My mother was first diagnosed with breast cancer in the 1980's A mastectomy, chemo and radiation saw her beat the desease. It returned in a much milder form in the early to mid 90's requiring radiation only and Mum considered herself cancer free until August 2017.
Karen and I were in our last few weeks as full time residents at the Transplant Center when we learned mums cancer genes had metastasised into her bones. Without treatment she would not have seen that Christmas. She reluctantly was moved into the palative care unit at our local rest home.
Unfortunately at the same time, what we had suspected for a while, that mum was also suffering from the onset of dementia, was also confirmed. Mum was insistent that she was perfectly fine mentally and that she would beat this cancer too. Unfortunately that was more wishful thinking than factual.
When we returned from our holiday mid November it was obvious Mum had deteriorated while we were away. She spoke often of her parents and other long departed friends as if they were still with us. By Christmas she was often confused as to what was going on around her. On New Years Eve mum fell from her bed and for the first time she stated she thought she was going, but she added that she was far from ready.
Last Monday my brother and I had a meeting with the nursing manager for mums next stage of care. On Thursday evening my brother and SIL were visiting mum and I received a text that there were a lot of other visitors there, including animals, that only mum could see and speak to. The next morning the home called me to say mums condition was deteriorating. I got down to the home not long afterwards to find mum non-responsive.
That evening I started to write the eulogy for mums memorial. I had just finished and saved the document to my cloud account when my hard drive died
This morning at about 2:30 am I woke up for no apparent reason. I wandered the house for a few minutes and returned to bed. Unusually for me I dropped off to sleep again relatively quickly. When I woke up about 7 am I found a text from my brother timed just after 3 am saying he was at the home and mum has passed away, peacefully and pain free.
Mum was very spiritual but definately not religious. She believed in past lives and rebirth and that her father, who passed away in 1972, had continued to watch over her and was waiting for her "on the other side". I like to think that her private conversations on a Thursday were with those who had gone before her. I am certain that the animals, including 10 dogs, were the various pets she had custody of during her life.
Like mum I am not particularly religious, but I have seen and experienced so many things in my life that can only be explained through spirituality. I believe, just not the way most believe.
I am sure that the reason I woke up this morning was because mum had decided it was finally time to leave us and was saying goodbye. I now have an angel on my shoulder.
Mum never saw herself as aging. She was bought up in a musical family and played saxophone in dance bands in the 50's and 60's. My father played trombone and while both loved the big band style they had differing influences. Mum preferred Glen Miller while my father, being English liked Ted Heath. In later years mum became a Country Music fan again (her father had played tenor banjo as well as drumming in dance bands). Which is why in a thread on funeral music I spoke of this song.
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_CI-0E_jses[/ame]
And
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8of3uhG1tCI[/ame]
Even recently when mum heard good "swing"music she would dance. One of the last things she wanted was a turntable to play the music she still owned on LP's.
Mum didn't want a funeral. She wanted us to rent a casket for a family gathering but then return it as she is to be cremated. There are enough family and close friends that we will be holding a "Lifetime e celebration" on Wednesday, after which Mum will be cremated. She wanted her ashes mixed with those of her last animal companion, Major, a Belgian Shepherd, which she has kept for the last 20 years and both cast into the sea at the end of our town.
She will always be
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pmcBRvcOiC0[/ame]
Karen and I were in our last few weeks as full time residents at the Transplant Center when we learned mums cancer genes had metastasised into her bones. Without treatment she would not have seen that Christmas. She reluctantly was moved into the palative care unit at our local rest home.
Unfortunately at the same time, what we had suspected for a while, that mum was also suffering from the onset of dementia, was also confirmed. Mum was insistent that she was perfectly fine mentally and that she would beat this cancer too. Unfortunately that was more wishful thinking than factual.
When we returned from our holiday mid November it was obvious Mum had deteriorated while we were away. She spoke often of her parents and other long departed friends as if they were still with us. By Christmas she was often confused as to what was going on around her. On New Years Eve mum fell from her bed and for the first time she stated she thought she was going, but she added that she was far from ready.
Last Monday my brother and I had a meeting with the nursing manager for mums next stage of care. On Thursday evening my brother and SIL were visiting mum and I received a text that there were a lot of other visitors there, including animals, that only mum could see and speak to. The next morning the home called me to say mums condition was deteriorating. I got down to the home not long afterwards to find mum non-responsive.
That evening I started to write the eulogy for mums memorial. I had just finished and saved the document to my cloud account when my hard drive died
This morning at about 2:30 am I woke up for no apparent reason. I wandered the house for a few minutes and returned to bed. Unusually for me I dropped off to sleep again relatively quickly. When I woke up about 7 am I found a text from my brother timed just after 3 am saying he was at the home and mum has passed away, peacefully and pain free.
Mum was very spiritual but definately not religious. She believed in past lives and rebirth and that her father, who passed away in 1972, had continued to watch over her and was waiting for her "on the other side". I like to think that her private conversations on a Thursday were with those who had gone before her. I am certain that the animals, including 10 dogs, were the various pets she had custody of during her life.
Like mum I am not particularly religious, but I have seen and experienced so many things in my life that can only be explained through spirituality. I believe, just not the way most believe.
I am sure that the reason I woke up this morning was because mum had decided it was finally time to leave us and was saying goodbye. I now have an angel on my shoulder.
Mum never saw herself as aging. She was bought up in a musical family and played saxophone in dance bands in the 50's and 60's. My father played trombone and while both loved the big band style they had differing influences. Mum preferred Glen Miller while my father, being English liked Ted Heath. In later years mum became a Country Music fan again (her father had played tenor banjo as well as drumming in dance bands). Which is why in a thread on funeral music I spoke of this song.
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_CI-0E_jses[/ame]
And
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=8of3uhG1tCI[/ame]
Even recently when mum heard good "swing"music she would dance. One of the last things she wanted was a turntable to play the music she still owned on LP's.
Mum didn't want a funeral. She wanted us to rent a casket for a family gathering but then return it as she is to be cremated. There are enough family and close friends that we will be holding a "Lifetime e celebration" on Wednesday, after which Mum will be cremated. She wanted her ashes mixed with those of her last animal companion, Major, a Belgian Shepherd, which she has kept for the last 20 years and both cast into the sea at the end of our town.
She will always be
[ame]https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pmcBRvcOiC0[/ame]
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