College Student Jokes

[Vegetaman]

There's a lot of 'em, I know, but I always find this one to be the funniest:

~~~~~

A young man hired by a supermarket reported for his first day of work. The manager greeted him with a warm handshake and a smile, gave him a broom and said, "Your first job will be to sweep out the store."

"But I'm a college graduate," the young man replied indignantly.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that," said the manager. "Here, give me the broom....I'll show you how."

 

[Ron H.]

You can always tell a college student ... but you can't tell him much.

Hope this helps, and Semper Fi.

Ron H.

 

[Vegetaman]

A student comes to a young professor's office hours. She glances down the hall, closes his door, kneels pleadingly.

"I would do anything to pass this exam."

She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes.

"I mean..." she whispers, "...I would do... anything!!!"

He returns her gaze. "Anything???"

"Yes! Anything!!!"

His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study???

 

[Tom M]

popular UofM story...

A young man went into a shop and asked the clerk for a butter pecan ice cream cone. The clerk said, "You're an honors student from Ohio State University, aren't you?"

The young man was amazed and said, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"

The clerk replied, "This is a hardware store."

 

[USAF385]

I'm amazed by the kids I go to school with...

One told me during orientation that he didn't really need to be attending school... he was working full time at Taco Bell and sometimes made more than $300 a week! Of course, he still lived at home, didn't pay his own car insurance, didn't have his own health insurance (he is under his parents), didn't even pay his cell phone bill... but he didn't believe me that such things would make a big difference.

Another in my business class informed the teacher he could easily live off of $5,000 a year. Don't get me wrong, so could I... but I wouldn't have a house or car or anything else really....

I find the most sensible students I run into are those who are back in school after loosing a job or are veterans.

 

[mtgianni]

How does a MSU coed take a bath? Fill up the tub and turn on the water.
What did the MSU grad say to the U of M Grad? Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?

 

[charlie sherrill]

That joke would work well in Michigan or Mississippi. Why hasn't Mississippi State put artificial turf on their football field? The cheerleaders wouldn't have anywhere to graze. The guys at Ole Miss got all excited about a government grant for the study of septic tanks until they found out they couldn't use them to attack L.S.U.