I Want To Say About The Military Folks

[4506517]

I want to get out something that has been bothering me (well, maybe that's not the correct term) when it comes to military folks (EVERYONE: soldiers, sailors, airmen, and marines). It involves when I have interaction with folks in uniform when I'm in uniform. I will relate two stories.

A couple years ago when I was detailed to courts, two soldiers in uniform (I belive E5s or E6s) where in the courthouse to obtain criminal histories on possible recruits (this is frequent). I was (of course) in uniform as I was on duty. I spoke with the guys (who were quite friendly) and just made some brief small talk. I noticed both had CIB patches with what I believe were subsequent awards. I said "From a grateful citizen, I really appreciate your sacrifices on my behalf and that of the country". The guys replied "It is our privilege and honor to serve. Thank you for your service" I instantly felt uncomfortable. I said "Well, this isn't really service. I recognize a CIB and no matter what I do, it doesn't really compare to what you guys have done". They said "No, your service is as important as ours. You guys protect the home front." I can't really describe how stupid I felt. Here are guys how have seen combat, possibly lost friends, taken fire, seen destruction on a wide spread scale, and here they are thanking me for my "service".

Today I was on my way in to work. I live close to a National Guard/Army range facility(ies) and an Armory. I pulled into one of the local convenience stores and grabbed my obligatory Mountain Dew and BC powder (green arthritis strength). There was a young(er) man in Army fatigues walking in at the same time. We both approached the counter at the same time. I immediately insisted he step to the counter before me. He seemed a little sheepish, but I insisted. As he left I said "Thanks for your sacrifices". He thanked me and left.

I guess what I'm saying is this. Almost to a person, I've never met any military person in uniform that has been anything other than polite and courteous.

Am I wrong in thanking folks for their service or sacrifice? I'll admit one of my biggest regrets is never having served. I feel very embarrassed when someone in uniform thanks me for my "sacrifice" or my "service". I would NEVER equate my law enforcement job as real "service" or "sacrifice". To me, it just isn't the same. I've never been sent away from my family and tasked with a difficult job. To me (sorry if this makes folks mad) law enforcement is no where close to as honorable as military service. It just isn't.

I'll admit I have a hard time watching military funerals or services. I feel so sad for the families who have experienced the loss and I am overwhelmingly grateful to them for their sacrifice and what their loved on has done for me.

My father is a (very) early Vietnam vet (actually Laos) and he just laughs when I ask him if I should just say hello to guys in uniform. He says I'm overthinking it, but it's really important to me. Should I just say hello, or am I making folks uncomfortable? I mean, I recognize military rank, and when in uniform I salute military officers (and generally speaking sgts and above). It is our agency policy and I feel it is just the right thing to do.

Can some of you guys share your thoughts with me please? What should I do?

 

[Bkreutz]

I also feel you're over thinking it. Just be friendly, most, if not all combat vets don't feel like "heros". The "heros" are the ones we left on the battlefield. (oh, and don't salute sergeants or call us "sir", it makes us nervous). In the current climate in this country, I think being a LEO is every bit as dangerous as a combat tour. (minus the long trip to work )

 

[Just_Alex]

Just be glad that you don't live/work in my town. You will never get anything done if you stop and chat up military people, your arthritis will really be killing you saluting and you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a combat veteran somewhere, and I love kitties. I purposely dress down to not convey a military background or affiliation. I definitely get uncomfortable with the "thank you for..." statements and would rather some other guy get those kudos.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

 

[vigil617]

If you're overthinking it, at least you're overthinking it in the right way. Courtesy is never out of style or inappropriate.

Living near such a large military base (Fort Bragg), I, like you, have only ever had courteous and friendly interactions with folks in uniform. In fact, the most "sirs" and "m'ams" I hear in this Southern city come from our service members, and it is delightful to hear.

I like to speak to them, too, and frankly the only thing for me that gets in the way is that the Army uniforms today make it hard for me to determine at a glance what the rank of the person is, especially for enlisted members. I like to respect the rank of someone in uniform by calling him or her by it, but if I can't tell, I can only say "hi." There's not a generic term that's appropriate, is there? If there is, somebody let me know.

 

[Shark Bait]

I am a retired police officer and I am retired military (Army - 30 years total active duty, Reserve and Guard). There is nothing wrong with the respect you are showing to service members, nor is there anything wrong with the respect they show you in return. In many cases, law enforcement officers are treated in a similar manner as Vietnam veterans when they returned home. Cops get spit on, blamed for many things out of their control, and generally disrespected all the time. Especially in today's climate. Cops serve on the front lines of a battlefield every day and it is a war without end. I got deployed twice, each time for a year. But I got to come home and go back to my civilian job (Forest Service now). Believe me, if you are a law enforcement officer who is working the streets on a daily basis, you face more dangers than many combat veterans. Keep in mind that the term "combat veteran" applies to any service member who served in a combat zone, regardless of whether they saw any combat. I am considered a combat veteran, but I was involved in only one situation that even came close to combat. Do not sell yourself short! You are on the front lines of the ongoing war at home and deserve great respect. Take pride in that fact and let it inspire you to do the best job you can. Hold your head high, sir. (And like Bkreutz said, don't salute NCO's or enlisted. They will probably just look at you like you're high. )

 

[Rustyt1953]

My brother has never worn a uniform but has earned the thanks of GI's and LEO's alike as he has done a lot of defense work with AM General, Boeing, Raytheon, BAE, GE, Sikorsky and Bell, to name a few, that benefited both.

Like Red Green said: "Remember, we're all in this together."

 

[walkin jack]

I have noticed the same thing as the OP. The only thing I can come up with is that, as a Vietnam vet I have seen things go the other way on the welcome home from civilians. Maybe...just maybe... military and civilians alike are aware of that awful situation and determined to see that genuine gratitude from both sides be the norm from now on.

And I agree with the statement from the soldiers in the first example that said that LEOs are protecting American citizens on the home front and often in the face of just as much danger as the military do on foreign soil. And I firmly believe that our LEOs deserve just as much respect, gratitude and recognition for the jobs they do.

It's scary to think what all might happen with out our soldiers and LEOs and we must NEVER take either for granted.

 

[STCM(SW)]

The guys I see in uniform I just say "Hi" too and smile.
Said I don't want anybody treated like I was from '68 to '72 in uniform being called a baby killer!
I'll have to stop wearing my ship's hat's, they keep calling me "Sir" and thank me for my service.....

 

[codenamedave]

Notta lotta multiple CIB awardees out there. The last cold war action for which one was eligible was in 1995, so a multiple awardee in current service would have at least 22 years in.

I'm always a bit wary when people ask me about being a vet, because previous experience has taught me their reaction is almost always going to be negative. The whole "Thank you for your service" thing is a fairly new phenomenon. Of course back then soldiers weren't allowed off base in fatigues, either, you had to be in dress uniform or civies. IIRC MPs were one exception.

I've seen comments from current & recently discharged service members to the effect that if they see you out & about in your fatigues, they figure you're just cruising for compliments or for people to pick up your check.

People who aren't in the military saluting in general has always bugged me. I kinda get it for police services, amongst themselves, but not towards those outside of their ranks. When I see something like EMTs saluting a fallen officer, I think placing your hand over your heart would be much more appropriate. Then again, it also bugs me when men wear hats indoors when they're not under arms, so I admit to being grossly out of fashion.

Lastly, you can count me amongst those who feel that modern city cops have it worse than grunts in the field. Sure you get a shower and a bed more often, but between all the abuse, from both above and below, that officers have to deal with on a daily basis, and getting shot at once in a while and sleeping in a hole, I'll take the later, please.

And thank you for your service!

 

[hoosierone]

My father fought at Peliliu and was wounded. I recall as a boy he and his fellow combat vets would comment about whether or not a particular vet had been under fire. He also would say that the heroes are still over there.

He was not happy when I chose to join the Army.

Years ago I took to wearing an Army cap because of the times. Many have thanked me for my service. I just reply it was a long time ago.

 

[4506517]

I am truly appreciative of what the military folks have to sacrifice. I would never knowingly do anything to make anyone feel uncomfortable. Given my father's past service, every time I see a Vietnam vet (usually identified by a hat or t shirt) I make a habit of just saying "welcome home". I have had more than one say "thanks" very quietly and could tell from the look in their eyes that it was much appreciated.

I guess a lot of this comes from the stories from my parents about when dad first went overseas. I have seen pictures from when he first enlisted (smiles) to headed off to boot camp (not smiling so much) to his last visit home before heading overseas (much concern and fear in his eyes). I cant help but think of that look in my dad's eyes and I imagine almost every service member feels that way before they deploy.

I appreciate everyone's feedback. I really feel as though ALL service members and vets are special people that I have A LOT of respect for. They have done something I was never brave enough to do.

I just really want to show my thanks in the most respectful manner possible.

 

[rwsmith]

Some benefits and levels of sacrifice....

To some, it's their job. There are some benefits in the service. Thousands of young men have found their way from their service experience, it gave them a chance to grow up productively and they have a better command of the life they want to lead as a result.

Even for a peacetime hitch, the pay ain't great, you are away from your family and there are a lot of restrictions on your daily life. But it's an important job and somebody needs to do it.

However, any time something erupts there is a good chance you could be heavily involved in a dangerous situation most likely in some inhospitable place. Like my Grandfather was dragged out of a small town that he'd never been out of and shipped over to France to fight in WWI. Or people that are serving in the Middle East.

There are levels of service fromm doing a job to getting killed so there's nothing left to bury or send home. But I sleep much better knowing that all of our forces are on the job and ready.

I think that the service is worth thanking people for.

Who was it that said that we could sleep "because rough men are watching over us"?

 

[Bullzaye]

I would NEVER equate my law enforcement job as real "service" or "sacrifice". To me, it just isn't the same. I've never been sent away from my family and tasked with a difficult job. To me (sorry if this makes folks mad) law enforcement is no where close to as honorable as military service. It just isn't.

I don't want this to sound insulting to any LEOs anywhere, but I completely agree with your assessment. While I acknowledge that many LE have a very difficult job, and often go in harm's way, I still can't equate it to military service. I have several friends in LE, and I have nothing but respect and admiration for the job they do.

To my mind...a few of the pronounced differences. LE folks go home every night to their families. They have a stable home life, they do not miss out on years and years of the lives of their parents or other family members, they're home with their families for most holidays. They get paid overtime, and in general, their financial compensation is far superior to the military. If they are told to do something they don't agree with, or they get a new superior that they do not get along with...they can quit. There is no long-term commitment.

Again...I mean no disrespect towards LEOs. I just don't see it as being the same level of commitment as military service.

As to the offering of thanks to vets. While I definitely appreciate being thanked for my service, it is a touch embarrassing. I never know how to respond. Saying "Thanks!", seems an odd response to their saying "Thank You", and "You're Welcome!", seems to imply that I deserve the thanks. I can't quite see me saying, "It was my privilege and honor to serve"...it just sounds contrived and self-aggrandizing to my ear. So, generally, I just smile and trot out my humblest, "Well...thank you". But, I think it's great that you're thanking vets and/or active duty members. If they thank you in return, all you can do is accept their thanks in your humblest way, and move on.

Tim

 

[Shark Bait]

In the past few years I have starting thanking law enforcement officers for their service and/or buying their meals at restaurants. By the time they find out their meal is paid for I'm gone. It has been done for me in the past and I'm happy to continue it.

 

[codenamedave]

Who was it that said that we could sleep "because rough men are watching over us"?

That's one of the more popular mis-quotes:

"People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf."

- George Orwell

Found this on wiki:

Quote Investigator found the earliest known appearance in a 1993 Washington Times essay by Richard Grenier: "As George Orwell pointed out, people sleep peacefully in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf." The absence of quotation marks indicates that Grenier was using his own words to convey his interpretation of Orwell's opinion, as seen in citations below.

One thing Orwell did say:

"Those who 'abjure' violence can do so only because others are committing violence on their behalf."

Which kind of goes back to the cop thing. All the "protesters" throwing rocks at the police would have no problem calling for someone with a badge and a gun to come running when they feel threatened.

 

[richardw]

Yes, you are overthinking it. Keep in mind that the majority of people serving in the military will never experience a shot fired at them nor have to fire a shot at an enemy. Are they important? Yes they are. The combatants are totally dependent upon them and they do their jobs well. That keeps many combatants in a better position than they might have otherwise been. We owe them thanks for their service.

Now let's talk civilians who never served in the military but who do jobs that are of service to our people and our country. They serve too and because theyz do some Marine in Syria has ceramic body armor, a soldier in Iraq has a line of communications home. A sailor at sea on a carrier has a port happy to welcome him When he or she gets home. An airmen flying sorties in the Middle East hot zones has great equipment because non combatants serve.

When a hard working person does his or her job effectively that makes the nation stronger. It is something to be proud of and to accept thanks for doing it.

So the next time you are thanked for your service understand that we who served are grateful to the people who provided what we needed to excel and win. You earned it, now enjoy it.

 

[JH1951]

Society is split today between those that have respect and gratitude for what they have earned, and those that have no sense of respect but are entitled (somehow) to be deserving of everything without earning anything.
I served nine years in an Army uniform and am now getting old in the fire service (as a vollie, not paid). I was not well received as a vet in the '70's, as politics undermined respect for military service. I do not 'expect' anyone to say thankyou to me for what I did or what I do. By the same token, I do expect not to be disrespected, and it seems today that is asking a bit much of some people. I have found that the 'brotherhood' of fire service also loosely binds Law Enforcement and often military personnel as well. If nothing more, we tend to give a bit of our time for the betterment of our community and country. We also tend to appreciate each other. Most of us tend to shy a bit when someone thanks us for our service. We don't expect it at all. But truth be told, it does warm hearts a bit that may have gotten a bit cold over time. My service was/is a way of saying thankyou to my country for all of the freedoms and opportunities afforded to me. Those that I did/do serve with support each other for the most part.
To the OP: If you feel gratitude, express it. It may not be viewed as PC, but I'm not much for that either. I feel quite fortunate that I grew up in the '50 & '60's. I was able to experience and rub elbows with The Greatest Generation, and I am doing my best to pass on what I can to those today that are not so self consumed that they can listen. There are lots of good people out there (I suspect a majority of the masses), but sadly they are somewhat overshadowed by those that would rather complain and demand things from others.
This could evolve into a book so I will stop now.
From my heart: Thanks to all that have served in any capacity to improve their community and country.

 

[richardw]

Jh1951,

Bravo!!! Better said than I could ever do. Thank you.

 

[Steve912]

Quote Investigator found the earliest known appearance in a 1993 Washington Times essay by Richard Grenier:

Wonder if he's any relation to Ronald...?

Anyway, someone personally rendering thanks for service meant/means a lot more to me than a zillion bumper stickers, tailgate magnets, and Facebook memes to "Support Our Troops".

 

[Dobie406]

Being a retired career NCO, I have mixed emotions about being thanked for my service. I am proud of my time in the Army, but I do not feel deserving of any praise. My career was, and continues to be, a rewarding and fulfilling experience. I received an adequate wage and led an interesting life not many get to experience. That being said, I get uncomfortable being thanked for it, if anything I'm the one grateful for having had the opportunities an Army career gave me. I appreciate the sentiment behind thank you's and kind words, but I wish all people who make life around them safer, kinder or in any way better, but don't have a uniform to identify them, could also receive their due.