Epitaphs...

[PALADIN85020]

With the passing of Peter Falk the other day, I got to thinking how he would like to be remembered, and what the epitaph on his tombstone might say.

At any rate, I've seen and heard about some memorable epitaphs over the years; here are just a few:

"I told you I was sick."

Seen on an atheist's tombstone: "All dressed up and no place to go."

Some of the most memorable grave markers are in Boothill, Tombstone Arizona's infamous cemetery:

Share some you remember or have photographed!

John

 

[loutent]

I can't pass a graveyard without snapping a few pics - here's one I shot way back in 1966 that fits in with the theme - always got a chuckle out of it

 

[jeepjeepwhat]

I don't have any pictures but here are a few.

Mel Blanc "That's all Folks!"

George Garlin - "Gee, he was here a moment ago"

Rodney Dangerfield - "There goes the neighborhood"

Jackie Gleason - "And away we go!"

Jesse James - "Murdered by a traitor and a coward, whose name is not worthy to appear here" (written by his mother)


Frank Sinatra - "The best is yet to come"

and yes I cheated..

Epitaphs - Wikiquote

Big John - "At the bottom of this mine lays one hell of a man" -(Johnny Cash Lyrics)

 

[Frank237]

Used to be a few graves on a Ranch I used to hunt. One of them had a wooden marker from 1888. Basically stated the deceased " Killed by Godless Indians, for no reason at all. May God send them to hell for eternity".

Always liked that sentiment. Back in 1989 when we had some wildfires the marker was burnt to the ground.

FN in MT

 

[rocketdog]

Peter Falk--"Oh, and there's just one more thing...."

 

[blujax01]

Merv Griffin ...

 

[DeadAye]

Here lies Ed Jones
Lost at sea
And never found.

Might not have been Ed Jones, but it was at Disney World and sorta stuck in my head for 30 years or so......

 

[Fishslayer]

 

[CelticSire]

 

[PALADIN85020]

John Wayne always said he wanted a simple epitaph: "Feo, fuerte y formal," which means "Ugly, strong and with dignity" in Spanish.

That was not to be. His marker reads:

"Tommorow is the most important thing in life. Comes into us at midnight very clean. It's perfect when it arrives and it puts itself in our hands. It hopes we've learnt something from yesterday."

John

 

[blujax01]

I used to have a link to an epitaph maker. Put your words on it and it generated a tombstone. Lost it some time ago.

Anyway, what do you all want yours to read?

"He was honest, honorable, and treated his woman well."

 

[nicky4968]

My favorite:
"He was born to wealth. He spent vast amounts on whiskey, cards, and loose women. The rest he squandered".

 

[charlie sherrill]

This one not too far from here. He died over 100 years ago and his stone reads "I'm Gonna Plant Myself Some Shade." The roots from the old oak that still stands has pretty much demolished the grave site. "Maw Loved Paw. Paw Loved Wimmin. Maw Caught Paw With Two In Swimmin. Here Lies Paw." Burma Shave. An old departed retired Highway Patrol friend of mine has one with his picture sitting in a Mississippi Highway Patrol cruiser engraved on his headstone with the inscription "Patrolling the Highways of Heaven. When you see one with a Bible verse, look it up when you get home. You would be surprised what they are. We had a squabble about one that said something about you need to properly raise your children. It was put there by a daughter who had been ignored by her father until he was on his deathbed. It was mysteriously chiseled off in the middle of the night.

 

[badam0112]

Here are a few I found.

 

[Gary]

This one was a guy supposedly put on his wife's grave:

"She finally shut up"

 

[7shooter]

A COWBOY TOMBSTONE:

Here are the Five Rules for Men to Follow for a Happy Life that Russell J. Larsen had inscribed on his headstone in Logan, Utah. He died not knowing that he would win the 'Coolest Headstone' contest.



FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW FOR A HAPPY LIFE:

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up, and has a job.

2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust, and doesn't lie to you.

4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed, and likes to be with you.

5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other or you could end up dead like me.

 

[walnutred]

One time when I was a kid my dad commented to me that he once saw an epithet on an old tombstone that stuck with him. It simply said “Went Home”. So when the time came I made sure that was what was written on his.

I’ve always said I want mine to be the last line of a poem called “The Ballad of William Sycamore”.

“Go play with the towns you have built of blocks,
The towns where you would have bound me!
I sleep in my earth like a tired fox,
And my buffalo have found me.”

 

[COL Jagdog]

In my book, Lord Byron authored the most moving epitaph -- it is dedicated to the memory of his Newfoundland dog, "Boatswain":

"Near this spot
are deposited the Remains of one
who possessed Beauty without Vanity
Strength without Insolence
Courage without Ferocity
and all of the virtues of Man without his vices"

Written in 1808 Newstead, England

Lord Byron also wrote a longer and more descriptive poem/memorial
of Boatswain -- very touching to read.

 

[mg357]

Here is what i would want my epitaph to be " he served his time in hell with his head held high and on four wheels".

 

[Jst1mr]

No pics, but some favorites:
"Steel True, Blade Staight"

"To save your world you asked this man to die: Would this man, could he see you now, ask why?

and, forgiving some modernization:
"Good friend, for Jesus' sake forbear, to dig the dust enclosed in here. Blessed be the man that spares these stones and cursed be he that moves my bones."