The best low-recoil choice for a snubbie is the full wadcutter target load. They are slow, but will give you 18" of penetration and cut a nice, clean hole.
The power associated with the .38 Special +P round, including temporary wound cavity and all of that, is really somewhat wimpy. Penetration is more important with this round. Testing has shown that many .38 and .38+P rounds don't penetrate to the minimum 12" (Nyclad and Ranger-T) or don't open at all and over-penetrate (Winchester PDX-1).
With the standard wadcutter, you achieve the penetration while cutting a nice clean hole, and do so with very light recoil.
And they're inexpensive, to boot.
For a more stout option, the only round I'd trust to open almost every time is the Speer Gold Dot Short Barrel .38+P 135 grain. But they are pricey and can be hard to find. Cheaper Than Dirt had them last week.