Todays Smile

[Damn Yankee]

An old blind cowboy wanders into
an all-girl biker bar by mistake...



He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.


After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, 'Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?'

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, 'Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.

2. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.

3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.

4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.

5. The lady to your right is blonde and a
professional wrestler.

'Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy....
Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?'


The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm
gonna have to explain it five times............'

 

[Shooting Padre]

I don't get it.

 

[Nevada Ed]

"....... breath in........breath out."

 

[walkin jack]

Thanks! I love me a good blond joke....

 

[Aticus]

And then the fight started.

 

[Brian41]

Buddy's uncle went into a bar full of women there for a softball turnament. He then thinks what luck and starts hitting on one who's girlfriend comes back from the bathroom and proceeds to clean Mark's clock. He tried to make a complaint with local PD and they laughed him out of the station. I saw him next day and he was quite beaten up with a blackeye and facial cuts. He didn't say if they were blond though.

 

[Fishslayer]

My wife is blond & from Texas.

...a target rich environment is where I live...

 

[carpriver]

Go ahead I am married to a redhead. I have also learned when to lay down the shovel after I have opened my mouth a bit to far.

 

[arjay]

^^ I'm still working on that one [emoji57]

 

[DeathGrip]

My wife is blond & from Texas.

...a target rich environment is where I live...

Ha Ha, I hear you and I raise the bar to blond & from Germany.

...like shooting fish in a barrel

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

My D-I-L is a blond from Germany. The second time she came to dinner, I ask her if there were many spacey blonds in Germany. She had a discussion with my son in German, turned back to me and said, "No. Hitler killed of all of those bloodlines." I guess she is right, my granddaughter is a blond second grader, That speaks Texas dialect English, German (Northern dialect), Texas dialect Spanish, and for some strange reason Cantonese dialect Chinese. Her younger brother is in Kindergarten, has brown hair and only speaks Texas dialect English and Spanish, but seems to understand German just fine when his mom is mad at him! Ivan

 

[shouldazagged]

Cantonese? In the second grade?

Wow. Tell me blondes are dumb!

 

[Texas Star]

Cantonese? In the second grade?

Wow. Tell me blondes are dumb!

Not all. My daughter is blonde and quite bright. And many girls I dated were blonde and hardly dumb. They'd have bored me too soon, otherwise.

My D-I-L is blonde and is a geneticist specializing in advanced cloning research. She's not dumb.

But I still like a good blonde joke. I just have to be careful where I tell one.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

My youngest son was also blonde when a pre-teen. He learned to read Chinese in about the 9th and 10th grades while doing research for artwork. I think he has been coaching his niece. My three oldest (one blonde and two brunets) all had Spanish in Elementary and High School, and were trained to be missionaries anywhere in the Spanish speaking world. My daughter (third child and brunet) did do some missionary work in Chile and Honduras. The granddaughter's dad is my oldest and he was also a pre-teen blonde and speaks Spanish fluently (and German). He has found that being light haired and light eyed, Hispanics assume he can't understand them. My oldest and youngest sons were blonde, and still are the greatest tellers of "dumb blonde" jokes. I had a tenant whose wife was from St. Petersberg, Russia. She was/is blonde and has one of the sharpest, most agile minds I have ever seen. I think many blonde girls/women just play dumb to get free drinks. And in keeping with the joke in post #1, There is a Fed Ex driver in our area who is blonde and has the most beautiful blue eyes, along with a dazzling smile. She is a Women's Semi-Pro Football player. Her biceps are much bigger than mine! Ivan

 

[feralmerril]

I dont give Theresa any lip. She is almost 6ft and if I did her 6ft 4" daughter that looks just like her would clean my clock. I dont stand a chance.

 

[Shooting Padre]

When in high school, my blond daughter took in on the chin many times with the blond jokes, until one day she just had enough. When being teased about her blondness by some boys, she asked one of them, "Do you know how a blond gets pregnant?" When he answered, "No." she replied, "And you think we're dumb!"