You see people you haven't seen in years, and sometimes you don't recognize them.

Charlie and I went to his uncle's wake yesterday (funeral is today). It's a close family but there are people he hasn't seen in 20 years.

When we walked in, a middle-aged man and woman were standing near the door. I had never seen them before and assumed they were from the neighborhood or some sort of relative. Charlie tapped him on his arm and said, "Hi Billy." Billy turned and shook his hand and automatically said, "How are ya?" Charlie said, "This is my wife, Barbara." Billy shook my hand and gave me a kiss on the cheek. The wife stuck out her hand and said, "I'm Geri, Billy's wife." I said, "I'm Barbara, Charlie's wife."

And that's when they were stunned to realize who we were: Charlie had been married to Geri over 20 years ago!

Geri married Billy about 10 years ago. Billy is divorced from Charlie's first cousin, but they all still live in town, only a couple of blocks away, and are involved with the family because of the now-adult children and grandchildren. Geri had been trying to avoid Charlie at family functions/weddings for the last 20 years and wouldn't invite us to weddings/christenings. You could've heard a pin drop.



I didn't know who they were and they didn't know who I was but they didn't recognize Charlie at all (and he was wearing transitional sunglasses which were still dark, so that didn't help because they couldn't see his eyes) so they were definitely caught off guard. We've been laughing all evening & morning about it. I don't think they're laughing, though.

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That's hillarious. This is one I'll read my wife since it doesn't involve guns. When we were at my sister's wedding I was sitting at a table with my ex-wife. My current wife was a few feet away dancing. An older cousin sat down with us and said, " I haven't seen you two since your wedding". I said, "it's been a while. I'm not married to her anymore. I'm married to her", pointing to my wife.

Last time I ran into my ex wife she was with her girlfriend, but that's another topic altogether.

My son-in-laws brother's wife's mother died recently and when my 9 year old grandaughter got the news they were going to a neighboring state for the funeral she was very excited and blurted out : " Road trip ! Are we going to rent one of those houses with wheels. Funerals are really fun.... except for that dead person and all those crying people." Her only other funeral experience was a year before and what she remembered was all the fun she had playing with all her cousins that she doesn't see very often.

All this ex stuff is hard for me to follow. Anyone else have this problem?

I was ok until "when we walked in", after that it got confusing. Best advise I can think of is don't follow your ex as it may be considered stalking and that could get a person in trouble.

That's not necessarily a bad thing......

Bleep 'em if they can't take a joke.

My step-granddaughter has six "grandparents." Her father's mother and father both eventually remarried after divorcing. By now, we all get along (none of us were strangers in the first place, and the two second spouses weren't involved with the original divorce).

Six is better than four, no?

Down here Funerals really don't get fun until the guests start to throw up -that is usually the point at which the first fight breaks out!! Usually between one of the deceased's "street children" who's name got left out of the program and the child who got to the house first and made off with the 1985 Taurus.

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I guess you're talking about a cheap car. I thought it was funnier when I first read it and thought you were talking about a cheap revolver.

One cannot help but wonder what with all the exes, etc. Which ones are there to sing and eulogize and say nice things about the deceased....

AND...

Which ones are there to make damn sure he/she is DEAD!.

I often think the differences between weddings and funerals is that at funerals people are generally better behaved and you can show up without an invitation and still be welcomed. In late 1996 I saw the obit in a local paper of the father of a casual friend-he was a WWII veterand and retired Reserve officer. In the receiving line before the start of the closure ceremony I expressed my condolences to her. She had a jolt when she saw me, I though she was going to cry, then she embraced me in a bear hug-she was a well endowed lass, too bad it couldn't have been in happier circumstances. Another time I attended the funeral of a woman I knew in town, her son was a high school classmate and her daughter and I had been sort of friends in high school. I hadn't seen the daughter in 25 years, she spent most of the service sobbing on my shoulder. Her husband later thanked me for it.

Some families really know how to put the "fun" in "funeral".

The ex didn't manage to make it to the burial or luncheon today (home with a hangover, I think), but Billy was there and came running up to us, now that the shock had worn off and he could get a closer look. He was pretty cordial, considering they keep it in the family.

Their town is so small that they run out of people to marry and have to recycle.

I recall once Barb, (20 years ago now) calling the ex's house asking to speak to the boy. I'd used his family nick name when asking to speak to him. She was confused as to how a "stranger" knew the name?

Probably the strangest funeral I've been to was for a guy that had been married three times . All three wives attended. The wife he had shot had a beautiful singing voice and sang at the funeral. He was drunk when he shot her which affected his aim and he only wounded her. His intent was to kill her. She lied to the police and said it was an accident.

All this marryin' and re-marryin' reminded me of this song.

YouTube - I'm my own grampa

I can tell you this. At Italian funerals, there is no such thing as quiet at the funeral home! You'd think that you walked into a house party! Everybody is yapping and shaking hands, and talking loudly.


WG840

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Some of the best fights I've ever seen involved folks who died without a will. As soon as the deceased is made known as such the maneuvering begins. Items begin to disappear. Fake wills suddenly appear. Unknown heirs suddenly show up. I have been asked on more than one occassion to hang around the cemetary, after I made a funeral escort, to help keep the peace. I saw one recently where a deed was quit claimed with the assistance of a lawyer who failed to do a title search. The person who now "owns" the land is in jail awaiting trial on several felonies. This one isn't over and I'm sure the end result is going to be interesting. Most of us on this forum are 50+ and if you don't have one, I would strongly recommend that you get a detailed will drawn up by a competent attorney. Make sure you mention any illigitimate children you may have.

As Barb mentioned, you run into people at wakes and funerals that you haven't seen in decades and probably won't ever see them again unless they predecease you and you go to their funeral. The wakes are always interesting. Lots of food and sometimes booze. I know several folks who met their significant other at at funeral wake. Just make sure you aren't kin to them.

Ya'll are making my head spin.

Unknown heirs?-how abou an unknown spouse? I know a couple of cases where that happened. Also I think one of the rules of wills is that you can only bequeath what you actually own. And in this day and age I'd be worried about 2nd and 3rd mortgages, home equity loans, etc. I recall one family I was reasonably well acquainted with, the old man died, to use an old phrase he didn't leave them "two nickels to rub together."

That was a great one Barb!

I'll be your husband's ex failed to show up partly out of embarrassment too for not recognizing someone she'd been married too once . . . plus the fact that she knows he's much better off now and she can't stand that fact!

Naturally, this would all drive her to drink more too.

That's a classic!!! Thanks for sharing.

T.

When my wife's grandfather died, the family honored his wish to have an old fashioned Irish wake.
They had grandpa laid out on the kitchen door setting on sawhorses. A couple old old gals dressed in black; no one was sure of who they were exactly, were sobbing in the living room while the whiskey and cold cuts were consumed in the dining room next to grandpa.
The party was in full swing when the family dog swiped some meat and ducked under the sawhorse, toppling gramps onto the floor.
The undertaker (mortician) was called and everything set right and brushed up and the party resumed.

Butte Montana mid 1960's believe it or not.

There, I fixed it for you. All you really had to say was Irish and Butte and it is very believable.

bob

Good one Barb. For a minute there I thought you were writing the "back story" for one of Sherrill's tales. (you're not his ghost writer are you?)

Bob

Feel free to take a swipe at the Italians, but I can't resist.


What is the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral?

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One less drunk Irishman!


WG840

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Freedom above all else.