The poll is overwhelming.
A question on gun etiquette.
- Thread starter Grayfox
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I don't ask people entering my home if they are armed. If they are and they are unexpectedly evil and try to use their firearm, I'd be surprised that my friends would be hanging with them in the first place, and consider getting a better class of friends.
But that's also why I'm armed in my home, and if an evil stranger in my home is dumb enough to draw his gun, I'm going to draw mine as well and put it to good use.
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For all I know the cleaning ladies that come on Thursdays are armed. If I were a cleaning lady going into people's homes more or less alone, I'd be armed. As long as they carry concealed and don't whip them out to play with, I really don't care. There exercising of their 2nd amendment rights via concealed carry has zero impact on me, even in my own home.
Now if it bothers me, since I live in NC, I could conspicuously post a "no firearms" sign on my front door and then reasonably expect visitors to lave their guns in their cars. <sarcasm on> I'd obviously be lots safer as we all know how well gun free zones work. <sarcasm off>
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In that regard when I show up at a party at one of my wife's friend's house, I'm carrying concealed. I don't notify, I don't ask for permission, but I do extend the courtesy to homeowner and the other guests of ensuring that it is concealed and stays concealed so that they don't have to worry about an armed party attendee.
The only exception to this is if for some reason I decide I'd like a beer. That happens maybe once a year, and when that happens I'll unload it, and lock it a lock box in the trunk, or I'll leave it home.
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With that said, there have been times both here in NC and back home in SD, where the subject of concealed carry comes up, and in the course of the conversation you discover that there are multiple people at the party who are either actively carrying at that moment, or who regularly carry - just not that evening - and see nothing odd about people carrying concealed at the party. They basically split out along the lines of those who are not drinking at all, and those who are drinking that evening.
But that's also why I'm armed in my home, and if an evil stranger in my home is dumb enough to draw his gun, I'm going to draw mine as well and put it to good use.
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For all I know the cleaning ladies that come on Thursdays are armed. If I were a cleaning lady going into people's homes more or less alone, I'd be armed. As long as they carry concealed and don't whip them out to play with, I really don't care. There exercising of their 2nd amendment rights via concealed carry has zero impact on me, even in my own home.
Now if it bothers me, since I live in NC, I could conspicuously post a "no firearms" sign on my front door and then reasonably expect visitors to lave their guns in their cars. <sarcasm on> I'd obviously be lots safer as we all know how well gun free zones work. <sarcasm off>
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In that regard when I show up at a party at one of my wife's friend's house, I'm carrying concealed. I don't notify, I don't ask for permission, but I do extend the courtesy to homeowner and the other guests of ensuring that it is concealed and stays concealed so that they don't have to worry about an armed party attendee.
The only exception to this is if for some reason I decide I'd like a beer. That happens maybe once a year, and when that happens I'll unload it, and lock it a lock box in the trunk, or I'll leave it home.
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With that said, there have been times both here in NC and back home in SD, where the subject of concealed carry comes up, and in the course of the conversation you discover that there are multiple people at the party who are either actively carrying at that moment, or who regularly carry - just not that evening - and see nothing odd about people carrying concealed at the party. They basically split out along the lines of those who are not drinking at all, and those who are drinking that evening.
kbm6893
Member
I don't worry about "evil intent". I worry about accidental discharges due to unsafe practices. Frankly, the way I have seen people handle weapons does not give me confidence unless I personally know you. A CCW permit is not proof of safe gun handling. And I don't quiz people who come into my home. That would be an odd conversation.
BUT, if I KNEW a person did not like guns and did not want one in her home, she wouldn't have to ask me if I was armed, because I wouldn't be. I'd respect her wishes. And the reason I keep saying "her" is because I'm using my sister-in-law as an example. She is totally against guns. So I never carry in her home. It's her house and her rules. I'm not going to disrespect her because of some home invasion fantasy. For the few hours a year I am in her house, I can go unarmed.
BUT, if I KNEW a person did not like guns and did not want one in her home, she wouldn't have to ask me if I was armed, because I wouldn't be. I'd respect her wishes. And the reason I keep saying "her" is because I'm using my sister-in-law as an example. She is totally against guns. So I never carry in her home. It's her house and her rules. I'm not going to disrespect her because of some home invasion fantasy. For the few hours a year I am in her house, I can go unarmed.
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BIGDOC
US Veteran
If I'm going to be around strangers...and I 'm staying away from drinks, I will be prepared since I don't know who's who.
I certainly can't say it wasn't an interesting and eye-opening result.
Not sure what it all says about our little S&W enthusiast community... but by a whopping 3 to 1 ratio, exercising one's God-given right to self-defense 24/7/365 clearly trumps respecting the feelings and wishes of one's party hosts for sure. 
Maybe I just haven't been going to bad enough parties in bad enough places lately, but I would have thought that opinion would have been a bit more evenly divided.
ChattanoogaPhil
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I certainly can't say it wasn't an interesting and eye-opening result.
Maybe I just haven't been going to bad enough parties in bad enough places lately, but I would have thought that opinion would have been a bit more evenly divided.
The scenario for the polling was going to a party where the homeowner is identified as a ----> "gun guy". How are you interpreting that as having no respect for the party host feelings or wishes?
OP- Normally, I inform the home owner upon arrival and offer to leave my gun in the car if they wish. I think I'll be good with the home owner as my GF tells me that he's a gun guy too. However, I have no idea how many people will be at this party and no clue as to what others attitudes may be.
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kbm6893
Member
I certainly can't say it wasn't an interesting and eye-opening result.
Maybe I just haven't been going to bad enough parties in bad enough places lately, but I would have thought that opinion would have been a bit more evenly divided.
You gotta take population into account when you poll something. Poll a black community about Obama and the results are gonna be different than a white one. Poll a Grateful Dead concert about legalizing weed and you're gonna get a different response than if you polled a Bible study class.
Members of a gun forum are always going to be more enthusiastic (dare I say extreme?) about guns and carry practices. The average Joe would be more respectful about the wishes of the host, I am sure. And they wouldn't be worrying 24/7 about home invasions, either.
But this forum is still a great one. Nothing better for learning about S&W firearms. When it comes to one or two topics, I will never see eye to eye with some members.
kbm6893
Member
I think he was referring to those who said that concealed means nobody is going to know, so they would carry regardless of the wishes of the host.
And I'm a gun guy, and I'm not all that comfortable with having a large crowd of people in my home, where booze is being served, and them being armed UNLESS I am confident in the abilities of the owner. I've seen too many clowns with guns, and we've all heard about the guy leaving his gun in the bathroom. I'm not looking to get sued.
So when my friends come over, they're packing. No problem. But some guy who comes with a a girl I work with? Big problem.
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That's the bottom line, IMO. In my own case, I don't know how all of my friends feel about carrying weapons. I am not about to ask them so I don't take my pistol into their homes. It's their home, not mine. If I don't feel safe going there with the gun, I just wouldn't go. Simple,
Let me ask you this: Do you think it would have changed the results of the poll by much if the party host weren't a "gun guy"?
In my case (and I admit, I am not with the majority here), I would be even less inclined to carry a gun to a party if I knew the topic of guns was going to come up.
No question about it. I don't hold anyone's vote, preference or opinion against them... and this *is* and has always been a great forum.
OP
Grayfox
US Veteran
Its about good manners.
I'm sure your Momma at least tried to teach them to you. But apparently some of you didn't get the message.
Sorry I ever brought the subject up. So let's just agree to disagree and let it go.
Mods- Please lock this thread.
I'm sure your Momma at least tried to teach them to you. But apparently some of you didn't get the message.
Sorry I ever brought the subject up. So let's just agree to disagree and let it go.
Mods- Please lock this thread.
I certainly can't say it wasn't an interesting and eye-opening result.
Maybe I just haven't been going to bad enough parties in bad enough places lately, but I would have thought that opinion would have been a bit more evenly divided.
You and I are in the same state, Commiechusetts, the land of Kennedy, Barney Frank, etc. people who have lobbied long and hard to ban all civilian ownership of guns. Culturally people in this area have been raised to believe that all guns are bad and shouldn't be allowed where people are.
If we were to ask every merchant we enter, every house we visit, etc. for permission what do you think the results would be? I'm betting 90+% of merchants and people would say "no".
My feelings are that if someone posted "no guns" outside their business or home, that upfront message would be given more weight in one's decision process. But asking permission of everyone you run into reminds me of what Adm. Grace Hopper taught me (and anyone else who would listen) . . . that it was better to ask forgiveness than to ask permission. I've lived by that in many areas of my life where such wouldn't hurt another person but might bend the rules. YMMV
BTW, I don't ever attend "drinking parties", haven't been to one since my college days and even then some passed out but never were there any hostile behavior. So I can't relate to that sort of concern where I'd be at house party where drunken brawls might break out. In fact when we have people over, I never offer any alcohol unless it is wine with dinner, never even have any beer in my house (I'll drink a single tap brew when out to dinner however).
I am very active on a regional forum and I organize a meet at a gun shop monthly and then we all head out to dinner at a local restaurant. I know that some are armed but we never discuss it. Most will have a single beer with dinner and it not a big deal (and not illegal). This same regional forum has many get-togethers in various places over the year and there have never been any issues even though many are armed (very very few would dare OC, so it is all CCW).
The manner in which we live up North vs. Down South I think is culturally very different. I don't think that many of us Northerners give much thought to asking permission to be who we are or to bring whatever we bring with us when visiting others.
These differences in culture may well account for the results and discussion you've seen in this thread.
ChattanoogaPhil
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Maybe some folks aren't as preoccupied and self-conscious about carrying a gun as others. I don't think much more about having a gun in my pocket than I do a leather wallet. Maybe the host or someone else at the party is an animal rights person who disdains and is offended by leather wallets, shoes, belts... Did you leave those in the car just to be sure not to offend?
Running around asking everyone or worried if they are offended by a gun seems to say more about a person's uneasiness with carrying a gun than concern of others being uneasy around someone armed
My gun is safest right where it is, holstered in my pocket.
As you wish. Locked.
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