Were you bullied as a Child or Adult.

[Arik]

Is bulling some thing that has developed in the last few years or has it been going on forever?

I was picked on twice. Once in Jr. high school and once in high school. In junior high I was a new 7th grader and a 8th grader thought he was some kind of special person and got off on making underclassmen cry. He targeted me in the hall away before class. He started pushing and poking me calling my names (sissy boy). I didn't cry, I have an older brother that was better at getting me to cry then this guy. When I didn't give him what he wanted he told me he would break me.

My big brother heard about the kid picking on me. When I got home my brother was waiting for me. I told me if I didn't stand up for myself this guy would make my life miserable.
The next morning at my locker the kid and his friends came for me. He came up and started poking me; I pulled back my arm and swung my fist and hit the kid in his left ear. A teacher saw the conflict and we were taken to the principals office. No one was expelled. We did have to spend our lunch time in the office for a week. We never did become friends but he didn't bother me either.

When I started the 10th grade a week or 2 into the new school year one kid didn't like me, don't know way. I was the new kid in school as my family moved across the state because of my dads job.

This kid ambushed me as I was getting on the bus to go home. He hit me in the back of the head with I think was his fist. The next day at school I saw him standing across the street from school smoking. I when across the street and when he turned to look in my direction I hit him as hard as I could in the nose. He went to his knees and the blood poured out of his nose. I walked back to school. We never became friends and he never bothered me again. I took my brother advice and it worked for me.

How did you handle your bully?

What is the best way to deal with the problem of bullying?

How long ago was this? I have never seen "poking". I have seen lots of verbal bullying and ive been on the receiving end of a lot of them. However, when it come to physical bullying it was more like a punch to the back of the head, face smashed into locker, a few knifings, 5-6 large guys stomping on one or two. Ive been on a receiving end of those too. You can say what you want but when you are 5'11 150lbs and 17 years old and getting stomped by a 6'3 220lbs 17 year old with a full on mountain man beard swing all you want it doesnt help. Ive been in a few of these. He hits you, you break his nose, he breaks your arm...Its not "the bigger they are the harder they fall" more correct would be "the bigger they are the harder they hit"



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[UncaGrunny]

Bullies have been around longer than people - - 'bullying' behavior is well-known among many social primates, & other species too. "Pecking order," you know.

" In our world, you were either a bully, a toady, or one of the nameless rabble of victims!" - A Christmas Story

I was a fat kid for much of my youth. Naturally, I was bullied.

Then around 7th grade my Dad decided that Judo lessons were in order - - his reasoning was that most schoolyard fights start with a couple punches but end up as wrestling matches.

I waited until I'd made Green Belt before it was time to alter the equation; they didn't reach advanced submission holds & chokes until then.

The bullying stopped rather abruptly; it wasn't too common for a schoolyard fight to end up with the instigator unconscious at the time.

I had a couple detentions & one suspension to cope with, and my father's approval of my tactics.

Nowadays, he'd probably get sued for making me 'dangerous' or some such nonsense.

 

[Old TexMex]

I can't talk about being bullied without getting political, so we'll let 'er go at that.

 

[BillK01]

I was bullied during school from about 5th grade onward all the way through my senior year.

I was fat in school and that was the beginning. I hated every single moment of school from 5th grade to my graduation day. As a result I even hated college - although there was no bullying there.

My folks confronted the parents of one of the bullies in my neighborhood probably when I was in about 4th grade - before the in-school bullying started (the bully was like 2-3 years older than me at the time) - and that even made it worse. I begged them to just not say anything from then on - as that confrontation intensified the neighborhood bullying.

The only time I ever personally fought back was one time during homeroom in 9th grade when during the pledge of allegiance one particular bully smacked me across the back of my neck . I snapped - turned around and grabbed him by the neck and ran him backwards between the row of chairs and slammed him into the lockers on the wall. He never bothered me again - however - the rest of the bullies just ganged up on me and bullied me all the more for the rest of the year. Funny thing is the teacher never said a word when it all went down.

My vindication was when I went to my 10 year high school reunion (well it was the 11th really since the folks planning it "forgot" about the 10 year) many year years ago. All the bullies (mostly the jocks and "in crowd") who abused me were now all fat alcoholics and had done nothing whatsoever with their lives while I had lost my excess weight, got contacts, scored a beautiful and hot wife, taken up martial arts and had my own business. No one even recognized me - and most still don't. I still see a few around town to this day and they all act like they're my best friend when they do realize it's me - I just let it slide, smile, say hello and keep my distance while they continue to hold up their barstools.

To this day I'm still best friends with 2 of my best friends from high school. Of the 3 of us - 2 were bullied (1 flew under the radar somehow) and we've all done pretty well with our lives. I guess the old saying "Living well is the best revenge" tends to hold true.

I only wish I'd have stood up for myself more when it was happening. That's the only real way to stop it in my mind. Oh well...hindsight's 20/20.

 

[duppie]

I was bullied during school from about 5th grade onward all the way through my senior year.

I was fat in school and that was the beginning. I hated every single moment of school from 5th grade to my graduation day. As a result I even hated college - although there was no bullying there.

My folks confronted the parents of one of the bullies in my neighborhood probably when I was in about 4th grade - before the in-school bullying started (the bully was like 2-3 years older than me at the time) - and that even made it worse. I begged them to just not say anything from then on - as that confrontation intensified the neighborhood bullying.

The only time I ever personally fought back was one time during homeroom in 9th grade when during the pledge of allegiance one particular bully smacked me across the back of my neck . I snapped - turned around and grabbed him by the neck and ran him backwards between the row of chairs and slammed him into the lockers on the wall. He never bothered me again - however - the rest of the bullies just ganged up on me and bullied me all the more for the rest of the year. Funny thing is the teacher never said a word when it all went down.

My vindication was when I went to my 10 year high school reunion (well it was the 11th really since the folks planning it "forgot" about the 10 year) many year years ago. All the bullies (mostly the jocks and "in crowd") who abused me were now all fat alcoholics and had done nothing whatsoever with their lives while I had lost my excess weight, got contacts, scored a beautiful and hot wife, taken up martial arts and had my own business. No one even recognized me - and most still don't. I still see a few around town to this day and they all act like they're my best friend when they do realize it's me - I just let it slide, smile, say hello and keep my distance while they continue to hold up their barstools.

To this day I'm still best friends with 2 of my best friends from high school. Of the 3 of us - 2 were bullied (1 flew under the radar somehow) and we've all done pretty well with our lives. I guess the old saying "Living well is the best revenge" tends to hold true.

Wasn't that a movie script?

 

[BillK01]

Wasn't that a movie script?

haha - I guess it could be.

 

[30-30remchester]

Think about how many times you are bullied by your own government and bureaucrats. I witness this quite often in our local community. A friend built a small home for rental income and he was assaulted by massive regulation. Nothing to do with heath or safety. I witness this many times in many different instances by bureaucrats. I myself have just been informed that my building, that has been their since 1947, and has 2 garage doors, will have trees planted in front of my doors and public parking. When I protested they just blew me off and said that it was going to happen and deal with it. Im not worried about the bully that bloodies my nose, it those guys in higher office that think they know what is better for me than I do, that gets my dander up.

 

[shouldazagged]

I've been in one fight since I was thirteen, and I was in my sixties at the time. In school I was skinny as a rail, all elbows and Adam's apple, but didn't get picked on enough to remember much. I was good at keeping them laughing; and if pushed to the point of boiling over, apparently my rage made people think I was homicidal and they usually backed off.

Sometimes a gallon bucket gets a gallon in it.

I don't see the connection mentioned above between kids getting away with physical bullying and the cyber-bullying so prevalent today. The terrible thing about the online stuff is that it can be done anonymously and inflict much more pain than a beating, and can't really be fought. It goes on Facebook or Twitter or MySpace, and it's out there: false rumors, vicious ridicule, stolen or photoshopped images, and on and on. A conscienceless, hateful kid who would never dare attempt physical confrontation can ruin a child's reputation and trash his or her self-esteem. Little girls who aren't considered cute or cool by the girls of the self-ordained in crowd can be brutally persecuted by those young "ladies". A boy who is shy and studious can find his little world now is buzzing with online rumors that he's gay. And since these children can't prove who is doing this evil stuff, just going and beating the hell out of someone is rarely a solution.

It's a whole new "technological marvel" of bullying, much harder to fight. It goes on all the time. It can be cruel beyond belief, and like all bullying it's usually directed at the ones perceived to be the easy victims.

And none of this even touches on the gang activity in and around the schools. Sure, kids have always formed gangs. But now they're deep in the drug business and armed, quite prepared to kill.

There isn't enough money in the world to pay me to go back to being fourteen today, even knowing what I know now. Especially knowing what I know now.

 

[old bear]

I developed an approach to life. Always respect everyone until they prove to you that they do not deserve respect.

Short and sweet, a great way to live your life.

AA+1....

 

[vigil617]

The tired old "we're raising a generation of wusses" rings just as hollow as it always has.

Think about the teens and 20-somethings who are going back to Southwest Asia time and time and time again, guys. Now tell me we're raising a generation of wimps who won't stand up for themselves.

Those of you who stood up for yourselves way back when, and stood down a bully (or busted his face), well, good for you. Seriously.

Those of you who didn't ever stand up to one, and still might be wondering why, you're not by yourselves by any means. On the other hand, not ever having been suspended from school (or expelled) has probably helped take you farther in life, and maybe it also indicates that you're willing to hold your temper and keep a cool head instead of lashing out. That, too, is a good life lesson.

No, I don't remember ever being bullied. Nor do I remember ever bullying anone, either. Compared to what I read here, I must have had the most idyllic childhood and adolesence ever. Or maybe where I grew up, people for the most part acted like human beings and not packs of animals preying on the (perceived) weak and helpless.

And yes, childhood today is a different ballgame with the cyberbullying aspect of it, and the generally meaner-all-around society we live in today, with its profanity and coarseness and self-centeredness. Otherwise, it would be pretty much the same as it was when we were coming up.

 

[vytoland]

bullying is nothing new, been around forever.......

in grade school (1950's) the boys got slapped on a regular basis by the Dominican nuns; in high school (1960's), the football team was the tough bunch, their victims had shirt buttons ripped off, shoes scuffed up and were thrown to the ground...

 

[zzzippper]

Only by my parents who were (are) alcoholic abusers, physically when they were younger and emotionally when the got old. And by my oldest brother who has always been a p***k.

 

[tonyc1726]

I was, so instead of fighting back, I became the guy who everyone picked on. Even those kids who I could pick on made fun of me. My friend was at and a few other guys were at this girls birthday party. Mathew, my buddy, said that this tough guy wanted to see me. I was eating a piece of cake using a plastic knife. As a joke, I said out loud, he better not, "I got a knife". My good buddy runs to the tough guy and tells him what I said only he leaves out the plastic part. Now all the neighborhood is telling me to hide. I didn't but I took the easy way out and told this older guy who was my cousin and the toughest guy around. The bullying stopped but at a cost. I became the jellyfish of the neighborhood. Even my cousin lost any respect he may have had for me. I was 15 and no girl would even look at me. Nothing ever came of that but I'm still embarrassed by it and that was 55 years ago. Life goes on. At 17, I joined the Marine Corp and at 21 joined the Police Department. I've been in some very dangerous situations and although I was scared, I was able to get past that and do what was needed to get the job done. Go figure!

 

[the ringo kid]

I got bullied at almost every grade level.

In first grade getting kicked in the face down a slide was the last straw after continual and incessant harassment. I cornered him in a tire house and slapped him around. He cried and begged for me to leave him alone. He never so much as looked me in the face again.

Several years later a big A-hole threatened me daily. He cornered me in the locker room and as soon as he told me he was going to beat me up I punched him, got him on the ground and kept hitting him until he started crying. He was so tall I had to practically jump to land that first swing on him. I got a standing ovation from my classmates for that one.

In middle school one of the "bad kids" loved to poke fun at me, push me around, and take my glasses. In a fit of rage I picked him up and put him in a trash can. Fed up with his antics, anytime he put his hands on me I'd punch him in the head. He tried to jump me with a few friends after school. I hit him in the gut like my life depended on it and he went down. When I asked who was next his friends (all older and bigger...any of them could've probably got the better of me) told me they had "no beef" with me.

In junior high a big football player would get more brazen with me every day. I figured I'd have to fight him eventually and prepared myself mentally for it (also thought I'd take a good licking). He slapped me in the face one day out of the blue, and seemed to think it was pretty funny. I told him that if he was looking for a fight he had one. He backed down, apologized, and said he wasn't looking to fight. That surprised me. He never got physical with me again.

In high school a kid that loved gaining notoriety through fights was making a lot of derogatory and inflammatory remarks behind my back. We met in the hall between classes with predictable results. After a shoving match he was loosing I got punched in the jaw. I returned a blow to his eye and he then ran away from me. As the fight was over, I grabbed him and threw him around until a couple of jocks broke it up by tackling the both of us. We were interrogated by the chemistry teacher where he started crying. The teacher felt we'd both learned some and let us be.

Keep in mind through all these years I was scrawnier and shorter than most girls my age. I was quiet and had no friends so people assumed I was an easy target. I was no tough guy, just determined to fight it out rather than get pushed around. Most teachers seemed amused to see the little guy on top and I never got in trouble for it.

I was not totally innocent. I would beat up a French foreign exchange student that would not stop belittling me verbally. He never really fought back, and unfortunately never shut up.

I also shoved a hemophiliac in first grade that was used to being able to say whatever derogatory comments he wanted to whomever he pleased due to his condition. My teacher gave me a stern talk over that one. He never smacked talked me again, which I felt was worth it. It was literally, non stop until that point.

For the most part, I was a scrawny loser. I liked to draw, liked science, and preferred to keep to myself. When I liked the class and the teacher I'd get good grades, too.

Your story is kinda like mine. Reading yours reminded me of a few more. Same thing with liking certain subjects and such--I got the best grades in History, Spelling and such but--loathed Science. I hated drawing Amoebas and usually wound up just chewing gum instead opting to take a zero on the drawing.

 

[kozmic]

My older bothers threw me in a commercial front load dryer at a laundromat for a "spin". They actually stole the quarter from me to turn it on. Does that count?

 

[the ringo kid]

Because i am disabled i was bullied in school i was also picked on because of my last name i got in 2 fights the first fight i won.

the second fight was broken up before i could finish the job and the bully and i got hauled down to the dean's office i got chewed out by the dean. The bully got detention.

I was also bullied at 2 different jobs and i was forced to resign because the bullying was so bad.

I wouldnt pick on anyone with the last name of .357--unless my name was "Barrett."

 

[the ringo kid]

I was a freshman in High School. My 2nd period class was Ag. Only 3 of us were "fish" the rest were all Seniors. The Ag teacher looked so tough it looked like he could "lick" an entire Platoon by himself-no kidding. Well, after about 7 months of bullying from a guy I still loathe by the name of Robert--would do all kinds of things like, tip my desk over spilling all my stuff all over the place-to all kinds of bodily insults etc as well as picked on the other two "fish" and always making the girl cry.

Well, in the last month before school let out for summer, one of our classroom things was to bring in a 2x4 for learning how to saw with, and one morning I brought mine in--I was the first one there, and then Robert came in and started his **** with me. He ran over and took my 2x4 and hid it somewhere in the huge building while I was using the latrine. I came out and everyone in the class was there with their 2x4s waiting for Mr. Czernochek to come in, and I was looking for my 2x4 and ralized that *** Robert-took mine and hid it.

Well the teacher was running late by I guess 5 minutes or so--so I went up to Robert telling him to give me my 2x4 back. All I got was kidding with his upperclassmen friends and laughed at. Well, the teacher finally arrived but went to his office for whatever reason telling up to stop yakking so loud.

Robert grabbed my 2x4--was standing in the rafters of the building as it was about 3 stories high, threw my 2x4 hitting the concrete and shattering the end of it. Everyone laughed while Robert climbed down from the rafters and he didnt see me gram by ruined 2x4 and I took it and swung full force wanting to smash his head in. I missed and Roberts eyes were big as saucers and I chased him around the shop (like Moe chasing Curly) swinging that 2x4 in the process. The teacher by that time came out roaring at what in the F is going on-and saw me swinging the 2x4 and would have hit Robert square in the face has the teacher not blocked the swing with his forearm. I hit his arm as hard as I could (intending to hit Robert and not the teacher) and i didnt phase him any. He was ticked to no end-grabbed Robert and me by the arms and marched us to his office where we spent the 2 hours by ourselves. Im guessing it was to get us to knock off our differences or something??

Anyway, I refused to start any parlay--and Robert actually did when he remarked that he never expected me to want to kill him. I looked at him but said nothing. Robert was never sincere about anything except with the "going with the flow bullying" since he was never a leader of anything. Well, the 2 hrs were up and we were let out to go to 3rd period class.

Robert was the only one to speak the whole time knowing I hated his guts. I could tell Robert was scared to by me not saying anything. I never spoke a word to him again and he always seemed to want to leave Ag class--by the door on the other side of the building the opposite direction I knew he needed to go in. After that, none of the seniors ever tried anything with me--even though I was never a tough guy.

 

[finesse_r]

I think in all groups of children and most groups of men there are some that try to intimidate or bully others. These people are sometimes referred to as bullies.

However there is a difference from the occasional and random type of bullying to the specific and systematic type of bullying. Just as chickens in a group quickly establish a pecking order, children do the same thing. In every flock chickens there is one that pecks the heads of all the other chickens, and one that pecks the heads of all but the top chicken, on down the line to one that is pecked by all the other chickens and gets to peck none of the other chickens (thus the term pecking order). To some extend this same type of thing takes place in our schools as children vie to establish their version of a pecking order. This is not what I consider bullying. This is just normal behavior.

Bullying to me or at least the problematic bullying is where one person or a group of people bully or pick on one or more children over an extended period of time. It is chronic in nature and not part of the normal social interaction of conflict among all children.

Certainly there were bully types in the public schools that I attended and I had my butt kicked more than once by older and bigger and meaner kids. Still I was never the victim of systematic or specific bullying where one or a few bullies pick on the same person over an extended period of time. Nor did I see that type of bullying in any of the public schools I attended.

Of course I attended school prior to integration. So there was a very homogeneous community in the schools, and there were strong Christian morals and values that were reinforced by families and schools. In addition teachers, especially coaches, were not adverse to spanking the bottoms of those that got too unruly. Gang activity existed, but was rare and very unorganized. There were a few what we called thugs, but they had to be careful as they were seriously out numbered. If there were any drugs in the schools I never saw them or heard of them.

Part of the socialization process of children that is provided by families, schools, and other institutions is to teach children not to do these things and to teach children how to deal with such situations.

Today you have integrated schools and very heterogeneous communities in the schools, with very weak Christian morals and values being poorly reinforced. Add to that the introduction of drugs and massive gang activities, and many more thugs, and you have a situation ripe for bullying.

The only way to get rid of it is to reverse the last 60 years of political and social "so-called progress."

 

[Foodfuzz]

I grew up in the fifties and sixties. When I was in sixth grade I had to get glasses and braces. I became a "four eyed metal mouth." I had a target on my back after that. My dad told me that most bullies like to pick on someone smaller or different because it makes them feel better about themselves and they think they can do it because there won't be any consequences. He was a WWII vet and advised me that if it happened, to always make sure there were consequences for the other fella.


He said it would be like the dog chasing the porcupine. He might think he wants it but if he catches it he's not going to enjoy the experience. Made sense to me. I did get my skinny four eyed metal mouth butt kicked a few times but, I always brought some pain with me for the other guy. I got bigger and in high school only had one experience in wood shop class where I whacked a guy in the mouth with a hand held cleaning brush. I got suspended , but, didn't get pushed into the floor mounted hand washer to be doused with soap and water. Also was never bothered by that guy again. I suppose bullying will always be with us, but, it does seem to be at a more extreme level. That could be because I'm looking at it from "the good old days."

 

[wamalo]

The monumental difference with bullying today is that any single incident never goes away. It is constantly re-lived by all via posted videos and ubiquitous links to them. It is never lived down or forgotten either by the person who was bullied/humiliated or by outsiders looking to find pleasure in the misfortune of another.

The incident at the playground, in the classroom, etc. in May of 1959 only lasted a brief time. It was only talked about while it was fresh in the memory of those who saw it, regardless of the outcome or what changes took place among the participants as a result of the incident. Today, the incident is usually planned so that video cameras can roll and make it a recurring event for everyone.

Perhaps I'm wrong, but while today's youth have many, many advantages, they face a much more difficult time growing up than we ever did.