For those of you that would like a good home security system but don't want to pay what they want for the hi-tech systems.
HOW TO INSTALL A SOUTHERN HOME SECURITY SYSTEM
1. Go to Goodwill and buy a pair of size 14 -16 men's work boots.
2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of Guns & Ammo Magazine.
3. Put four giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.
4. Leave a note on your door that reads ......
Bubba,
Bertha, Duke, Slim, & I went for more ammo and beer. Be back in an
hour. Don't mess with the pit bulls. They got the mailman this
morning and messed him up bad. I don't think Killer took part, but it
was hard to tell from all the blood. Anyway, I locked all four of 'em
in the house. Better wait outside. Be right back.
Cooter

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...east wind...rain...