Phrases you like to use!

With respect to managers at work: "So-n-so couldn't run a lemon aid stand."

At break time: "I have to use the men's room, can I get you anything while I'm there?"
 
"It's like watching a cave man using a camcorder."

"Hey, the Titanic was a party until it hit the iceberg."

"You got no idea how little I care."

"You look like something that came out of the northbound end of a southbound horse."

"I wouldn't trust him to sit the right way on a toilet seat."

"He could not hit water if he fell out of a boat."
 
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I slept like a baby last night...cried and wet the bed.


What doesn't hurt, doesn't work.

If I had my choice, I would be rich instead of so darn good looking...but it really hurts to be neither.


I'm not fat, I'm a motivational example for skinny people.
 
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A few that were used at home around the family:

"He / She knows as much about ________ as a pig does a parade". (Dad)

"You'll go to hell for lie'n as well as steal'n". (Mom)

"If BS was music, he'd be a brass band". (Grandpop)


LTC
 
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In response to the idiots line "I could tell you, but then I would have to kill you" : Hey don't go thinking your the first to try it, you ain't exactly getting a virgin in that department.
 
Chester, on an early episode of Marshall Dillon, said one that I'll probably use in the future.

"I've seen people who've been kicked in the head that makes more sense than he does."
 
When talking guns and using them on or off duty, mine are:
1. There are no second place winners.....coined by Bill Jordan
2. A dead man cannot testify against you in court.....
 
After being cut off twice and nearly hit once I was expressing my dismay at a woman's lack of driving skills:

She: I think you are rude!

Me: I think you are stupid. Now assuming we are both correct, tomorrow I have the option of being polite.
 
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