Am I a Redneck?

[RobertJ.]

Two weeks ago, my wife and I spent 4 days in Vegas. We were there for business, but we had some fun, too.

One of the shows we saw was Bill Engvall. He was pretty funny. While we were there, I looked around and thought, wow, there's seventeen hundred rednecks in here! (Nascar was going on that weekend, and there were lots of fans at that show)
Then I started thinking, do I qualify as a redneck? I don't watch sports, I don't drink beer (or anything), and I don't like Nascar. Then it occurred to me, I have an HD from the US Navy, I'm a church-going, born again Christian, I'm a registered Republican, I'm a life-long shooter, I have concealed carry permits in two states, and I play harmonica in a band that plays mainly old folk, country, and bluegrass. I'm more redneck than most of the people in here!

Just an amusing observation!

 

[Bullseye 2620]

Have you ever ended up in an emergency room after handing your beer to a buddy and saying, "Watch this!" ?

No? Didn't think so.


Bullseye

 

[Fishslayer]

Have ya ever shot rats in yer backyard off the top of a hot tub?

 

[P&R Fan]

I'm more redneck than most of the people in here!

Just an amusing observation![/QUOTE]

You say that like it's a bad thing.

 

[RIDE-RED 350r]

Nothing wrong with being a redneck. I have no problem admitting that I myself am one. Id rather spend a weekend with a bunch of down-home rednecks, than a bunch of elitist, ruling class lib-tards any day!

 

[rags]

Have you ever mowed your lawn and found more than 1 car?

rags

 

[John H]

Have you ever mowed your lawn?......... period!

cheers,

-John (bit of an aussie redneck myself).

 

[Rule 303]

Takes one to know one.

Yep, RobertJ, you're a Redneck and I am too.

Rule 303

 

[bitstream]

Have ya ever shot rats in yer backyard off the top of a hot tub?

I'm interested in what gun/ammo combo is hot tub safe?

// I'm not sure I want to know where you holstered it....

 

[sipowicz]

Do you have more than 2 televisions on top of each other?

Any appliances on the porch?

Any outdoor furniture indoors?

 

[qbpc]

I been called a hightech redneck. I don't drink but I do like auto racing of all types my fav being Formula 1.

 

[ABC]

Here's a list

1. Your richest relative buys a new house and you have to help take the wheels off.
2. You think potted meat on a saltine is a hors d'oeuvre.
3. There is a stuffed possum mounted anywhere in your home.
4. You consider a six pack of beer and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
5. The primary color of your car is "Bondo."
6. Directions to your house include: "turn off the paved road."
7. Your family tree does not fork.
8. Your wife's hairdo has ever been ruined by a ceiling fan.
9. You've ever hollered "Rock the house, Bubba!" during your kid's piano recital.
10. You've ever barbecued SPAM on the grill.
11. The neighbors started a petition over your Christmas lights.
12. You have refused to watch the Academy Awards since "Smokey and the Bandit" was snubbed for best motion picture.
13. The rear tires on your truck are twice as wide as the front ones.
14. You prominently display a gift in your house that you bought at Graceland.
15. You consider Outdoor Life deep reading.
16. You've ever worn a tube top to a wedding.
17. You think beef jerky and Moon Pies are two of the major food groups.
18. Your father encourages you to quit school when Larry announces an opening in the lube rack.
19. You have a rag for a gas cap.
20. You run out of beer and your friends go home.
21. You have orange road cones in your living room.
22. You have a black eye and a hickey at the same time.
23. People are scared to touch your bathrobe.
24. You've ever written you resume on a cocktail napkin.
25. The beertruck delivers door-to-door in your neighborhood.
26. Your car burns more oil than it does gas.
27. Your class reunion is a keg party in the woods.
28. You've ever burped and killed a fly.
29. You have a Jack Daniels poster in your living room.
30. Your new sofa was on a curb in another part of town yesterday.
31. You belong to a beer of the month club.
32. It's midnight and everyone one your street knows what album you're playing.
33. You celebrate every night like it's New Year's Eve.
34. You've ever hitchhiked naked.
35. Your bumper sticker says, "My child whipped your honor student's ***."
36. You had a toothpick in your mouth when you had your wedding picture taken.
37. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
38. You have a "Hefty bag" for a passenger side window on your car.
39. Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.
40. You consider your license plate "personalized" because your father made it.
41. You own more than three shirts with cut-off sleeves.
42. You have ever driven down the road with your seat belt hanging out of the door making sparks.
43. You have ever spray-painted your girlfriend's name on an overpass.
44. Someone asks to see your ID, and you show them your belt buckle.
45. Your dog and your wallet are both on a chain.
46. You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.
47. You have ever lost a tooth opening a beer bottle.
48. You see no need to stop at a rest area because you have an empty milk jug in the car.
49. Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.
50. Red Man chewing tobacco sends you a Christmas card.
51. You bought a VCR because wrestling comes on while you're at work.
52. Lawn ornamentation means a Chevy and a Buick.
53. You go to family reunions to meet women.
54. You have ever signed a petition to have the national anthem changed to "Free Bird."
55. You call your boss "dude."
56. You have ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance.
57. You look like Willie Nelson after you get your hair cut.
58. You own more cowboy boots than sneakers.
59. You wear a belt buckle that weighs more than three pounds.
60. Your girlfriend thinks the way you pick your nose is cute.
61. You have a gun rack on your bass boat.
62. You prepare for a bubble bath by eating beans.

 

[qbpc]

10. You've ever barbecued SPAM on the grill

That confirms my fears I am a Redneck LOL

 

[Bullseye 2620]

Yer Christmas decorations include. . .

Bullseye

 

[DeathGrip]

13. The rear tires on your truck are twice as wide as the front ones.
Those are called "Big and Littles".Not accepted on 4x4s
25. The beertruck delivers door-to-door in your neighborhood.
I need to move all we have is Icecream trucks.
26. Your car burns more oil than it does gas.
I had a truck that leaked more oil than used gas.Duz that count?

 

[HCD]

ABC, you missed one.

63. If your mom doesn't even take the Marlboro out of her mouth when she tells you to kiss her A**

 

[DeathGrip]

Any appliances on the porch?

Any outdoor furniture indoors?

Small refrigerator is required on the porch.Cooler for the real impoverished.

Plastic chairs at the supper table and most important....a recliner on the porch and a bucket seat or two for your friends.(I like the T-Bird seats from '68 the best)The old bench seat is for first dates.

 

[ladder13]

Am I a redneck?

Thankfully, NO.

 

[deduke1907]

do you drink BUBBA COLA

 

[ABC]

do you drink BUBBA COLA

Does that really exist??