BREAKING: Smith & Wesson Files for Bankruptcy, Citing "Too Many Westerns"

[collectordude]

BREAKING: Smith & Wesson Files for Bankruptcy, Citing "Too Many Westerns"

In a shocking turn of events, legendary firearms manufacturer Smith & Wesson has announced that it is filing for bankruptcy, blaming "an oversaturation of cowboy movies" for an unexpected decline in sales.

"People keep watching old Westerns and assuming they can just inherit a six-shooter from their grandpa," a company spokesperson said. "Meanwhile, modern action movies are all about lasers and CGI explosions—nobody appreciates a classic revolver anymore!"

The company also admitted that rising ammunition costs had led many gun owners to preserve their bullets like fine wine, further hurting sales.

Experts speculate that this could lead to a bidding war for the iconic brand name, with some rumors suggesting a hostile takeover by Nerf.

Smith & Wesson assures customers that existing firearms will still be supported, though they are considering rebranding as "S&W Water Blasters" to appeal to a younger audience.

 

[TX-Dennis]

Nice!

I don't see anyone falling for this one unlike the post of facebook claiming Musk has announced a new Tesla bass boat. Most of the commenters appear to believe it's real even though it's an obvious joke.

 

[collectordude]

It would be cool to have electric boats. But as I understand at the moment, because of the heavy batteries you don't get much rage out of an electric boat. Gasoline is something like 100x more energy dense than lithium ion batteries.

 

[riverrat38]

They could make a hybrid model: electric motor and oars!
Or, maybe a hand cranked generator to recharge the batteries.

73,
Rick

 

[soFlaNative]

"Nerf"? Why not?
Might appease the hoplophobes and other dimwits.

 

[dave1918a2]

I heard that Tesla is going to build a E Plane that will go from Chicago to NYC without a re-charge.

 

[ImprovedModel56Fan]

I heard that Tesla is going to build a E Plane that will go from Chicago to NYC without a re-charge.

Only on daytime flights. At night, too many people using overhead lights will severely limit the range.

 

[SSGRock]

Bankruptcy

April Fool today.

 

[lihpster]

Actually, as they have recently discovered what the public seems to be clamoring for, Tesla has swapped all production to their new product: the scratch resistant firepit.

 

[paknheat]

I heard that Tesla is going to build a E Plane that will go from Chicago to NYC without a re-charge.

It should fly all the way to the scene of the crash just fine.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

 

[pharmer]

It would be cool to have electric boats.....

Wait a minute; there is a company in Groton Connecticut started by Holland (the submarine dude) in 1899 named Electric Boat. Now how could an outfit with such a name survive 126 years without making electric boats? Joe

 

[TX-Dennis]

There are electric boats. The famous glass bottom boats at what used to be Aquarena Springs in San Marcos TX are electric powered. Now called Meadows Center for Water and the Environment part of Texas State University.

Also Mercury currently produces a handful of electric outboard motors. I don't know much about them other than that they exist.

 

[IAM Rand]

I knew it was a joke because I have been doing my part to keep them afloat. If they make a FPC in 45 I will again do my part to keep them afloat.

 

[Brian Parrish]

What does the Babylon Bee do for April Fool's Day?

 

[fordson]

That actually looks better then his truck…..