|
|
05-30-2012, 10:53 AM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Gun lovin\' Hollywood Ca.
Posts: 10,238
Likes: 7,741
Liked 18,707 Times in 3,792 Posts
|
|
Bad day...
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making Biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."
"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, Hell, enough about me, how are you feeling ?"
__________________
Thirty characters. Exactly...
|
The Following 31 Users Like Post:
|
410bore, A10, BaldEagle1313, BE Mike, blackdeuce, bobcat, BrianE, bshepherd, DeathGrip, Fishslayer, Frank46, Indiana George, jimmyj, keith44spl, Kwjj, LouisianaJoe, LTC, Mickey D, mstuhr, NYlakesider, old bear, PA Reb, Qball, revolver74, Stonecove, Strato, Stu1205, TACC1, tacreload, WC145, WrongWay |
05-30-2012, 11:16 AM
|
SWCA Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11,967
Likes: 10,165
Liked 10,150 Times in 4,812 Posts
|
|
An oldie but a goodie.
|
05-30-2012, 11:30 AM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: WV
Posts: 3,614
Likes: 528
Liked 4,567 Times in 1,039 Posts
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by M29since14
An oldie but a goodie.
|
Sip or the joke ?
__________________
Qui plantavit curabit
|
The Following User Likes This Post:
|
|
05-30-2012, 11:33 AM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 22,095
Likes: 10,805
Liked 15,530 Times in 6,807 Posts
|
|
Hollywood, Nothing but re runs and re makes
Leave a note on your drink when you go to the head. "I spit in my drink", Come back and the note says, "So did I"
Bada Bing!
__________________
Still Running Against the Wind
|
05-30-2012, 11:41 AM
|
SWCA Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Indiana
Posts: 11,967
Likes: 10,165
Liked 10,150 Times in 4,812 Posts
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by NFrameFred
Sip or the joke ?
|
What would we do without our friend from glitz-city?
|
The Following User Likes This Post:
|
|
05-30-2012, 12:11 PM
|
US Veteran Absent Comrade
|
|
|
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: San Diego, PRK
Posts: 9,237
Likes: 11,531
Liked 11,249 Times in 3,916 Posts
|
|
"He's not much of a driver either. He just ran over a whole line of Harleys parked outside."
|
05-30-2012, 12:24 PM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Oct 2008
Location: Red River Valley
Posts: 7,693
Likes: 13,052
Liked 28,619 Times in 5,154 Posts
|
|
Sip,
I remember that joint...Shotgun Willie's -Laurel, Montana, right?
Su Amigo,
Dave
__________________
"IN GOD WE TRUST"
|
The Following 2 Users Like Post:
|
|
05-30-2012, 02:15 PM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Florida
Posts: 22,095
Likes: 10,805
Liked 15,530 Times in 6,807 Posts
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fishslayer
"He's not much of a driver either. He just ran over a whole line of Harleys parked outside."
|
That's OK he has the BADGE
__________________
Still Running Against the Wind
|
05-30-2012, 05:22 PM
|
|
Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,063
Likes: 0
Liked 526 Times in 288 Posts
|
|
A guy pulls in his Honda to the bar and parked it among the choppers. He went inside and had a few shots of whiskey at the counter. He went outside and saw that some joker painted his Honda seat yellow.
He went back inside and said, "Ok, who's the wise guy that painted my bike seat yellow?"
A 6 foot 5 and 280 lb biker stood up and said, "I did! What ya gonna do about it?"
The guy said, "I think it's ready for a second coat."
__________________
_It was love at first shot_
|
The Following User Likes This Post:
|
|
05-30-2012, 07:27 PM
|
SWCA Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Northwest Ohio
Posts: 2,200
Likes: 5,919
Liked 2,680 Times in 1,026 Posts
|
|
Joke in church
Ha! My Priest told this joke Sunday at Mass! Pretty good one!
|
05-31-2012, 11:43 AM
|
|
SWCA Member
|
|
|
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sadly, Seattle WA
Posts: 10,626
Likes: 22,947
Liked 10,372 Times in 4,304 Posts
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by keith44spl
Sip,
I remember that joint...Shotgun Willie's -Laurel, Montana, right?
Su Amigo,
Dave
|
Nice place to tip a few....great atmosphere.
__________________
Even older, even crankier....
|
05-31-2012, 01:14 PM
|
Absent Comrade
|
|
|
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: utah
Posts: 13,059
Likes: 2,547
Liked 7,201 Times in 3,064 Posts
|
|
Sip, that one reminds me of this version:"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me."
And then I was walking across the street to church to ask why all this is happening to me, got hit by a car. I dragged myself into church and asked God why all this is happening to me. The sky clouded up, it got real dim and I heard this booming voice, "Son, I dont know just what it is, but theres just something about you that I dont like!"
|
|
Posting Rules
|
|
|
|
|