Yesterday is history. Tomorrow's a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why we call it the present.

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David Reynolds

I ain’t as good as I once was. But I’m as good once as I ever was….. renowned philosopher Tobey Keith.

"Time flies like an arrow. . . fruit flies like a banana."

~ Groucho

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

Be yourself; Every one else is all ready taken...
Oscar Wilde

"I don’t want to belong to any club that would accept me as one of its members."

Groucho Marx

"There is nothing government can give you that it hasn't taken from you in the first place."

Winston Churchill

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

That's all there is, there ain't no more, and what was here is gone.

Uncle Ted, WNEP TV personality and decorated WWII combat veteran.

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BTDT, Got The T-Shirt

"You will never get paid more than you do if you don't do more than you are paid for."

My mother.

"No matter where you go, there you are!"
My older brother Roy.

He also told me..
"Don't get married.
If you do, don't get divorced.
If you do get divorced, don't remarry.
If you get remarried, don't adopt her kids..."

Roy is pretty smart!

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"I also cook."

Eleanor Roosevelt also said sailors have the dirtiest minds but the cleanest bodies of any other service. (so I am told)

Never lie to the Bungee guy about how much you weigh. Personal experience

"Nobody goes there anymore, it's too crowded." Yogi
Joe

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Behavior Creates Destiny

My gf, who teaches genetics and molecular biology at Univ., esp. likes that one.
(Fruit flies - Drosophila melanogaster - are her model organism.)

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"I drank WHAT?" (Socrates)

"Whiskey's for drinking; water's for fighting over."

Why can't people just tell you what they are doing, instead of thinking you are a fool? Me

"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read."
~Groucho Marx
"Today is yesterday's tomorrow and tomorrow's yesterday."
~Me

I wish I had a nickle for every time somebody gave me their two cents worth.

Me, just now, in a rare moment of lucid brilliance.

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Regards,
Lee Jarrett

No one cares what you had for dinner.

Lead, follow, or get out of the way!

What do you mean, we, Kemosabe?- My father, to me, many times. Much to his credit and my benefit.

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The best I can with what I got

"I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous."

I thought I was wrong once but I was mistaken. Quote from my ex wife.

I learn from the mistakes of people who take my advice.

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Music/Sports/Beer fan

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt."

Attributed to Abraham Lincoln

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.
Yogi Bera

Always..... , no , wait,.... Never.....
Steve Martin

Attributed to Otto von Bismarck: "Only a fool learns from his own mistakes. I learn from the mistakes of others."

Toby Keith stole that one.