What to do on an internet date...
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David LaPell
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Hey, internet dating is fun, you expect to meet the woman of your dreams and then she turns into something nightmares are made of. Nothing like someone advertising themselves as a fox, and instead they turn out to be something ugly enough to knock a buzzard off of a trash truck at 50 paces.
Rick_A
Member
I was really lucky with that stuff. Had the time of my life with one gal, met the love of my life with another.
LVSteve
Member
I've been on some Internet dates and been told by women "You look exactly like your pictures"... in a puzzled tone of voice.
So I ask them if this is a good thing, and it seems it is. Every one of them had a story about a guy or guys they had met who were using pictures from when they were 35 and went to the gym. Now they are broken cube rats in their late 40s or 50s, things are not so hot.
Then there are those who simply lie about their age, but the girls are guilty of that too, if not more so.
So I ask them if this is a good thing, and it seems it is. Every one of them had a story about a guy or guys they had met who were using pictures from when they were 35 and went to the gym. Now they are broken cube rats in their late 40s or 50s, things are not so hot.Then there are those who simply lie about their age, but the girls are guilty of that too, if not more so.
HOUSTON RICK
Member
Fortunately, I was married before all the internet stuff started. If this one does not work out, I am not buying again. Strictly rentals. I do not have the energy left to try to train another one.
My brother in law has used internet dating extensively and has five failed marriages to prove his expertise. Women have a website warning each other of lousy men, but they don't all read it before they make a mistake. I am told that my brother in law has his own section on that website including one of his mug shots. Shame is, that poor sixth victim is out there just waiting for him.
My brother in law has used internet dating extensively and has five failed marriages to prove his expertise. Women have a website warning each other of lousy men, but they don't all read it before they make a mistake. I am told that my brother in law has his own section on that website including one of his mug shots. Shame is, that poor sixth victim is out there just waiting for him.
David LaPell
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My wife asked me not long ago if I would ever get remarried. I'm not sure about the response being correct when I came back with "Hell no." After a strange look on her part and figuring since I had dug the hole deep enough I might as well try for China, I added. "It took me long enough to find one that can cook I don't want to train another." I have to admit though, the couch is more comfortable than I remember.
CAJUNLAWYER
Member
I got asked the same question. Apparently the answer "Yes, but I'd want to see what her mother looked like first." was not the correct answer
CatSnipah
Member
Had one many years ago where the lady - who was very personable and we got along - had used a picture that was 6-7 years old. One date only, please.
Enough said.
Enough said.
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
Internet math:
42DD=32B
9"=4.3"
"Perfect 10"="6 tops".
We won't even discuss the terms "RAM" or "upload". Or "cloud"...
42DD=32B
9"=4.3"
"Perfect 10"="6 tops".
We won't even discuss the terms "RAM" or "upload". Or "cloud"...
LVSteve
Member
More Internet math for over 40s dating:
"Love to travel..." = "Looking to go to Cancun to get wasted"
"Young at heart" = "In denial about being over 40"
"Like to hike.." (girl) = "... around the mall to buy more shoes"
"Like to hike.." (guy) = "Will willingly walk around electronics stores and car dealers."
"Love to eat out" (girl) = "Hates cooking/Cannot cook"
"Love to eat out" (guy) = "My kitchen has roaches with their own Sci-Fi show."
"Easy going" = "Will be a slob with minimal encouragement."
"House proud" (girl) = "OCD neat and clean freak, no car mechanics, please."
"Tidy minded" (guy) = "OCD neat and clean freak with every GI Joe ever made in a display case in the front room"
"Love animals" (girl) = "Crazy cat lady"
"Love animals" (guy) = "Serial pitbull owner"
"Have exotic pets" = "Do you like spiders?"
"Social drinker" (girl) = "Gets tipsy and falls off her heels every time she's out"
"Social drinker" (guy) = "Gets obnoxious and into fights every time he's out"
"Moderate drinker" (girl) = "Gets Xmas cards every year from the makers of Southern Comfort, Grey Goose, Gordon's Gin etc."
"Moderate drinker" (guy) = "Has lost count of his DUIs"
"Slender" (girl) = "Looks great in those scanned pictures from the 1980s.."
"Athletic" (guy) = "Looks great in those scanned pictures from the 1980s.."
"About average build" (girl) = "Looks like your favourite aunt who bakes the good cookies"
"About average build" (guy) = "Moderate beer gut"
"Full figured" (girl) = "Roseanne clone"
"A few extra pounds" (guy) = "Beer gut has its own gravity field"
"Not into PDA straight away" (girl) = "Ice maiden"
"Appreciate PDA" (girl) = "Clingy"
"Appreciate PDA" (guy) = "Seems to have more hands than a mime convention"
"Passionate" (girl) = "Your mother won't like me.."
"Passionate" (guy) = "Expects the works on the first date"
"Minimal baggage" (girl) = "...if you discount the jealous controlling ex-boyfriend in the Marines"
"Minimal baggage" (guy) = "...if you discount the child support for four kids by three different mothers"
"Like to be treated like a lady" = "You're paying, Bud"
"Looking for an independent woman" = "I'm broke, so buy me pizza and beer"
"Love to travel..." = "Looking to go to Cancun to get wasted"
"Young at heart" = "In denial about being over 40"
"Like to hike.." (girl) = "... around the mall to buy more shoes"
"Like to hike.." (guy) = "Will willingly walk around electronics stores and car dealers."
"Love to eat out" (girl) = "Hates cooking/Cannot cook"
"Love to eat out" (guy) = "My kitchen has roaches with their own Sci-Fi show."
"Easy going" = "Will be a slob with minimal encouragement."
"House proud" (girl) = "OCD neat and clean freak, no car mechanics, please."
"Tidy minded" (guy) = "OCD neat and clean freak with every GI Joe ever made in a display case in the front room"
"Love animals" (girl) = "Crazy cat lady"
"Love animals" (guy) = "Serial pitbull owner"
"Have exotic pets" = "Do you like spiders?"
"Social drinker" (girl) = "Gets tipsy and falls off her heels every time she's out"
"Social drinker" (guy) = "Gets obnoxious and into fights every time he's out"
"Moderate drinker" (girl) = "Gets Xmas cards every year from the makers of Southern Comfort, Grey Goose, Gordon's Gin etc."
"Moderate drinker" (guy) = "Has lost count of his DUIs"
"Slender" (girl) = "Looks great in those scanned pictures from the 1980s.."
"Athletic" (guy) = "Looks great in those scanned pictures from the 1980s.."
"About average build" (girl) = "Looks like your favourite aunt who bakes the good cookies"
"About average build" (guy) = "Moderate beer gut"
"Full figured" (girl) = "Roseanne clone"
"A few extra pounds" (guy) = "Beer gut has its own gravity field"
"Not into PDA straight away" (girl) = "Ice maiden"
"Appreciate PDA" (girl) = "Clingy"
"Appreciate PDA" (guy) = "Seems to have more hands than a mime convention"
"Passionate" (girl) = "Your mother won't like me.."
"Passionate" (guy) = "Expects the works on the first date"
"Minimal baggage" (girl) = "...if you discount the jealous controlling ex-boyfriend in the Marines"
"Minimal baggage" (guy) = "...if you discount the child support for four kids by three different mothers"
"Like to be treated like a lady" = "You're paying, Bud"
"Looking for an independent woman" = "I'm broke, so buy me pizza and beer"
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Roadtrash
US Veteran
I've got a friend that tried that for awhile. The first two were something out of star wars and I don't mean princess Leia. The last one he married and after a few years she took him for everything he had and just moved away. He's 75 now and not looking for another one.
Rick_A
Member
The trick is not to use a "dating" sight, per se. Them folks are crazy.
A "special interest" social site worked for me. Good things happen when like minded folks get together.
A "special interest" social site worked for me. Good things happen when like minded folks get together.
shouldazagged
Absent Comrade
Why not? I've watched people on dates texting other people and paying little attention to each other.
I think I've outlived my usefulness...
Grayfox
US Veteran
Well I admit I've been trying it for a couple of years now. I guess I've had seven or eight "first dates". Met some nice ladies and enjoyed some good meals. But so far none of them have clicked with me.
Oh yeah, I have learned to read the various "code phrases" in their profiles. "Love to travel" or "Looking for a travel partner" almost always means they expect me to pay for their fun.
Absolutely amazing how many women around here love the beach when there isn't one within 600 miles.
Another pet peeve of mine is pictures. I don't want to see a dozen pictures of just your face. I don't care to see your kids, your pets, your friends, your last vacation, flowers, trees or anything else. Just give me two good pictures. A nice portrait style of your face and one head to toe shot so I can see what the rest of you looks like. That's all I need.
The last thing a guy wants is to set up a date with a lady who has a pretty face only to discover that she's either so skinny she makes a toothpick look fat or that she's almost as wide as she is tall.
Just be honest right up front Ladies. That's all I ask.
Actually its reached the point where I log into these sites about once a week just to show I am still active and looking. But I rarely ever do a search anymore or contact any of the women I see. Maybe someday I'll get lucky. I still have hope. But so far it just ain't working out.
And so much for one lonely old man's rant for today.
Oh yeah, I have learned to read the various "code phrases" in their profiles. "Love to travel" or "Looking for a travel partner" almost always means they expect me to pay for their fun.
Absolutely amazing how many women around here love the beach when there isn't one within 600 miles.
Another pet peeve of mine is pictures. I don't want to see a dozen pictures of just your face. I don't care to see your kids, your pets, your friends, your last vacation, flowers, trees or anything else. Just give me two good pictures. A nice portrait style of your face and one head to toe shot so I can see what the rest of you looks like. That's all I need.
The last thing a guy wants is to set up a date with a lady who has a pretty face only to discover that she's either so skinny she makes a toothpick look fat or that she's almost as wide as she is tall.
Just be honest right up front Ladies. That's all I ask.
Actually its reached the point where I log into these sites about once a week just to show I am still active and looking. But I rarely ever do a search anymore or contact any of the women I see. Maybe someday I'll get lucky. I still have hope. But so far it just ain't working out.
And so much for one lonely old man's rant for today.
THE PILGRIM
Member
Not me- but my non PC buddies- way back- used to say-
'Go ugly early'.
'Go ugly early'.
Shorty 45 MK2
Member
A nice maker of 1911s.
A very nice maker of 1911s.
Yes, if you don't mind Ramen noddles for supper for 6 months.
The best smelling after shave ever.
Sorry, I couldn't resist.
That's a good list.
