Realtor Bob Memorial Powerball

[GatorFarmer]

Today is the drawing for the record setting lottery jackpot. I could not help but think back to the late Realtor Bob. He had a theory, well lots of theories, but one was to only play the lottery when it got above 40 million. Any smaller sum was beneath him I suppose.

He would get excited and watch the drawings with great anticipation whenever the threshold was met. He had a simple dream you see... When asked what he wanted to spend the money on, Realtor Bob replied that he would buy a crack rock as big as a house. When I asked what he would do with such a thing, he replied, eyes gleaming in excitement "Smoke it!".

Sadly, Realtor Bob never got to follow through on his retirement plans. A lifetime of drug and alcohol abuse saw him drop dead, at age 61, on a night club dance floor. He died as he lived, drunk and trying to grope much younger women.

So as I bought my own tickets, and thought of what I would do if I won, I decided that I would find out where his pauper's grave is and get him a marble statue of a giant boulder....or maybe just buy a boulder, whatever is cheaper...and affix a plaque reading simply "Realtor Bob". I think he would appreciate that. It would also work towards his theory of zombie resurrection and his fear that those he owed money to....which was everyone...would steal his body, boil it down to a skeleton, and sell his bones to a Mexican medical school.

 

[da gimp]

do those Mexican medical schools pay much for bones? Heck I'm donating mine to a med school here & after a certain period of time... get em back, then cremation of what is left & ashes done with what She wants to do with them...

 

[GatorFarmer]

do those Mexican medical schools pay much for bones? Heck I'm donating mine to a med school here & after a certain period of time... get em back, then cremation of what is left & ashes done with what She wants to do with them...

I do not know. One year, what I called "a very Dicken's Christmas" at the time, Workman Guy was trying to sell the rights to his bones and organs in advance, so as to buy Christmas presents. That was the same year Realtor Bob had taken to eating broken glass, ala a classic carnival act, to fund his Christmas.

I could have gotten a good deal on skeletons that year.

 

[Big Cholla]

Gator: You obviously knew much more unusual people than I ever have. Eating broken glass as a money making venture........I never......

 

[calmex]

do those Mexican medical schools pay much for bones? Heck I'm donating mine to a med school here & after a certain period of time... get em back, then cremation of what is left & ashes done with what She wants to do with them...

Mexican Medical Schools do not "pay" for anything. In fact, if the Monte Python group had been Mexican based instead of English, the whole "Spanish Inquisition" skit would never have existed.

Instead, you'd have the classic distracted diddy-bopper walking along a suburban street. Suddenly, an ambulance would pull up, the doors would open and some really sexy Nurses with bat-girl masks would leap out (in high-heeled shoes, which would never fail to amaze the viewing public with a "how do they DO that???"), shoot buddy up with a syringe and drop him back onto a gurney pushed from the ambulance by some guy in a Doctor's outfit with one of those little mirrors on his head* who would look at the camera and smile as he declared; "NOBODY expects the Mexican Medical School!"

Of course, a laugh-track would play at that point and people would find this hilarious. Although it really isn't.


*20 years ago, I got hit by a bull in the Running of the Bulls. I was photographing it as it charged through a 2X extender and I figured it was further away than it looked. Some idiot was holding onto me from behind like I was a solid door or something he could hide behind and at the last minute when I saw how close Toro was, I pulled away. Toro's shoulder caught me in the left side cracking a couple of ribs but he gored buddy behind me there nicely through the tummy.

The Red Cross boys were there right away and took buddy off on a stretcher (NOBODY expects the Mexican Medical School!), while I lay on my back kicking at Toro until he moved away, and a young kid in a Red Cross hat asked me if I was okay. At first I just thought I had the wind knocked out of me, and told him so, but after a few days I went to see a Doctor about the never-ending pain in my side.

I was new down here then and went to the General Hospital. They put me in a small waiting room that was not well lit and when the Doctor walked in he had one of those little mirrors on his head. I sort of snorted at that, which really hurt (it DOES hurt when you laugh). He gave me some (supposedly) cocaine-based pills that were highly controlled and I felt great until the pills ran out by which time the ribs weren't hurting so much anymore.

Anyway, the mirror on the head thing cracked me up.