Ivan the Butcher
Member
This morning, we were driving home from a 10-day East Coast vacation to see 3 of our kid's families.
My wife was sitting in the CR-V's Navigator's seat. I had programmed the GPS to take us home by shortest distance using toll roads. 448 miles from Quakertown to Columbus. We stopped by Micky D's for a fast breakfast. I'm ready to pull straight onto the Pa. Turnpike, when she say turn left! What? Why? I-476 will become a parking lot where it runs into I-76, take state 322 LEFT NOW! Yes dear.
So begins the Southeast adventure I never want to take again. Into every small town, hairpin turn, and traffic light I didn't want to see! The GPS is arguing with us at every other intersection. There is a sign up ahead about a Detour! It doesn't effect us at all! However, she keeps commenting about how that road puts too much time and mileage on the route. I eventually get to a medium town and the GPS says go right on the Highway number she has been looking for. BUT NO! Go straight one more block. What? Go up to Main Street and turn right! Yes dear. Right into the Memorial Day Parade route! It's 5 minutes before the hour and the marching band is about to step off. The street isn't blocked off yet, So I go right. Right down Main Street in Pottsburg or Potterville or whatever Middle America is called in Pennsylvania. Every eye, every small town LEO, even every dog; is starring straight at us! We are not even on the right road! We Get out of that mess and I zig-zagging through the neighborhood, trying to find the road we need.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED: she started yammering on about the bumpy street, the pretty flowers, and some Calico cat., then I told the sweetest, most beautiful, most kind and intelligent women in the world to HUSH!
Just then, I found the street! But the climate went from a beautiful in Spring day to the Arctic winds were howling inside the car! I drove in silence another 15 or 20 miles and found the Turnpike West entrance and got on. Hardly any traffic compared to normal! The GPS says we have further to go now than when we started an Hour ago! (Yes, it added 47 miles to the trip home!) We were at the very spot I would have been at much earlier.
The trip was more than a little frosty for the next 5 hours. Our plan all along was to stop when coming home at Cabela's in Wheeling and buy me new shirts and shorts for summer. As we approach the exit I get, "Oh, Okay, Go ahead and go shopping."
AS per all that is right and proper, I start in the Gun Library. Then Go the reloading and then Ammo. (All the while texting -with photos- to friends and family, what is available and costs.) We get into men's clothing, and I get several shirts, dress T-Shirts, and 3 very nice pair of shorts. "Good, can we go now?" "Not Yet!" Off and up we go to camping and buy 45 freeze dried camping meals, and some small equipment, that I had never mentioned we "needed". As we exit the elevator, we step right into the Women's Clothing Department. Well Gee-wiz. Would you look at the rack of sale items right in front of us.
It only cost $367 and change to thaw the car out for the hour and a half ride home!
Ivan
PS. Otherwise, the trip and family was great! How was your Memorial Day?
My wife was sitting in the CR-V's Navigator's seat. I had programmed the GPS to take us home by shortest distance using toll roads. 448 miles from Quakertown to Columbus. We stopped by Micky D's for a fast breakfast. I'm ready to pull straight onto the Pa. Turnpike, when she say turn left! What? Why? I-476 will become a parking lot where it runs into I-76, take state 322 LEFT NOW! Yes dear.
So begins the Southeast adventure I never want to take again. Into every small town, hairpin turn, and traffic light I didn't want to see! The GPS is arguing with us at every other intersection. There is a sign up ahead about a Detour! It doesn't effect us at all! However, she keeps commenting about how that road puts too much time and mileage on the route. I eventually get to a medium town and the GPS says go right on the Highway number she has been looking for. BUT NO! Go straight one more block. What? Go up to Main Street and turn right! Yes dear. Right into the Memorial Day Parade route! It's 5 minutes before the hour and the marching band is about to step off. The street isn't blocked off yet, So I go right. Right down Main Street in Pottsburg or Potterville or whatever Middle America is called in Pennsylvania. Every eye, every small town LEO, even every dog; is starring straight at us! We are not even on the right road! We Get out of that mess and I zig-zagging through the neighborhood, trying to find the road we need.
AND THEN IT HAPPENED: she started yammering on about the bumpy street, the pretty flowers, and some Calico cat., then I told the sweetest, most beautiful, most kind and intelligent women in the world to HUSH!
Just then, I found the street! But the climate went from a beautiful in Spring day to the Arctic winds were howling inside the car! I drove in silence another 15 or 20 miles and found the Turnpike West entrance and got on. Hardly any traffic compared to normal! The GPS says we have further to go now than when we started an Hour ago! (Yes, it added 47 miles to the trip home!) We were at the very spot I would have been at much earlier.
The trip was more than a little frosty for the next 5 hours. Our plan all along was to stop when coming home at Cabela's in Wheeling and buy me new shirts and shorts for summer. As we approach the exit I get, "Oh, Okay, Go ahead and go shopping."
AS per all that is right and proper, I start in the Gun Library. Then Go the reloading and then Ammo. (All the while texting -with photos- to friends and family, what is available and costs.) We get into men's clothing, and I get several shirts, dress T-Shirts, and 3 very nice pair of shorts. "Good, can we go now?" "Not Yet!" Off and up we go to camping and buy 45 freeze dried camping meals, and some small equipment, that I had never mentioned we "needed". As we exit the elevator, we step right into the Women's Clothing Department. Well Gee-wiz. Would you look at the rack of sale items right in front of us.
It only cost $367 and change to thaw the car out for the hour and a half ride home!
Ivan
PS. Otherwise, the trip and family was great! How was your Memorial Day?
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