One of the many parodies of the Gilbert & Sullivan patter song, "I am the very model of a modern major-general." Don't know when it was written but it seems to be timely.
THE MODERN CYBER-CITIZEN'S SONG. By Marcus Bales.
I am the very model of a modern cyber-netizen
All logic I dispense with, and all taste and manners jettison
I'm found on TV, radio, and many other "medias"
But cyberspace is where I'm most particularly tedious.
I come in every stripe from the conservative to radical
And know it all except for how to spell or be grammatical.
I haven't got a clue about the use of logicality
And drivel on with made-up-factoid bargain-bin banality.
I flame opponents hairless from a dozen different pseudonyms
Each one a ruder, lewder pun on Anglo-Saxon crudonyms
And where I find civility and hot debate have been at ease
I break it up with spamming, flaming, scrolling and obscenities.
I'm ignorant in every field, poetic to statistical,
Which only makes my points of view more thoroughly sophistical.
My attitude's aggressive and my tone is sanctimonious.
My facts are bad, conclusions wrong, and arguments erroneous.
My posts are pure unparagraphed expressions of my vanity
Impossible to parse except perhaps for the profanity.
I'm known for disputatiousness and other sorts of knavery
From purposeful mendacity to things yet more unsavory.
The places civil reason is accounted most iniquitous
Are places where you'll find me inescapably ubiquitous.
In short, all logic I reject, all taste and manners jettison
Because I am the model of a modern cyber-netizen!
I am the very model of a modern cyber-netizen
All logic I dispense with, and all taste and manners jettison
I'm found on TV, radio, and many other "medias"
But cyberspace is where I'm most particularly tedious.
I come in every stripe from the conservative to radical
And know it all except for how to spell or be grammatical.
I haven't got a clue about the use of logicality
And drivel on with made-up-factoid bargain-bin banality.
I flame opponents hairless from a dozen different pseudonyms
Each one a ruder, lewder pun on Anglo-Saxon crudonyms
And where I find civility and hot debate have been at ease
I break it up with spamming, flaming, scrolling and obscenities.
I'm ignorant in every field, poetic to statistical,
Which only makes my points of view more thoroughly sophistical.
My attitude's aggressive and my tone is sanctimonious.
My facts are bad, conclusions wrong, and arguments erroneous.
My posts are pure unparagraphed expressions of my vanity
Impossible to parse except perhaps for the profanity.
I'm known for disputatiousness and other sorts of knavery
From purposeful mendacity to things yet more unsavory.
The places civil reason is accounted most iniquitous
Are places where you'll find me inescapably ubiquitous.
In short, all logic I reject, all taste and manners jettison
Because I am the model of a modern cyber-netizen!
