Bubble wrapped kids,

[Ivan the Butcher]

and their inability to communicate without an electronic devise!

We joke and talk about kids with helmets on for just about any activity in life today. And I think that avoiding brain damage, is a good thing! But I see our over protective and litigative society as having destroyed the current and next generation of young adults abilities to do basic communications. Things like, returning a greeting, or a question about directions, or in business: Looking at you when speaking or being spoken to!

My 4 children were born from 1979 to 1984, and left High School from 1998 to 2003. We taught them basic things like personal hygiene and social manners. But I'm finding a whole crop of 18 to 40 year old's that can't carry on a conversation with people they don't know!

At a buffet several years ago my oldest was 12ish and forgot some crackers for his salad. As he was moving towards the salad bar an older gentleman offered him a few packs of crackers that were surplus to his needs. My son stopped and thanked the man but refused the offer, and went on to get his own. The man looked at me and said, "You've taught him not to talk to strangers." I replied that all 4 kids were allowed talk to everyone they encountered, but not to go anywhere or take anything from strangers. (While my son didn't recognize him I knw this man was an elder in the church next door to the restaurant.) Then I said something that shocked the man: People train their kids not to talk to strangers for around 18 years, Then turn around and expect them to be able to be sales persons, service technicians, or even Missionaries without ever having talked to people they don't know, before in their life.

Well, the above is still true, but now this 18+ age group doesn't really know how to actually use their voice! The tap-talk, text or e-mail everything, but their speech patterns are horrid!

Two years ago, our extended family was at Gettysburg and took the battlefield tour. Afterward there was a Q &A period. One of my 8 year old grandsons had a question about the artillery's effect on Picket's Charge. He raised his hand, waited his turn and ask in a clear 8 year old voice the question he had. Afterward several women approached my daughter with complements or questions on how did you get him to be so articulate? She smiled and responded that.... he wasn't allowed to text outside the family!

So, now it falls on us grandparents to fix this in our society, while we can, before one of the next generations doesn't know how to ask for a date!

Please contribute your observations and suggestions.

Ivan

 

[coltle6920]

Parents can't wait for their child's first words and later on wonder why they wont shut up. Not the child's fault.

Children need to converse. Parents need to make time to engage the child in meaningful conversation.

Get the child interested in reading. It stimulates their brain. They learn sentence construction. They learn the meaning of words by seeing them in context. This helps later on in conversing with others.

Just don't wait until your child is in their teens before you start.

 

[LVSteve]

This might be from Groucho Marx, but if not I'm pretty sure it came from a comedian...

"When I was a small child I was encouraged to walk and talk. As soon as I could, I was told to sit down and shut up".

No wonder we're all screwed up.

 

[Greyman50]

Raised my 2 to be polite , courteous and respectful. Attended private church school until high school. Can't say what daughter said first day of public school. Son has his own very successful flooring business in Va. , daughter has been Med. Surg. RN for 17 years. Grandkids are all doing very well, oldest grandson is in US Navy, already an E-5 in less than 4 years. Oldest granddaughter is in fashion business in NY, N.Y., youngest 2 grandkids still in school, granddaughter freshman in college, grandson in high school. Thank God they all made it so far.

 

[Old_Cop]

This past year and a half has badly hurt social skills for all of us.

 

[grover99]

The younger generation seems to have lost the basic social skills that I was taught by my parents and grew up with. I expect that they have their own way of interacting with each other. My grandson got married a few months ago and I sent them a nice wedding gift. never received a response and talking with other older members of the family no one received any kind of response or acknowledgment My son told me that the kids of today do not send thank you cards but rather text between each other. They are good kids and I guess us old fuddys will have to except that that is the way it is.

 

[SMSgt]

I've practically disowned my son's kids. They spend all their time behind closed doors with noses stuck in iphones or gameboys. I might see them for five minutes during one of their breaks. Not worth a 2-hour drive to see them.

 

[smithra_66]

Their generation will probably just adopt masking permanently from what they've seen after this past year. They probably think its normal for human beings to be like that at all times.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

My son told me that the kids of today do not send thank you cards but rather text between each other.

When we got back from our Honeymoon (May 1978) We had both our mothers and a few friends over the the "Gift Unwrapping Tea" and they supervised the writing of the Thank You Notes! They actually had an Emily Post book on eudicot, and made constant reference to it. The Thank You Notes were mailed as one group, 23 days after the Wedding (The last respectable date for anyone not on a world cruise!)

When my second son got married about 6 years ago, we started getting phone calls at 3 months, so we had a talk and cards went out around 10 weeks after the wedding. How scandalous! My suggestion was to tell them your world cruise was wonderful!

Mom's eudicot book also suggested that I give my bride a wedding gift of a 2 seat sports car! And that she give me a framed picture of herself. I at that point told mom, I was going to burn the book, and anyone still clutching it!

Ivan

 

[grover99]

I have a great nephew getting married in Oct. Have already bought a gift and it will be interesting to see what if any response I get after I send it to them. I did notice that they still follow the old policy of setting up a gift registry and sending wedding invitations. If no response this time I think I will ignore my last two grand kids when they get married.

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

I have a great nephew getting married in Oct. Have already bought a gift and it will be interesting to see what if any response I get after I send it to them. I did notice that they still follow the old policy of setting up a gift registry and sending wedding invitations. If no response this time I think I will ignore my last two grand kids when they get married.

Much is so different than 40 years ago. For "Milestone" gifts, there were traditional areas of gift and thought was given as to the recipient's needs. Now everything is Cash, Checks, or Gift Cards. No thought required, means no response required either.

Thing are different these days:

One of the prim and proper friends of the wife's family, was so disappointed that this dream girl was marring me! (The old bat had been my elementary music teacher). If anyone had listened to her, our 4 kids & 8 grandkids wouldn't be here to save the world! When mom came home from the shower and told me of the old bat's disappointment, I had a smile for days! I don't think the old bat even was invited to the wedding, so she missed that churches social event of the season! (and not one person missed her!)

The important thing is and will be, In 40 years, what memory will those grandkids have of you?

Ivan

 

[Golddollar]

Happily I am seeing at least one example of learning to send thank you cards to gift givers. One of my cousins has two sons, one a newborn and another whose birthday is the same day as mine, just 66 years later. Since I just got the birth announcement of the newborn and the other boy's birthday was coming up, I got a card for each boy and enclosed the appropriate number of Eisenhower dollar coins for each of them. I just received a thank you card from my cousin, and darn if on one page of the card my 3 year old little cousin printed out his own thank you to me. My cousin is teaching her son well.

As time goes on I'll probably have to switch to the Golden Dollars since they don't weigh as much.

 

[Tom Beavert]

If you raise your children well, and don't spoil them, you can spoil your grandchildren. If you spoil your children, you can raise your grandchildren.
TB

 

[Ivan the Butcher]

If you raise your children well, and don't spoil them, you can spoil your grandchildren. If you spoil your children, you can raise your grandchildren.
TB

I see this so often! I have a pastor that warned one I my friends the his wife messed up/spoiled her kids and is now raising her grandkids, She has made the same mistakes with the grand kids and best be preparing to raise her GREAT GRAND KIDS! She was terrified! for about 2 days, then back to the same old stuff. I also saw my wife's aunt mess up her 4 kids and raise one granddaughter into a mess, It almost makes me want to enforce some sort of sterilization plan for those that can't or won't tow the line!

I love my kids and grandkids, but I feel that I paid my debt to society. I trained enough of responsibility into my kids that they are currently paying their debt, and the line will properly continue.

Ivan

 

[BLACKHAWKNJ]

Kids learn their manners and etiquette and how to behave in social situations from their parents and other "adults" and "elders" bot from formal instruction and observation and if they are set a bad example....
iPhones, video games-simply the 21st Century version of TV as the electronic babysitter. In my youth I met plenty of "senior citizens" with no manners, now, at age 71, I still meet them.
Among my treasures are a thank you note I received from the mother of a friend who passed away too soon-I attended his funeral. And the thank you note from a high school classmate. We were not close then or now, but she organized our 50th reunion, a few months later I attended the inurnment service for her father, a WWII vet, Army, served in Italy. She told me as they were sitting around the dinner table going over their plans for the next day one of her daughters opened the card I sent her. Her husband passed away last November, only 72. He was a doctor, battling Alzheimer's. I sent her a condolence card then a holiday card, I received a very nice-and very personal-handwritten note from her.

 

[sigp220.45]

Give a gift, then forget about it. Even I, resident non-believer, know there are verses about giving without expecting anything (which includes thank you notes) in return.

Life. Too short.

 

[Peak53]

Steps to raise a good kid:
Confiscate the phone
Send them outside
Don't let 'em in til the streetlights come on unless injured
Skinned knees and elbows don't count
Broken wrist equals let's talk
All gifts must be answered through a medium the giver can access

 

[375hh1973]

My buddy's daughter graduated high school during pandemic. No party, etc. I sent her a card with a bunch of cash. Couple weeks later I got an email thanking me for the gift.

To me, I would much rather get an email. Can be saved in my inbox. A written note would get lost.

And to be honest, if I hadnt received either one, it wouldnt have bothered me in the least. I gave her the money to enjoy, not to see if she sent me a note

 

[smithra_66]

My buddy's daughter graduated high school during pandemic. No party, etc. I sent her a card with a bunch of cash. Couple weeks later I got an email thanking me for the gift.

To me, I would much rather get an email. Can be saved in my inbox. A written note would get lost.

And to be honest, if I hadnt received either one, it wouldnt have bothered me in the least. I gave her the money to enjoy, not to see if she sent me a note

A handwritten note is much more personal and takes more effort. I'd never send a thank-you email for something like a graduation gift.

Good for her for knowing not to do that.

 

[Chubbo]

Bubble wrapped Kids, are doing exactly as they were trained from birth to do. Some parents, in the extreme love of their offspring, teach them to believe, that the universe was created expressly for them, and that they are incapable of doing wrong. Without belittling any of those pampered children, What other outcome could be expected? Most parents are relentless in protecting their offspring, and their actions, be they correct, or incorrect. The love of a parent, is a formidable force, and Heaven to contend with. It'ts now out of control, and I see no solution to our scary, despicable situation.