My lawn has been relatively feces free for the last several years so mowing was uninterrupted. This summer the pictured visitor has decided my back yard is his personal toilet. If you thought dog poop was a pain try cleaning up after a bear. He doesn't have a yard to throw it back to like the neighbor's dog.

I don’t believe a word of it! Everyone knows that Bears poop in the woods.

If he is bothering you just tell him to move along.

Seriously, very nice bear.

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Ipsis Rebus Dictantitbus

If he won't leave your yard alone, I guess it's time for some new Wellington's.
Good luck with asking him to move along! TACC1

I thought they went in the woods? But I'm a city boy....

Oh wait... you LIVE in the woods.

....mmm...Remote controlled lawn sprinklers? Maybe motion activated?

Beeman .177 to the rump?

Where does the fine line lay, between harassment and lawn preservation?

I hear bears are good eatin'

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On the Oak Savannah

Is the Pope Catholic?

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Fidelis Ad Mortem

Good lookin' bear. I think he's innocent.

"It weren't me done it.....it was the raccoon,I seen 'im do it..honest!"

The sprinkler idea may work but I don't think that I would want to face a mad charging bear with just a Beeman.

There is a surefire cure for that.



Warner Bros. Pictures 2008

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Regards,
Guy-Harold Smith II

Ya could always try pushing his nose in the pile.

.....(in a firm tone) BAD BEAR, BAD BEAR! Or get a real big litter box!

You could tell him to scat (then again, he's leaving some for you already). Personally, I'd be looking forward to opening day of bear season. The sprinklers might work, but, then again, the bear might decide its great fun to run through the sprinklers, especially if its hot, and could even invite his friends over to play. Just be careful and keep your head on a swivel when you barbecue in the back yard, bears are not known for their polite table manners!

a newspaper might work?

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WILL WORK FOR AMMO!

Can't be your yard, it's not raining.

Emory

Not only do they fecalate in the woods-they fecalate on the lawn.
Why don't you go out and see what he's been eatin' like they do in the movies.

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Forum consigliere

all I can think of right now is Ron White talking about the guy who got ate by a bear.

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Soli Deo Gloria

Go punch him in the nose, that ought to move one of you along.

I don't think I would mess with that bear.

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I drank what? - Socrates

I think he's just looking for Boo-Boo and the pick-a-nic-basket.

Time to file for a bear tag.

OR

Just post signs that say "No Bears Allowed"... the anti-gunners think it works...

he would make a nice rug!

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WILL WORK FOR AMMO!

Maybe it's your crazy neighbor wearing a bear costume?

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Fidelis Ad Mortem

"City Slickers" pay good money to see bears in cages....start your own bear attraction!

sounds mean but..

the personal or key-chain sized cans of pepper-spray wrapped in bacon will make him move off.

we were told to do this by the ranger, instead of shooting a curious black bear, when we had the cabin in Pa..

put out four of the "pepper-bacon bombs", found three the next day and haven't seen the bear since..

I thought you were going to tell us that YOUR bathroom was "Out of Order".

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Miss My Buddy crsides!!

To answer a few of the questions, there are no raccoons in Alaska so he can't fool me there and yes you can tell what he's eating (mostly berries and such so he might survive the summer). The garbage eating bears are usually trapped and destroyed.

We live with bears all summer long but I never had the toilet problem before. Maybe he's afraid to go in the woods because of a bigger brown bear in the area. I'm hoping the brown bear doesn't decide my back yard is his toilet as I'll need a bigger shovel.

You know the drill!!!


Get Off My Lawn !.jpg

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Laus Deo! <><

Hey, that's the little Cottonelle bear and there are no bits of toilet paper stuck to his furry rump! I guess it works as advertised.

Chris

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/at least she finds me handy.

The bear is as sick and tired of using your back yard as you are of him using it. Here is the sure fire fix, simply provide him a clean well supplied facility with assorted reading material and the bear will happily use it. How do you think my neighbors cured me of visiting their back yard?

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Always Stay Strong!

I'm ashamed to admit that I know those Bears are hawking Charmin TP, and not Cottonelle.

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Soli Deo Gloria

And don't they wipe with a rabbit?

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Proverbs 14:7

THAT'S why the Charmin is so soft. Rabbits! That's how they can get the bears to use it in the commercial.

Another mystery of life SOLVED.

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Soli Deo Gloria

Black bears might. In Montana, Grizzlies wipe with a Bobcat or several.

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Front sight and squeeze

With a name like Old Bear you are uniquely qualified to speak on this matter.

Listen to old Bear, fix up a nice bearoom for the bear to use. Stock it well with rabbits for the bear to clean up on or eat at his discretion. Also a few rolls of Charmin TP in case he is a charminbear, and just in case he is an older bear maybe provide a tube of Preparation H. Hemmy's can be a pain to bear even if you are a bear.

captorquewrench:

Thank you for the clarification. You are, of course, 100% correct. I guess the Charmin ad campaign has not been very effective at penetrating my thick skull.

I gather from your post that there is kid pressure applied to the parental units to buy the "bear TP". Those ad execs are crafty devils.

Chris

Hmmm, we do have a bunch of bunnies all over town. Several years ago several people decided domestic rabbits were fun to raise and then let them loose when it became too much work. They procreated like, well bunnies, and now are everywhere.

I need to figure out how to get them on a toilet paper roll. Won't their little ears get tangled up?

HOT WIRE (works on horses and cattle). Check at your friendly Farm Supply Store.

Wow! Beautiful animal!

I wouldn't care to have one in my yard, though!

Maybe there is a bigfoot in the woods that he's scared of. Ponders.

Nice goin' Gatorfarmer, now I have to start looking for signs of Sasquatch.

For those who provided bear-be-gone ideas, I appreciate the suggestions but I chose to live in an area frequented by bears for the last several thousand years at least. Most of us learn to live with them and encounters are fairly rare considering the numbers and proximity. The last fatal mauling in our town was back in the 1970s and I can only recall a handful of near misses in the thirty five years I lived here.

Mostly the fatalities are the bears. they get hit on the highway on a regular basis and the problem garbage eating bears usually end up in a barrel trap (they just can't resist day old doughnuts). Relocation rarely works so they are taken to the landfill and dispatched. You can read my older thread on the use of a 45 auto with Federal HST rounds and penetration on black and brown bear skulls.

Before turning this into a what to use on bears thread, I do not recommend a 45 auto for bear protection but we used the 45 auto and found it to work very well if placed properly. The hard part is getting the round in the right place if the bear is chewing on you.

Question- Where does the 400lb black bear Poop?

Answer- Wherever he wants to. (rimshot)

Maybe if you sprinkled a litte poop from one of those huge coastal brownies around the perimeter of your yard (not on the grass) the smell would keep this one away.

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Jim
Many K and N Frames

nope. they don't pressure me to buy much including Charmin.

I think...if I can devise a way to get rabbits on a TP roll I could could make a fortune off BearRoom(TM) decor.

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Soli Deo Gloria

The really bad ones us a porcupine.

The use of a sprinkler mentioned early in the post isnt a very good idear. Maybe he brings his family for to take an shower.

Anyhow you don't have the neighbour dog in your lawn now.

I envy your longevity!

No doubt that is a beautiful animal! I am torn between wanting to shoo it away and provide it food so I can observe it daily!

Those motion detector sprinklers work well for rabbits and deer I understand, I would think Mr. Black Bear would also detest being blasted every time he moseys into your yard. Just remember to turn off the water before you wander around your yard, and ESPECIALLY when the Mrs. goes out in the yard....

I think if you blast her you'll think the bear is the least of your troubles.....

Have a nice big meal of chili , eggs , saurkraut and cheap beer , and then go out and 'mark your own territory'!

As far as he knows...