Marital Bliss?

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It's been an interesting week. It started Monday morning when Judy came in the back door of the court house. "Hello Mr. Sherrill." I didn't recognize her because of the two black eyes. She was there to get a child custody order and a restraining order. After she told me who she was I remembered she was a friend of a lady I was dating several years ago who broke it off after she found out about the vasectomy. That's another story. I remembered Judy as being married then to an abusive husband. They had a couple of kids and he allegedly used to beat her on a regular basis until she left and moved in with "Redbeard." She now has two small kids with "Redbeard." She's still not divorced from her husband so she and "Redbeard" never got married.

She was a few minutes early and proceeded to tell me about what was happening and why she was there. Judy said "Redbeard" was a baldheaded biker dude and was a little rough around the edges. She said he came in drunk one night last week and she took a picture of him urinating in a trash can in the laundry room. When she showed the picture to him the next morning she received the two black eyes for her efforts. "Redbeard" took the two toddlers to his mother's house in Tennessee.

Judy said that after she got her two court orders she was going over to Justice Court and file charges against against "redbeard" for domestic violence. Just before she went upstairs with her new lawyer she asked me where I was going when I got off. I told her I had a macrame project I needed to finish. You have to wonder how someone like that picks out their mates.

Tommy the P.I. was an old friend of mine. He's a retired LEO and has been a friend of mine for a long time. He had just finished testifying in a divorce case and sat down to talk while I was working the metal detector. He told me about the case he was on. John, who is 69, is suing Peggy, who is 65, for divorce. They've been married over 40 years. Peggy has been messing around. Tommy has video of her having sex with two different younger guys while hubby was away. She's shown giving money to one of them. Tommy also has phone recordings, notes, and some other stuff. We got quiet as Peggy walked by to go outside to smoke. Not bad for her age.

Tommy said the cause for the divorce is a slam dunk. He's got the right stuff on her. The reason for the trial is that the property settlement is very large. I see Peggy on the back steps smoking and smiling at one of our maintenance men. The trial was supposed to last two days but I guess the judge got tired of the drama and called the attorneys into his chambers and made them settle the case. I never did find out who got what.

Susan had a big problem in court yesterday. It seems that she got caught having an affair with her father-in-law and his son, her husband, is wanting the house, kids, and everything else. He won. I later found out the FIL broke off the affair after he found out she had also been having an affair with his other son. The bailiff passed this one on to me and when I asked if anyone ever brought up who the father of the kids might be he said if they did he didn't hear it.

I felt kind of sorry for the guy today. I could tell he really wanted someone to talk to. I listened even though I've already heard more than I wanted for the week. His name is George. He just got back from Iraq only to find his wife impregnated by another man. She was hoping he'd understand. He didn't. He was there to seek a custody order for the child they had together. She left with the new baby daddy last week and took George's six year old daughter with them.

The last one pulled up in my drive just as I got home. Keith had come in from working on an off shore drilling rig a few days ago and found his wife and kids gone. What he did find was empty liquor bottles and used condoms in their two year old house. I watched him build it. At my suggestion he built the house around a vault. Too bad she had the combination because she emptied it, including all of his guns. It's a large house on a hill with 20 acres of land. I've seen the wife once. She's not really anything to write home about.

Keith had already been before the judge with his lawyer and had the temporary custody orders and a restraining order written into the divorce papers. He wanted the restraining order to keep her from coming back and getting what little was left. He wanted me to serve them on her. Too close to home for me. I told him who the process server is.

I know there's some good ones out there. I had one once. I just haven't seen any this week.
 
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It's been an interesting week. It started Monday morning when Judy came in the back door of the court house. "Hello Mr. Sherrill." I didn't recognize her because of the two black eyes. She was there to get a child custody order and a restraining order. After she told me who she was I remembered she was a friend of a lady I was dating several years ago who broke it off after she found out about the vasectomy. That's another story. I remembered Judy as being married then to an abusive husband. They had a couple of kids and he allegedly used to beat her on a regular basis until she left and moved in with "Redbeard." She now has two small kids with "Redbeard." She's still not divorced from her husband so she and "Redbeard" never got married.

She was a few minutes early and proceeded to tell me about what was happening and why she was there. Judy said "Redbeard" was a baldheaded biker dude and was a little rough around the edges. She said he came in drunk one night last week and she took a picture of him urinating in a trash can in the laundry room. When she showed the picture to him the next morning she received the two black eyes for her efforts. "Redbeard" took the two toddlers to his mother's house in Tennessee.

Judy said that after she got her two court orders she was going over to Justice Court and file charges against against "redbeard" for domestic violence. Just before she went upstairs with her new lawyer she asked me where I was going when I got off. I told her I had a macrame project I needed to finish. You have to wonder how someone like that picks out their mates.

Tommy the P.I. was an old friend of mine. He's a retired LEO and has been a friend of mine for a long time. He had just finished testifying in a divorce case and sat down to talk while I was working the metal detector. He told me about the case he was on. John, who is 69, is suing Peggy, who is 65, for divorce. They've been married over 40 years. Peggy has been messing around. Tommy has video of her having sex with two different younger guys while hubby was away. She's shown giving money to one of them. Tommy also has phone recordings, notes, and some other stuff. We got quiet as Peggy walked by to go outside to smoke. Not bad for her age.

Tommy said the cause for the divorce is a slam dunk. He's got the right stuff on her. The reason for the trial is that the property settlement is very large. I see Peggy on the back steps smoking and smiling at one of our maintenance men. The trial was supposed to last two days but I guess the judge got tired of the drama and called the attorneys into his chambers and made them settle the case. I never did find out who got what.

Susan had a big problem in court yesterday. It seems that she got caught having an affair with her father-in-law and his son, her husband, is wanting the house, kids, and everything else. He won. I later found out the FIL broke off the affair after he found out she had also been having an affair with his other son. The bailiff passed this one on to me and when I asked if anyone ever brought up who the father of the kids might be he said if they did he didn't hear it.

I felt kind of sorry for the guy today. I could tell he really wanted someone to talk to. I listened even though I've already heard more than I wanted for the week. His name is George. He just got back from Iraq only to find his wife impregnated by another man. She was hoping he'd understand. He didn't. He was there to seek a custody order for the child they had together. She left with the new baby daddy last week and took George's six year old daughter with them.

The last one pulled up in my drive just as I got home. Keith had come in from working on an off shore drilling rig a few days ago and found his wife and kids gone. What he did find was empty liquor bottles and used condoms in their two year old house. I watched him build it. At my suggestion he built the house around a vault. Too bad she had the combination because she emptied it, including all of his guns. It's a large house on a hill with 20 acres of land. I've seen the wife once. She's not really anything to write home about.

Keith had already been before the judge with his lawyer and had the temporary custody orders and a restraining order written into the divorce papers. He wanted the restraining order to keep her from coming back and getting what little was left. He wanted me to serve them on her. Too close to home for me. I told him who the process server is.

I know there's some good ones out there. I had one once. I just haven't seen any this week.
 
I met my wife via the internet and asked her to marry me four days after we first spoke. It's worked out about as well as that sort of thing is going to as I like to say.
 
Dang Charlie,
I love reading your stories, they always make me realize how great I have it. Though we've only been married just over 8 years, I'm sure we will go the distance. Thanks for the uplifting tales of the Charlie and the metal detector. Aren't you supposed to go back to work soon?
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Bill
 
Originally posted by GatorFarmer:
I met my wife via the internet and asked her to marry me four days after we first spoke. It's worked out about as well as that sort of thing is going to as I like to say.

Is that good or bad??

I stole my wife from her ex 2 weeks after meeting her and I thought I was moving fast

FWIW I got a good deal....I married a whole lot better than she did
 
Sounds sort of like the story of the guy who walked in the bar with a pig under his arm. "Hey, look what I got for my wife he said."

Bartender replied, "You got the best end of the deal."
 
Definition of a bachalor: A man who is crazy to get married...and knows it!!

As Benny Hill says, "Why buy a book when there's a thriving lending library in town?"

I really love your stories Charlie. They bring back memories of my badge toting days, not necessarily fond ones but funny ones.
 
As Benny Hill says, "Why buy a book when there's a thriving lending library in town?"

Because everybody in town has been thumbing through the pages.
 
I know I have it made. I'm not so sure about my Wife however. One of my best friends introduced us the last day of school one summer on the school bus. I was going home with him to hang out for a day or so. I was a sophomore in high school, heading for junior status in a few months. She was um, well, lets say she was a little bit of an underclassman, or classwoman. Anyhow, we were a couple until she graduated. I got out in 1990, she in 1993. Got married two months later. She still puts up with me. Do we get aggravated with each other? Sure, who wouldn't after being together 20+ years and I'm only 36. But, would I trade her for anything else, nah. She tolerates me and comes back home at the end of the day so I can't complain. She even lets me buy guns! Alot! But as for her? That poor, poor woman. I married up, she just, well, married.
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My job is boring compared to Charlies. I kinda like it that way though. I better go and fix a printer now.
 
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