Sweet Dreams?

[Tom S.]

Perhaps this will help you sleep better. From Britannica:

The belief that we swallow an average of eight spiders in our sleep every year has become so ingrained in popular culture that many people now accept it as fact. The reality, however, is quite different: we swallow no spiders at all.

 

[ladder13]

Will a shotgun work for bears and spiders?

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Best if the spiders are on the bear.

 

[brucev]

I swallow no spyders at all never ever! I do not because ... (Cue Ronco music ) I have my Bug-A-Salt right beside my pillow!!! It works!!! It really really works!!! With mere table salt and a easy to learn pump action, you to can sleep securely by getting your very own Bug-Assault! Bright yellow w/ little orange muzzle device!!! Push button safety!!! Wife approved b/c "SHE" bought it for ME off Amazon (See there ... you knew Amazon would come through with just the thing you need for booger bugs in the dark)!!! Would I kid you about something this serious??? Of course not!!! Get one!!! You'll feel like Arnold Schwarzenegger!!! Ask me and I'll put in a good word for you if you want to try to land a co-star role w/ Arnold in his next redo of Predator!!!

Now ... if your local brand of spyder runs to the size of Joro or bigger, and you consider it is beyond the capabilities of a pump action Bug-Assault, then you need to up your game! That's what I did for outdoor backyard and porch problem pests! Got myself a Bug-A-Salt Shredder!!! It's a revolver!!! It's a Big revolver. Dirty Harry big!!! I tried wearing it in a shoulder holster but decided to just carry it in my right hand. Double or single action, this thing has enough power to make Dirty Harry crack a smile!!! It's even better than the Desert Eagle he once used. It's gas powered. It's 10 shots and clip fed. It gives second strike capability in case you have a misfire. Order yourself the big box of ammo and you'll be set to pop pests of all sorts!!! It will actually hammer carpenter bees in the air. It is supremely effective on big south Georgia mosquitos. Think I'll contact the Ukranians!!! This BASS (Bug-A-Salt Shredder) ought to be just what they need for ground assault operations on Russians, etc. Sincerely. bruce.

 

[GnarlsR2]

There's some strange MCI (Mild Cognitive Impairment) going around.

I have Sweet Dreams nearly every night.

 

[Kenna]

Its too early for bed!

 

[Mule Packer]

No matter what you think...no matter what you do...it's coming.

 

[Skeet 028]

After reading this whole thread...It's ALWAYS too early for bed!!

 

[jem102]

I have fallen off house roofs, crashed motorcycles and had a knife pulled on me and walked away with a shake of the head. But I have an unfounded fear of spiders. Don't know why and even though they are fascinating in a morbid sense I terminate them with extreme prejudice when found. This whole thread gives me the creeps!

 

[pmanton]

I'd like to give 9 or 10 likes to the above post.

 

[Timothy2700]

Love this post. Reminds me of a few short stories where each subsequent chapter was written by a different person. Or two people back and forth.
Bigride, collectordude, pawngal, rudi, robvious, lvsteve, lihipster, soflanative (did I miss anyone?) send some PMs to each other, get an agent and I'll buy a signed copy of your co-authored book. P.S. Get Stephen King to write the introduction.

 

[JohnRippert]

The little jumping spiders in my house are my buds. I thank them all the time for taking care of the fire ants that actually would bite me. Whenever I vacuum dust I find little piles of fire ant husks in strategic hiding spots around the house. I also have a little Tarzan spider that lives behind my monitor and the pictures on the wall around it. I see him running around and occasionally swinging from a line. My little friends.

 

[charlie sherrill]

Back in my teenage years a friend and I were hunting at a friend of my Dad's farm. Nature called us both at the same time. The farmer had a "two holer" out house. I prefer to do things such as this alone, but unfortunately there was no way either of us could wait. While taking care of business my friend jumped up screaming. As he went out the out house door I could see a black widow spider digging into his butt. He didn't die but did get very ill. He was scared of spiders for the rest of his life and while he was with the Marines in Viet Nam he was more scared of spiders than the Viet Cong or NVA. That was a little over 60 years ago and I'll make like a bear instead of using an out house even though I haven't seen one in a long time.

 

[Skeet 028]

I really do despise spiders...like snakes. I find them fascinating...spiders especially when dead..Snakes I urge to go away. My wife has read this thread and actually said...these are "grown men?"...so...i mentioned the Anaconda she happened to see in the raspberry patch...It was a fairly small garter snake. I had to go take the poor little thing away she scared him so much. Of she reads this I WILL pay.I must say that she really did well with the very large 4 1/2 foot rattler out in the garden. She said it reared back and struck at her...so she wasted 5 44 shotshell loads on it cause it was "still wiggling"...Oh and then used the hoe on it JIC

 

[STCM(SW)]

At least a rattler lest you know its there.
now copper heads and cotton mouths are not giving you any warning....

 

[glowe]

Let me offer another "Sweet Dreams" song. If Bruce is the Boss, Roy was the Owner of the times!

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHr38NcFyts[/ame]

Here is another one by Roy:

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s0R8XZeIpy4[/ame]

 

[wuluf]

I once woke up in the middle of the night with the echo of crunching in my head, and a foul, foul taste in my mouth..

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[swsig]

And, of course...

[ame]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6KR52lEWLEM[/ame]

 

[pawngal]

When I shower I am frequently observed by a Daddy Long Legs (Spider!, get your mind out of the gutter)

 

[SMSgt]

Perhaps this will help you sleep better. From Britannica:

There goes my excuse for my weight gain.

 

[oldbrownhat]

...This whole thread gives me the creeps!

Thanks for the heads-up. I won't post a pic of the giant blue tarantula.