James bond, an alcoholic....Really???

the ringo kid

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If anyone finds this offensive? it is NOT...meant to be.

A tongue-in-cheek British study on the spy.

007 boozed so much that in all reality he would have had the tremulous hands of a chronic alcoholic, according to an offbeat study published by the British Medical Journal. If statistics are any guide, Bond would have died from alcohol-and tobacco-related diseases in his mid-fifties, it says. And the paper darkly questions Bond's supposed success as a womanizer. Given the vast quantities of drink he consumed before bedding a conquest, the evidence may not have stood up, it says.

The conclusions are made by a trio of British doctors who read all 14 of the original James Bond books by Ian Fleming, noting when and what the character drank. Two of the novels were excluded were: "The Spy Who Loved Me" which was written in the first person by a waitress and thus deemed an unreliable source, and: Octopussy" and also The Living Daylights since its a compendium of short stories that also fell short of the mark because it was not one single coherent tale.

That left 12 novels, which yielded 123.5 days for analysis. Of these, 36 days were booze-free because of incarceration or in hospital. This leaves 87.5 days, during which Britain's top spy glugged down a whopping 1,150 units of alcohol, or 92 units per week--four times the recommended amount.

"James Bond's level of alcohol intake puts him at high risk of multiple alcohol-relates diseases and an early death," says the tongue-in-cheek investigation.

The level of function as displayed in the books is inconsistent with the physical, mental and sexual functioning expected from someone drinking this much alcohol.

On a cruel note, it concludes: "James Bond was unlikely to be able to stir his drinks, even if he would have wanted to, because of likely alcohol-induced tremor."

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I've pretty much always thought of *James Bond* *007* as many people - Kinda like Seal Team 6 - ALWAYS Seal Team 6, but not the same seals.

*James Bond - 007* retires or gets killed and another guy becomes *James Bond -007* and his given name is NEVER revealed.
Makes sense to me.
Also sets up a scenario where several of the previous players of Bond can be in the same movie working for either MI-6 And/Or the bad guys...
 
I'm not sure which is sillier - that three doctors had time to do this 'study' or that it actually made it into a peer-reviewed medical journal.

But I'm sure it's pretty silly. "If statistics are any guide...", feh. Statistics do not directly apply to individual cases - - per my statistics texts!
 
I've always had a problem with any actor being 'Bond' after Roger Moore.

Sean Connery was the real deal for me, Moore was good I thought, after that I haven't watched more than a few minutes of a Bond movie.

It just doesn't seem right to me.

.
 
I remember growing up in the 60's and it seemed to me that people drank and smoked a lot more then than they do now. I think that we have morphed into a collective group of pantywaists. Those guys back then were tough-their livers could take it-their lungs could take it. Today a diet of Camels and Johnny Walker Black would kill most people, but not back then, And you know what? They had the Playboy Club too. What do we have today? We got Hooters.:rolleyes: Men have been beat down to where they are almost unrecognizable from what they were in the late 50's early 60's.
It's time we got back to grey glenplaid suits, white shirts, thin black knit ties and a Fedora. Momma stayed home and took care of the kids, in exchange for which she got a nice house and an allowance. Men were even considerate enough to have a mistress so they wouldn't have to bother the wife. She got to go to the coast with the kids for the summer while dad stayed back in the city with the mistress and worked, getting over for the weekends.
A bucolic existence if you ask me.
Now we got a bunch of pantywaists who manscape, sip lattes and have a protein bar after work before going rollerblading with the wife.
Whew!!! Ya hit a nerve there.
 
James bond was a fictional character with a fictional liver, fictional lungs and a fictional you-know what. Therefore he could drink &smoke to fictional excess and bed a fictional amount of women in any fictional day. :rolleyes: BTW, I would hope these Doctors would have better things to do. :confused:
 
i guess we should thank heaven for small favors - - these docs apparently didn't also point out the statistical likelihood of Bond surviving the number of firefights, execution attempts, and explosions he was in.

To say nothing of the jealous husband/jilted lover factor.
 
The culture is different, as noted. I think Bond would qualify today, and correctly, as an alcohol abuser, based on that consumption level. It was not unusual, either. I can recall working on a hotel in the late 70s, and most of the business travelers we had were drinking more than I did at the time as an undergrad with no sense.
 
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I wonder what that study cost someone.

The fictional character James works hard; so, like others that have hard dangerous jobs in real life, he plays hard. I don't think living to old age was foremost in his mind.

A hard drinking, smoking, womanizing Bond is the Bond we want. The pc Brosnan 007 just never worked for me.
 
I remember watching my first Bond movie as an older teenager (From Russia With Love). I sat there and wanted to trade places with the fictional character. I remember "what is your name? Bond, James Bond" I remember a film where Connery asked the villain "Wasn't there a woman here recently, this is a woman's shotgun?" The villain replies, "Oh Mr. Bond, you know a lot about shotguns." and Bond replies, "No, I know a lot about women."

Let him drink, after all he is a fictional character (with a fictional liver).
 
Nowadays.....

Nowadays they can even take the fun out of being a double-naught spy.

Bond always:

Travels to exotic places
Drives like he's at Le Mans
Dresses to a 'T'
Gambles expertly
Drinks and smokes when he wants
Gets the girl
and always gets the bad guy(s).

And he can do it again and again for decades and still be in his 30s.

And there is surprise that we want to be like him???
 
I remember watching my first Bond movie as an older teenager (From Russia With Love). I sat there and wanted to trade places with the fictional character. I remember "what is your name? Bond, James Bond" I remember a film where Connery asked the villain "Wasn't there a woman here recently, this is a woman's shotgun?" The villain replies, "Oh Mr. Bond, you know a lot about shotguns." and Bond replies, "No, I know a lot about women."

Let him drink, after all he is a fictional character (with a fictional liver).

"Thunderball"
 
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