Obmama Care

[montezumaz]

Welcome to the Obama Care Emergency Help Line!

For Spanish, press 1.
For Urdu, press 2.
For Arabic, press 3.
For Farsi, press 4.
For Hmong, press 5.
For all other languages, press 6.

6

Thank you! Did you press 6? If yes, press 1. If no, press 2.

1

Thank you. To speed processing of your call, please key in your 9-digit social security number, whether it was illegally obtained or not.

5 5 5 4 4 3 3 3 3

Thank you. Did you enter five five five four four three three three three? If yes, press 7, if no, press 3.

7

Thank you. Please enter the nature of your ailment, condition or problem.

For Achondroplasia, press 1-0-0-0. For Acne, press 1-0-0-1. For Acrodysostosis, press 1-0-0-2. For Acromegaly, press 1-0-0-3. For Adenoids, press 1-0-0-4. For Adrenoleukodystrophy, press 1-0-0-5. For Age-related macular degeneration, press 1-0-0-6. For Agoraphobia, press 1-0-0-7. For Albinism, press 1-0-0-8. For AIDS, press 1-0-0-8. For Alcohol poisoning, press 1-0-0-9. For Alpha-1-antitrypsin deficiency, press 1-0-1-0. For Alport syndrome, press 1-0-1-1. For Altitude sickness, press 1-0-1-2. For Alzheimer's disease, press 1-0-1-3. For Amyloidosis, press 1-0-1-4. For Anaemia, press 1-0-1-5. For --

*

Thank you. To enter the nature of your ailment, condition or problem by name, use the touch-tone keypad to spell the name, then press the pound sign.

4 (h) ... 3 (e) ... 2 (a) ... 7 (r) ... 8 (t) ... 2 (a) ... 8 (t) ... 8 (t) ... 2 (a) ... 2 (c) ... 5 (k) ... #

Did you select HEART ATTACK? If yes, press 2, if no, press 9.

2

On a scale of 1 to 9, with 9 being excruciating pain, how much pain are you in?

9

Enter your age, followed by the pound sign.

7 4 #

I'm sorry, the maximum age of treatment for this condition, as determined by Federal Coordinating Council for Comparative Effectiveness Research is Seventy-three. Thank you for calling.

Good-bye.

7 2 # ... 7 2 # ... 72 #

*** Click ***

[Call recording terminated]

 

[morsecode]

Not too far off.

Last year I decided after 10 years of no health coverage to buy insurance through the State of CT Charter Oak plan. Only cost me $75.00 month. Know how long I kept it? Two months. No insurance was actually the better scenario.

In Feb I re-entered mainstream middle class (taking an office job with, of all things, an evil insurance company) and so ended up with a company plan to which I contribute $115 or so per month. I haven't had to use it, but I haven't had to play phone twister to get answers about coverage.

Far as I can see the only thing the government runs well is the Post Office.

 

[Crazy K38]

metallica has a song for this 'Sad but True'

 

[2Loud4You]

metallica has a song for this 'Sad but True'

Or Sanitarium

 

[Crazy K38]

Or Sanitarium

lets hope not

 

[deralte]

Far as I can see the only thing the government runs well is the Post Office.
Is that why the taxpayer has to give the Post Office several billion dollars each quarter in subsidies? They haven't broke even since UPS came on the scene.

 

[Bear Country 88]

Well then - Amtrack.

Doh!

 

[PALADIN85020]

I can believe it would be just like that. Only worse.

 

[Spotteddog]

That's a beauty Monte!

 

[BOB THE PALINDROME]

Oh Canada.........

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

As opposed to the new Blue Cross and Blue Shield Plan:

1.Please send a blank sheet of your personal letterhead and account numbers of all your bank and brokerage accounts.

1. Thank you for your non-refundable payment of everything you have, but I am afraid that your policy is only in effect so long as you have no claims. Good bye....