Looks like the last leg of the journey...

[Jst1mr]

Looks like the last leg of the journey for my Dad. He and my Mother have been in assisted living for the last year and a half or so, but we have now been told that his needs are greater than they can handle and that he will need to go to a nursing home. At 85, Parkinson's disease has whittled down a very proud and capable man into a barely recognizable shell of himself. Proud and hardworking, he never failed to put his family first...I can't really remember ever hearing him cuss, never smoked, had no use for alcohol. Wasn't educated, but taught himself everything he had to know. He drove truck for 35 yrs before retiring and is still married to his original love of 57 years...I don't think they have ever spent more than a couple nights apart. Mom isn't in the best of shape either after a stroke a couple years back, but is still mentally sharp. I'm afraid Dad won't last long when taken from her side. Seems a tough reward for living a squeaky-clean existence as a loving husband and father...not for us to understand, I guess.

 

[Iggy]

I went through what you are just recently and then to hospice and beyond.

Be strong and treat him like the man he still is.

 

[diamond_c]

Sorry to hear this...prayers sent.

 

[35Rem]

"Seems a tough reward for living a squeaky-clean existence"

The reward ain't here and no matter how good we are, we don't deserve that reward, and it can't be earned.

I wish you the best in this time. I hope it's many years before I have to deal with the (enevitable) loss of my parents. I've been lucky to have them for my 30 years (I'm the baby).

 

[bgrafsr]

I watched my Father get whittled down by cancer, but he was able to stay at home with our mother because of hospice. Most of his 9 children were there when he passed. I was working day shift, when the dispatcher called me and said I was to go to our parent's home in another city, because he was close to leaving us. I got there in time to have a talk with him and tell him how proud we all were of him, even though he was not lucid or awake. It was rough. We just lost Mom this past January too.

Hang in there and think of all the good times you spent with him.

 

[Evil Dog]

I am so sorry to hear. My prayers are with your father and family.

 

[feralmerril]

js1mr, I could have wrote your post 7 years ago. Mom went in 93 and dad in 2003. They were exactly as you discribed and lived in wisconsin too! Its the circle of life for every one of us. As dad always said, "Better days are comeing!"

 

[truckemup97]

I watched my maternal Grandfather go down that same road with Parkinson's. It's not a pleasant journey. All we can do is make it as comfortable and dignified as it can possibly be. Visit him often and keep telling him how much you love him. He and your family will be in my prayers.

 

[cjw3]

My mom died suddenly at home in 2005 at the age of 84 and my dad became ill last August and died after 5 days in the hospital; he was 88. I know what you are facing.

If you have not already done so, try to find out as much as you can ahead of time regarding their financial matters, i.e. stocks & bonds, deeds, who they bank with, life insurance, safe deposit box info, etc., etc. For the last few years of his life my dad prepared an annual statement with all of the above and it was a big help in getting it all sorted out after he died. When difficult decisions have to be made or complicated problems need to be addressed try to take them one at time and don't let it all overwhelm you.

They took care of you, now you must take care of them...but I think you already know that. Best wishes for you all.

 

[Old 44 Guy]

Prayers sent for you & yours. Keep the faith.

 

[FlYFiShErMaN]

Father - be with this family during this time of need. Comfort and keep them under your care - I pray for a hedge of protection around them all, Amen

Hebrews 11-1 faith is the substance of things hoped for and the evidence of things unseen.

Joshua 1:9"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do
not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you
go."

 

[DCWilson]

We're all on the last leg of a journey. The mileage is just a little shorter for some of us than for others.

Iggy was right on point. Inside your father's frame is the strong, capable man you always knew. Talk to that person, not the appearance.

I lost my father in 2005 when he was 86. He and my mother had been in assisted living for a year, and one day he had a stroke. The next day he went into a convalescent center from which everyone knew there would be no return, and a month later he died. My mother survived that hammer blow and went on for nearly four more years until she fell and broke her pelvis. She did her best to come back from that, but even after the bone healed she was too weak to resume her pre-fall life. We managed to keep her in the assisted living environment through additional shifts of private nursing care, and she enjoyed seeing her friends as often as she could. But last June, about six weeks after her 93rd birthday, she left us too.

We need to let them go when it is time, and we need to be grateful for all the time we have with them. And when there is no more time, we need to tell their stories with appreciation to those who will hear us, and when there are none to hear we need to tell the stories to ourselves.

I am sorry for your parents' challenges. I can only hope that the resolution will come with as much ease as there can be, both for them and for those who will be here a while longer after they have gone ahead.

Prayers and good thoughts from here.

 

[woodsltc]

These situations are always heartbreaking.........and unfortunately most families will go through something similar eventually.

Stay strong and keep the memories of your dad and mom when they were strong and vigerous.

Prayers for your parents, you and your family.

Don

 

[Out West]

What Iggy said - me too. It sounds trite, but the cycle of life includes a beginning and a end. Hold on to what made your loved ones special. Live your life the way they did. In that way you honor them.

Out
West

 

[setxn]

It is a tough time in life when you are worrying for those older and younger than yourself. We have lost all but my mother-in-law and my grandmother -talk about perfect examples of ladies of their time.They remind me of some fine vintage firearms-flawless form,perfect function and undeniable style.They are a credit to all before and after.