Vets, Mil Retirees, Do you have a death checklist?

Bob R

Bob R

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My next door neighbor passed away suddenly a few days ago. He was a retired AF O-5. He was young, 51 years old. He is unmarried and had no kids. He did have a girlfriend for the last 5 months or so.

As far as we can figure out he had no will and had made no prior arrangements as to the disposition of his belongings.

Last night the GF showed up with a U-Haul, some friends and family and started stripping the house. The cops were called, there were words and in the end the stuff was put back. He has family on the west side of the state that is supposed to be here today and in communicating with his sister last night she wanted the GF and friends out of the house. We got them out. My neighbor and I across the street then spent some time changing the garage door code, and the locks on the house. We parked his truck in front of the garage door so his cars could not be removed.

I hate that this is happening, and lot of it could have been avoided if he had just made some prior arrangements.

So, if you do not have a checklist or a will in case you suddenly leave us you need to get one. The will is fairly easy. If you live near a military facility, use their legal. If not spend a few bucks and get one done right.

Here is a common checklist you can use to make sure the ones you leave behind will have some idea of what to do.

[URL="http://www.retirees.af.mil/shared/media/document/AFD-080317-062.pdf"]http://www.retirees.af.mil/shared/media/document/AFD-080317-062.pdf[/URL]

Here is hoping that after you fill this stuff out it will sit and collect dust for a long time.

I am sure some of this info can be used by anyone to record important data, whether a Vet or not.

bob
 
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Oh yea. Down to DETAIL'S on what goes where, and who gets what.
 
My PD made such a list and placed it in a short handout booklet. Has several preprinted letters to SS, VA, etc. One simply fills in the blanks with name, DOB, SS and it's ready to be mailed by surviving family members. I've seen too many idiots who fail to do such needed paperwork and families fight over the smallest items. God forbid the state take control.
 
Some of the worst fights I've seen among families is when someone passes without having a will or directions made. It is confusing, frustrating, and worse of all, divisive to families - a sad, sad situation. People should make sure they are prepared for something none of us will escape.
 
If he was an AF O-5, he was told (and probably told others) a gazillion times to have a will. My money is on, "He had one, but it's well-hidden." I won't bet against the will being out-of-date, leaving everything to an ex-wife (if there is one). (Unmarried doesn't necessarily equal never-married.)
 
I've conducted a lot of funerals. Those families that have the most difficult time are the ones where the deceased either did not, would not or could not bring themselves to deal with their own mortality. It can be so very sad, and in most cases it is possible to make the entire process much easier on loved ones. A up-to-date accurate will is indispensable. Also... be very clear to family and friends as to what you wish for the funeral, etc. It is very difficult for such decisions to be made when no one is clearly in charge or when no one has a good idea as to how to proceed.
 
About 20 years ago a old man came into my GF`s mens clothing store to buy a clean shirt. His cloths were bloody. He was driveing through the area and ran off the road. He left the hospital against the hospitals advice. Old "charley" was about 80+ at the time. He was a batchlor with no kids. He was a retired merchant marine. We took care of him a few weeks and we became close friends. He looked like a poor conservative old guy. Turned out he was a millionair, but everything he owned was in one or two suitecases and a couple cardboard boxs. He drove a ancent suberu that he crashed. Charlie was into stocks heavy. He even had me put his account on my computer! He was very smart and would research things. His MO was to live in sleeping rooms part of the year at long beach calif in winter, when the weather got better spend a few months around reno and then vegas. All in old slum motel rooms.
For a few years he would stop and see us several times a year in his travels and spend several days with us. We got to know each other pretty well. He once told me he had two old sisters on each coast that hated each other. He also told me he wanted to be buried in a veterans cemitary as the law had changed deeming a merchant marine was now eligable to be classified as military veterans and charlie was proud of that! In the 1930s he was once torpedoed and the nazi`s imprisioned him for awhile. He sure hated them!
Shortly after I retired in 2,000 I got a phone call from a hospital in vegas wanting to know if I knew him, he was brought in a coma off the street. They found my phone # on him and no other people to contact.
I made a mistake and told them to treat him good as he was no bum and I was sure he could pay for the best of care. I then drove to vegas to handle his affairs. I found his flop house and got his stuff. In going through it I found a very old will. I wasnt in it, but he had a number of times told I and the GF that he was going to take care of us for our kindness etc. I did find a old brithday card from one sister and called her up. I asked her how to also contact her sister. She let me know she didnt give a d-- about her sister and probley was dead as far as she knew. I knew she had been alive from earlier conversations with charlie and somehow I traced her down also. I hired a lawyer in vegas out of my pocket, knowing I probley would be reimbersed farther down the line. I done that as the hospital was pulling some stuff and I was fighting the hospital. The sister on the east coast was a very old spinster in a rest home with no family either. She was trying to cut out her sister and wouldnt even give me a last known adress. I told her charlies wish was to be buried in a veterans cemetary, but she had him cremated. I spent about 5 weeks going back and forth to vegas to be with charlie. He was in and out of comas. Finaly on my last trip he died as I entered. The other sister later sent me a thank you card and a $1,000s. I had his financhial life on my computer and know I saved her over a half million dollars. Still havent personaly met her.
 
feralmerril said:
About 20 years ago a old man came into my GF`s mens clothing store to buy a clean shirt. His cloths were bloody. He was driveing through the area and ran off the road. He left the hospital against the hospitals advice. Old "charley" was about 80+ at the time. He was a batchlor with no kids. He was a retired merchant marine. We took care of him a few weeks and we became close friends. He looked like a poor conservative old guy. Turned out he was a millionair, but everything he owned was in one or two suitecases and a couple cardboard boxs. He drove a ancent suberu that he crashed. Charlie was into stocks heavy. He even had me put his account on my computer! He was very smart and would research things. His MO was to live in sleeping rooms part of the year at long beach calif in winter, when the weather got better spend a few months around reno and then vegas. All in old slum motel rooms.
For a few years he would stop and see us several times a year in his travels and spend several days with us. We got to know each other pretty well. He once told me he had two old sisters on each coast that hated each other. He also told me he wanted to be buried in a veterans cemitary as the law had changed deeming a merchant marine was now eligable to be classified as military veterans and charlie was proud of that! In the 1930s he was once torpedoed and the nazi`s imprisioned him for awhile. He sure hated them!
Shortly after I retired in 2,000 I got a phone call from a hospital in vegas wanting to know if I knew him, he was brought in a coma off the street. They found my phone # on him and no other people to contact.
I made a mistake and told them to treat him good as he was no bum and I was sure he could pay for the best of care. I then drove to vegas to handle his affairs. I found his flop house and got his stuff. In going through it I found a very old will. I wasnt in it, but he had a number of times told I and the GF that he was going to take care of us for our kindness etc. I did find a old brithday card from one sister and called her up. I asked her how to also contact her sister. She let me know she didnt give a d-- about her sister and probley was dead as far as she knew. I knew she had been alive from earlier conversations with charlie and somehow I traced her down also. I hired a lawyer in vegas out of my pocket, knowing I probley would be reimbersed farther down the line. I done that as the hospital was pulling some stuff and I was fighting the hospital. The sister on the east coast was a very old spinster in a rest home with no family either. She was trying to cut out her sister and wouldnt even give me a last known adress. I told her charlies wish was to be buried in a veterans cemetary, but she had him cremated. I spent about 5 weeks going back and forth to vegas to be with charlie. He was in and out of comas. Finaly on my last trip he died as I entered. The other sister later sent me a thank you card and a $1,000s. I had his financhial life on my computer and know I saved her over a half million dollars. Still havent personaly met her.
Click to expand...



WOW! Very interesting story.
 
I'm 38. I have very specific instructions, and most of my valuable stuff is in a living trust, the executor of which has specific instructions should I die or become missing for more than 24 months.
one of those things you have to do, and best to do when you don't NEED to do it.
 
My money is on, "He had one, but it's well-hidden." I won't bet against the will being out-of-date, leaving everything to an ex-wife (if there is one). (Unmarried doesn't necessarily equal never-married.)
Click to expand...

For one thing, we do know there is no present or ex-wifes lurking about. As for the will, I believe, as does my other neighbor, that he has a will somewhere. He was very organized, kept track of things, and had deployed more than once.

All of that tells us he has a will, the family just needs to find it.

I would bet that if the GF and others had not tried to strip the house last night she could have probably gotten whatever she wanted. Now because of the way they invaded that house and started pillaging the sister wants to press attempted burglary charges against them.

bob
 
Got all of it.
Wills, Living Wills, Power of attorney.
Resting place will be National Cemetary.
Executor has all the insurance policy numbers and addresses and all financial accounts.

If I left anything out ...too bad.


AFS
 
In a straight ozzie and harriet nelson type family probley there isnt any fighting. You know, no 2nd marrages or step brothers etc. I was raised that way and it was just me and my sister. We have our differances but when it came to the estate after our parents passed we didnt disagree at all.
The trouble comes with the disfunctional type marrages, resulting from all the divorices and 2nd, 3rd marrages that is the far more norm nowdays. And by the way, I am part of that myself now.
 
Aside from the obvious necessity of a will, in the case mentioned the 5 month GF needs to be tarred and feathered and given a buzz cut. Golddiggers like this are always lurking around looking for a sucker to vicitimize.
 
The problem with this and most situations reported in life is we are getting the slant from one person. Now if someone in the know or favor of the other party tells their side FIRST the view or side we jump to could well be 180 degrees.
 
It might be a good thing to contact larger banks in your area that have trust departments.
My wife and I have no children so have our wills at a local larger bank and name them as trustees to handle them. Their charges are modest and maybe up to 10% of your estate.
But if we both were to die together no one would know until they made contact with the bank or got into our safe and find copies there. Family know this and have access to the safe but could forget under the circumstances.
Possibly your neighbor made similar arrangements, good luck and you sound like a good neighbor and friend.
 
I have left very specific instructions as to where all my assets are, and have a trust and a will to provide for my children/grandchildren. Of course they will find I spent almost all of it on women, booze and neat cars. The rest I just wasted.
 
AKAOV1MAN said:
I have left very specific instructions as to where all my assets are, and have a trust and a will to provide for my children/grandchildren. Of course they will find I spent almost all of it on women, booze and neat cars. The rest I just wasted.
Click to expand...

S&W doesn't even get honorable mention?
 
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