A question on gun etiquette.

[NCavi8tor]

I will never understand people's need to tell others that they are carrying. Maybe you should just keep your weapon at home if you don't know how to properly conceal.

NC

 

[zzclancy]

I never leave a gun in my truck. No one will know I'm carrying, unless something happens. At that point what difference will it make. Family and friends know I carry. Don't ask don't tell unless they are an LEO. I only answer that question if they have a badge. I'm responsible for my own safety.

 

[Protected One]

Since I carry for the purpose of protecting myself and my wife and don't know if or where the need might present itself, I carry everywhere...which includes any party I've been invited to.

However, to minimize the likelihood of unintended discovery that I am carrying I would put my bodyguard .380 in my pocket (rather than my Shield 9 on my hip). I would inform no one. As long as nothing happens nobody would ever know. And if something did happen, well, that's why we carry, right?

 

[Smoke]

Seeing some of the answers I'll embellish a tad on my answer.

Concealed is concealed. Yes but, there is always the shy-ish young lady at one of these things who has decided she wants to try drinking for the first time. The booze lowers her inhibitions and loosens her tongue. She now feels the need to start hugging people. When your turn comes she feels a hard bulge and comes up with her best imitation of Mae West. Now everybody knows.

I can't remember the last time I went to a drinking party but if people are getting that looped it's time for me to go anyway

 

[ChattanoogaPhil]

I pocket carry and have never felt compelled to advise anyone in their presence. I carry from the time I get dressed in the morning and really don't think about being "armed" any more than carrying a wallet.

As far as being hugged and someone noticing.... Folks carry phones the size of bricks these days so I really don't that's much a worry.

 

[Richard Simmons]

Easiest answer is to ask yourself two questions.

#1 Why do I carry?

#2 What is it about this party at this house that changes my answer to question #1.

 

[LenS]

I must say that I'm really surprised at the number of people who voted "Keep the gun on and don't tell anybody."
I don't know, maybe its a cultural thing, a generational thing or maybe just the way I was brought up, but to me entering a person's home armed and without them knowing is just plain bad manners.
Admittedly, I have entered people's homes while armed in the past and never mentioned it. But in these cases I was there for business, there was usually money involved, they were complete strangers and knew I would only be a few minutes at most. Here it seemed prudent to carry and not tell.
In this case, these are my GF's friends, she has vouched for them, we'll be there for a couple of hours at least and they're offering me supper. This is a purely social occasion.
And while I doubt it would happen, I do believe that, if necessary, I can handle a troublesome drunk without resorting to firearms.
Quite frankly, some of the responses smack of the line of thinking that its my right, I'm legal and I don't give a damn what you think attitude. But what about common courtesy or respecting other's property? Are these concepts invalid these days?
I've decided to stick to my original plan and just leave the gun in the car.
The rest of you can do whatever you feel is right.

I haven't gone to "drinking parties" where people get blasted since college and that was mid-last century! I don't ask permission when I go into stores, visiting friends or relatives, etc. I don't see the need and in this part of the country almost everyone would object if asked (because they don't believe that citizens should own guns at all!), as it is moonbat central.

While I agree with this I think most people don't view their guns as tools. People love to ogle at and show off their guns. There are even flashy BBQ guns. While I'm sure they wouldn't show a new pack of condoms to their friends, they will show off their new gun the second they have a chance. My friends are always puzzled by the fact that I don't show them my guns or even tell them when I buy one. To me they are just tools regardless of value or look and to be honest I no more think to show off my new gun then I do to show off the new pack of stick it notes I bought

I never show off what I own except at the range and my CCW remains on me the whole time.

It may be the way you (general you) perceive guns. To me its no different than keys, cigarettes, cell phones. It's just a thing I carry. Has no emotional value outside of being a tool for a job. Just like my cell phone is a tool for a job

Bingo! Same here.

Know the law in your state. If you have no duty to inform, don't speak. It's no different than any other personal item on you, like a wallet, cell phone or car keys.

Ditto.

A year or so ago I had a fellow out from a company I had dealt with before to give me an estimate on installing some window film. He took his jacket off and I saw he had a .45 on his hip. It shocked me a bit. Just wasn't expecting it. Never had thought about someone in my house OTHER THAN ME being armed.

Almost 40 yrs ago back when my Wife was anti-gun (she's now a life member of NRA/SAF/GOAL/PGNH and a gun club member), an off-duty cop came to our house (friend) and was openly carrying. I was wondering if my Wife would say something, she didn't.

I'm assuming we are talking concealed carry here. If that's the case no one should ever know you have a gun. IMHO that's one of the main points of Concealed carry.

Totally agree.

I'm confused, what does offering me supper have to do with your self defense? When I go into a restaurant, they're offering me supper, too.
I don't understand where going armed and CONCEALED would be offensive to anyone.
Does your wife know everyone attending this party? What about someone brought by her friend?
I just don't see the insult to someone by doing this unless its known beforehand that its not wanted.
Wouldn't that train of thought apply everywhere then? Who's to know who you may offend at anytime, anywhere?
I don't see it as an 'In your face' insult at all.
That's just me.
If by carelessness or accident, someone discovered that I was carrying, and it offended them, I would apologize for offending them...leave and never go back.
I seriously doubt that they would apologize for offending me, thinking that myself or my gun presented a threat.

Exactly. In my area it is the rare (non-gun) person who would not object if they only knew.

Seeing some of the answers I'll embellish a tad on my answer.

Concealed is concealed. Yes but, there is always the shy-ish young lady at one of these things who has decided she wants to try drinking for the first time. The booze lowers her inhibitions and loosens her tongue. She now feels the need to start hugging people. When your turn comes she feels a hard bulge and comes up with her best imitation of Mae West. Now everybody knows.

Not even in college was I at those kind of parties. I don't attend drinking parties anyway. Everyone we associate with may take a couple of drinks over a number of hours, but don't get drunk in any way whatsoever.

Surprise hugging situations can usually be dealt with and I've had a couple of times someone hit my gun and thought it was a cell phone . . . I didn't correct them.

 

[Trons]

Well, I'm fairly new to carrying. Only been doing it for a little over a year. I will say that I now feel uncomfortable, if I'm vertical and have my pants on, to not have my gun on my hip. Having said that, I've been faced with this decision and I carried. Never occurred to me not to carry. This is how it went:

A person I only speak to once every few months, but have known for years, was having his son join the Marines and threw a going away party for him and invited me and my son (they are friends too). Show up, booze is flowing (except the soon to be marine who's shipping out the following day). I ask my friend if his SIL is going to show up because he's a jerk and when he gets drunk he can get violent. My friend said not till later, and I expected to be gone by then.

Jump forward about 30min and said SIL shows up with a nice Ruger on his side (open carry). Apparently, he got a job where he's allowed to carry. He promptly unloads it, shows it off and around, ect. Talk drifts to guns, slightly, then goes back to what it was before. Military life, questions about foreign places, ect. 20min later, my son brings me another water and quietly asks if I was carrying (said SIL is NOT drinking). I replied with a "what are you stupid look" and he said he was surprised I didn't "whip" it out and show it off and I replied I'd rather nobody know I was carrying. He understood and it wasn't mentioned again. And I never discuss Politics or Religion with people I'm not very close to, whether I'm carrying or not.

If SIL would have started drinking, I would have asked him to put the gun up. He's easy to handle once he gets drunk. No balance and a slight nudge will send him to the ground. I had no "fear" i'd need my gun, but again, I didn't really think about it, because I just carry. Like other people said, it's like my wallet. I personally feel it's like American Express. Never leave home without it.

Now, on the flip side, we're throwing a 4th party at my house and there will be drinking. Probably lots of it. I sometimes have people pitch tents and if you're drinking you don't leave unless you have a sober person driving you. We start the day out shooting...usually right after an early lunch. The booze doesn't start flowing till later that afternoon and once tops get popped, guns go bye bye. If you are carrying at my party AND drinking AND I don't know about it, then I won't care. If I catch you, and you're drinking, I'll ask you to put it up because it's not safe. But safety is my only concern. If you are not drinking and I catch you, I may pull you aside, let you know I saw you printing, so you can adjust to prevent it from happening again.

Not everybody I know, or am friends with, knows I carry. Only my close friends. I usually open carry on my property so if you come over, you'll see my shield on my hip, but if we run into each other out in town, If you don't ask, I won't tell. I like it that way and that's the way I'm going to continue doing it.

FYI. I don't think it's rude to carrying on somebody's property without their permission, if they don't know. What would be rude, in my opinion, would be open carrying and being trying to be tacticool by bragging about it.

 

[Old TexMex]

Parties I go to they ask if you have a gun, and you say no, they'll offer you one.

 

[Rastoff]

I have never met these people before and common courtesy tells me that I shouldn't enter someone else's home armed without them knowing about it.

Out of respect to the homeowner I would lock it in the car.

This is a serious question; how is it disrespectful? I just don't understand, but would like to. To me it would be disrespectful if you were waving the gun around, but as long as it stays concealed/holstered, it's a non-issue. Even if there are children. As long as the children aren't messing with it, it's a non-issue.

Please explain how it's rude.

Be aware that in some states there is a legal requirement to inform the owner of a private residence that you are armed, and to get his permission to enter.

Never heard of such a thing. Can you post the law?

I make a point of not discussing guns with people I don't know.

Now that's just funny right there. Just how many of us do you know?

 

[jdh]

I can't remember the last time I went to a drinking party but if people are getting that looped it's time for me to go anyway

There is always one. One is all it takes. (BTW, the example given really happened. Nobody is sure how the chief's daughter got invited to "choir practice".)

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

Where I live, it used to be illegal to leave my concealed-carry weapon in the car. Now it's just stupid (because it has to be unloaded and locked up, which ordinarily involves a lot of semi-public handling), and might be kind of frowned upon by the licensing authority if it ever got stolen from the car.

I carry lots of things at parties that I don't show to people. That will probably continue.

 

[Smoke]

If SIL would have started drinking, I would have asked him to put the gun up.

Not your house, not your place.

I would have left myself

 

[Smoke]

Now that's just funny right there. Just how many of us do you know?

There's only 1 person on this forum who even knows my real name or has any idea what I look like

 

[Old TexMex]

O.k., serious answer (for a change):
I don't drink. I have lots of friends who do, but I don't hang around drunk party scenes. It bores the daylights out of me. But I go to cocktail parties, receptions, open houses sometimes. This is not the parties or gatherings that I'm working (that's the security job), sometimes guests drink plenty, but not often.
Anyone, just about, that invites me to a party knows what I do and that I'm probably armed.
It just doesn't come up. Someone goes to hug me, my righthand goes low to them so their arm is above mine- that's simple.

I did have a politician ask me recently (discreetly) at a "mixer" if I wouldn't mind not carrying my gun if I had one. I asked if I could hand it off to one of his security guys. He stopped and thought, then said "you know what...never mind, you're fine." Just one more good guy at his function.

I guess if I were an electrician or a repairman or a locksmith I'd carry a Kahr or P290 in my front khaki pants pocket. And not say anything one way or the other.

 

[motorcyclejoe]

Private Property

I guess it comes down to whether you respect other peoples private property rights. In my state property owners have the right to decide whether or not firearms are allowed on their property. We have the right to bear arms, property owners have the right to determine what is allowed on their property. I don't think we should pick and choose which rights are valid. If you feel the need to take the gun, the respectful thing to do would be to ask for permission - unless the law in your state does not allow private property owners prohibit firearms - then the courteous thing to do is to ask for permission. If you don't respect other peoples rights, why would you expect others to respect yours?

 

[M1A]

I voted for the "keep your mouth shut", however, that's me. What people don't know, is best.
I do think that with all the suggestions there is no foul except leaving it home.
You have thought this out, so do as you please.
No volley ball though!

 

[gen3guy]

Not your domain. If you are not comfortable informing the homeowner (I personally would be reluctant) then leave the gun in your car. I would expect the same common courtesy from a stranger entering my house.

 

[Jessie]

Boy, I hope the anti's don't find this thread.
I can hear it now..." See, even THEY don't trust someone with a gun!"
Where's the faith of knowing that a person who carries a permit is historically the safest person with a gun?

 

[10mm_Shooter]

Alcohol and weapons are not a good (weither you are drinking or not) mix. The gun should remain in car. If you feel things would degrade to a shootout. Why even go!! Legally a shooting + alcohol is bad ju-ju. You choose to go a party serving alcohol and choose to remain armed, and then were involved in a shooting(even while not drinking) you are gonna get ate up in court. Be smart dont put yourself in that position. Damn guys have some balls and some sense. My opinion feel free to disagree.