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Old 05-30-2012, 10:53 AM
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sipowicz sipowicz is offline
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Default Bad day...

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making Biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.

"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!

But, Hell, enough about me, how are you feeling ?"
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:16 AM
M29since14 M29since14 is offline
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An oldie but a goodie.
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:30 AM
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An oldie but a goodie.
Sip or the joke ?
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:33 AM
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Hollywood, Nothing but re runs and re makes

Leave a note on your drink when you go to the head. "I spit in my drink", Come back and the note says, "So did I"

Bada Bing!
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Old 05-30-2012, 11:41 AM
M29since14 M29since14 is offline
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Sip or the joke ?
What would we do without our friend from glitz-city?
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Old 05-30-2012, 12:11 PM
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"He's not much of a driver either. He just ran over a whole line of Harleys parked outside."

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Old 05-30-2012, 12:24 PM
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Sip,
I remember that joint...Shotgun Willie's -Laurel, Montana, right?


Su Amigo,
Dave
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Old 05-30-2012, 02:15 PM
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"He's not much of a driver either. He just ran over a whole line of Harleys parked outside."

That's OK he has the BADGE
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Old 05-30-2012, 05:22 PM
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A guy pulls in his Honda to the bar and parked it among the choppers. He went inside and had a few shots of whiskey at the counter. He went outside and saw that some joker painted his Honda seat yellow.

He went back inside and said, "Ok, who's the wise guy that painted my bike seat yellow?"

A 6 foot 5 and 280 lb biker stood up and said, "I did! What ya gonna do about it?"

The guy said, "I think it's ready for a second coat."
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Old 05-30-2012, 07:27 PM
pharman pharman is offline
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Talking Joke in church

Ha! My Priest told this joke Sunday at Mass! Pretty good one!
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Old 05-31-2012, 11:43 AM
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Sip,
I remember that joint...Shotgun Willie's -Laurel, Montana, right?


Su Amigo,
Dave
Nice place to tip a few....great atmosphere.
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Old 05-31-2012, 01:14 PM
feralmerril feralmerril is offline
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Sip, that one reminds me of this version:"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."
And then I was walking across the street to church to ask why all this is happening to me, got hit by a car. I dragged myself into church and asked God why all this is happening to me. The sky clouded up, it got real dim and I heard this booming voice, "Son, I dont know just what it is, but theres just something about you that I dont like!"
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