NASCAR Breaking News

2000Z-71

Member
Joined
Feb 22, 2005
Messages
570
Reaction score
90
Location
Eagle River, AK
NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon has announced he has taken advantage of a new "Stimulus Package" program to employ inner-city youth by firing his professional pit crew, and replacing them with ex-gang bangers.

The decision to hire the boys was inspired by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from street gangs were able to remove a set of wheels from a car in less than 6 seconds — even without proper equipment. Gordon's existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds, even with the benefit of hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of high tech machinery.

The scheme was hailed as an "excellent and bold move" by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
 
Register to hide this ad
NASCAR driver Jeff Gordon has announced he has taken advantage of a new "Stimulus Package" program to employ inner-city youth by firing his professional pit crew, and replacing them with ex-gang bangers.

The decision to hire the boys was inspired by a recent documentary on how unemployed youths from street gangs were able to remove a set of wheels from a car in less than 6 seconds — even without proper equipment. Gordon's existing pit crew could only do it in 8 seconds, even with the benefit of hundreds of thousands of dollars' worth of high tech machinery.

The scheme was hailed as an "excellent and bold move" by Gordon's management team, as most races are won or lost in the pits.

At the crew's first practice session, not only was the inexperienced crew able to change all 4 wheels in under 6 seconds, but within 12 seconds they had changed the paint scheme, altered the VIN number, and sold the car to Dale Earnhardt Jr. for 10 cases of Bud, a bag of weed, and photos of Jeff Gordon's wife in the shower.
 
We need the shower pics.
icon_biggrin.gif

He must have used his new pit crew sunday
icon_wink.gif
 
I can't wait to see Gordons car with some 24's on it and those stupid stick on "air vents" for the fenders, can't forget the green christmas tree air freshener and the steering wheel covers! Glad he won at Texas he needed a win, now we have to get Jr. a win he needs the new pit crew!
 
Originally posted by gunnut44:
those stupid stick on "air vents" for the fenders,

I saw some of those on a Mercedes the other day. Right. Buy a Benz, then make it look like a Buick. Some folks have more money than sense.
 
I don't understand why folks pick on Jeff Gordan. It's not nice to be a Homophobe.
 
I also heard rumor that he was sueing Tony Stewart for child support!
icon_confused.gif

.
.
.
.
.
.
 
Originally posted by gunsmith11:
who is this jr. you spoke of

XXXXX

That's Dale's boy. The one that doesn't seem to be able to find his pit or keep his car under teh "pit road" speed limit. The one that fusses at his crew for a mechanical failure, and then makes so many mental errors it is comical.
.
.
.
.
.
 
Back
Top