Looking for help......

[lyytinen]

Hey all I'm a new member here and am looking for a little mental help.

My name is Bob and my son committed suicide last year (01 Sept 2013) with one of my pistols. I finally decided to go to therapy today and it was recommended that I talk to people with similar interests that I had prior to the event. That being said I've lost interest in a lot of the things that made me happy prior to his death. Don't worry I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I'm just trying to get my head and life back together. I'm not going to go into details on the suicide or anything prior to it. I just need people to use as a sounding board for my feelings. I've been crushed by this and hope that some of you will be able to help me through this horrible experience. I've had people ask why I still own guns, etc, etc. This post isn't for that. It's to ask for a person or group to help me get out of the dark place I'm in and have been in for over a year. I need to become a viable member of society again.

I'll give my contact info to y'all if I receive a PM. I don't want to post everything here.

Thanks,

Bob

 

[WuzzFuzz]

All I can say at the moment Bob, is we will help and give you any and all the support we can.


WuzzFuzz

 

[lyytinen]

Wuzzfuzz,
Thank you. Like I said.... I don't want to wash my laundry in a forum.... just asking for people to listen. There's no way I could get it all out in a forum and there are too many people that I would feel obliged to answer individually.

 

[zzzippper]

Bob, I know it is of no comfort but I work with two guys whose sons killed themselves. One left a note saying it was because of his dad. As horrible as things seem humans are incredibly resilient and the ultimate survivors. You will come through this darkness and thank you for seeking help.

 

[wbraswell]

We are a big family with lots of varied interests. There will be those here who share what you have had for hobbies. I'm sure there are those who know your pain, also. God bless you.

 

[Maze 686]

Bob, you'll find the crowd here to be mature and not out to hurt anybody. You'll find friends in most of us even if we don't see eye to eye sometimes.

I'm sure at least one of us has had to deal with what you have dealt with and would be more then happy to spend some time helping. That being said, welcome to the site.

 

[bgrone]

Help

Bob,

My name is Jim, my family has experienced similar tragedies, I hope I can help or at least provide a sounding board. I have sent you a PM with more details of my experiences. Feel free to PM me anytime.

Jim in Iowa

 

[JJEH]

Bob, I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine what you are going through. Where are you located?

Not sure how I can help, but I would recommend to find either a support group in your area or some local folks from this board.

I don't think that digital help is the right thing in order to work through those dark times. I can imagine that it's better to have some people around you.

 

[3dots]

Bob,

It wasn't the gun that killed your son so try not to look at them that way. If shooting is a hobby that you enjoy, please don't stop. This is very hard situation that no person should have to deal with but we play the cards we're dealt. I've known several that took their life and in every situation I can't understand why. Don't try and make sense of it or it'll drive you mad. Be thankful for what you do have and for those around you and cherish every day. You'll come to terms with this in time.

God Bless

 

[Rustyt1953]

Bob we are all touched by you opening your heart to us.
One of my cousins killed himself years ago. My aunt and uncle punished themselves for years before opening up to tell us they were afraid and hurting.
They came to understand that he chose his path not them. By allowing us to share their pain with them they came to terms with their grief.
I did volunteer counseling work at the VA for a few years and the lesson I learned is that all of us are broken vessels. God put us here to edify one another, to bear one another's burdens and to love one another. We are yours to command Bob.
Thanks for letting us in.

Your servant

 

[Doug M.]

Bob: I am sorry for your loss. Know that sometimes the burdens someone carries are just too great, and they do what they do. I have lost close friends that way, and hated it every time. I still cannot judge them.

I cannot imagine the additional emotional burden on you that goes with him using one of your pistols to end his life, but it must be immense. I will say that I have to disagree with him doing it in that way, for that reason, but ... logic in the face of his burdens is probably unfair to ask and I suppose we should not critique that decision either. Go to counseling, get what you can, and live your life the best you can.

 

[joeintexas]

Bob, I can't begin to know the pain you are going through, losing a child would be devastating to say the least. Know that you will be in our thoughts and prayers.

 

[soFlaNative]

Praying for you to find peace. Welcome and hoping you'll stay a while.

 

[tcook90]

I offer my condolences as well. About 25 years ago, my brother attempted suicide. God was watching out, and he survived. Many years later, we had a pretty deep conversation about it, and he said that even he didn't really know why he did it. Depression and desperation can go hand in hand, and the human mind can rationalize even the most unthinkable things. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

 

[dcxplant]

Bob,
You have my heartfelt condolences. As some have said already, the pistol was just a tool. Nothing more.

If you chose to enjoy the sport of firearms shooting or ownership, this a great place, and a very respectful place to hang out and chat.

If you just want to shoot the bull, this forum is one of the best I've ever come across! The knowledge base on a great many things from the entertaining to the informative on a wide range of subjects is mind-boggling.

You are not alone, and you are not the first nor last to have an experience like this, so keep your chin up. There is life after....

Welcome to the asylum!

 

[shouldazagged]

We can pray for you, try to encourage you, and listen as best we can. But the suggestion of a support group--many cities have groups specifically for suicide survivors, or even parents of suicides--is a good one. Another good one is professional counseling.

If there is a Hospice program where you live, you can ask them what is available. They can very likely direct you to some help.

I did mental health work for many years; but even if I had the emotional resources currently to undertake it again, I wouldn't try it here on the forum, in open posts or PM's.

Simply put, we can care and pray and offer encouragement, but you need a lot more help than we can offer. By all means stick around here, but please look for treatment where you live.

 

[venomballistics]

Oh let's see.
Rc aircraft, guitar, electronics, fishing, kites, woodworking, machining, car restoration ....
you are going to need some zen.
that is about all I can give you.
The rest you will need to seek local.

 

[carpriver]

Welcome to the forum. I am sorry for your loss. Losing a child is difficult, losing a child to suicide is terrible. I to did some mental health I recommend either a support group of survivor's of suicide or one on one counseling. You will need to start living your life again. Start doing the things you use to enjoy. You have to find that thing inside you, that spark that moves you.

We can't change the past, we can make a future. Don't be afraid to feel emotions.

 

[old bear]

Bob, no matter whatever else you do, DON'T blame yourself..... My prayers are going to you and your family.

 

[Sailor29]

That you have the strength to even bring this topic up in a public forum tells me (us?) that you are well on your way to getting it together. The loss of a loved one is always a heavy thing to bear. Nothing can change that loss. Accepting it however is something we can all eventually learn to do. I hope that everyone here can contribute something towards that path and bring you the peace you seek. I will say a prayer for your son and your family, and will light a candle for him in my church. God Bless you.


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