Careful, They Are Out There !

[oldfella]

IDIOT SIGHTING
I handed the teller at my bank a withdrawal slip for $400.00
I said "May I have large bills, please"

She looked at me and said "I'm sorry sir, all the bills are the same size."
When I got up off the floor I explained it to her....


IDIOT SIGHTING
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.'

This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS

IDIOT SIGHTING
We had to have the garage door repaired.
The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4.
He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.'

We haven't used Sears repair since.
IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill.
Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter.
She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back.
She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request.
I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.'
The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING
I live in a semi rural area.
We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office
to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'

From Kingman , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.'
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
-- From Kansas City

IDIOT SIGHTING
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'

Happened in Birmingham , Ala.



IDIOT SIGHTING
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'

She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS

IDIOT SIGHTING
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,'
our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.'
Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.


IDIOT SIGHTING
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.



STAY ALERT!

They walk among us......and they VOTE

Pete

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[Jswiney9]

I feel so bad for this, I really do.

We have a kid at work who has no clue whatsoever about anything. He walked up to me yesterday and asked me how the saw I was running was working (foot pedal) without me using my hands. He looked amazed and he has said some unbelievably stupid stuff the last couple of days so i said "mind power" he looked at me funny and said Bull (crap) there aint no way. I raised my hands in the air, looked at the board funny and said oh yeah, watch this. I hit the pedal and the blade came up and he about died. Ive never seen somebody freak out like that before. He honestly looked at me like I was a Jedi from star wars.

 

[zoom6zoom]

My sister came to visit my house for the first time. She asked what kind of heat system I had, to which I replied, "gas". Looking out my back window, she asked, "where's your tank?".

I told her she'd been living out in the boonies too long.

 

[firestrat]

Thanks for this thread, it gave me quite a few chuckles!

 

[P&R Fan]

I like the deer crossing sign one, but the sign that really offends me is the one they put up in residential neighborhoods. It has a picture of a kid and says "Slow Children".
That is totally offensive. Those poor kids can't help it if they're slow, and the city shouldn't tease them about it.

 

[The Last Standing Knight]

This thread reminds me that these people exist...

...they not only vote; they breed.

That scares the living daylights out of me.

 

[old bear]

About 25 years ago I witnessed this at a local florists shop.

Student at a very good and prestigious university wanted to send flowers to girl fried, back home. Florist advised he could send them by wire. Student was concerned that flowers could be damaged when sent by wire. The kid had no clue.

 

[gamedic]

During the George Bush/ John Kerry election a few years ago. We were sitting around the firestation watching one of the debates. When it went off one of the firemen looked at me and asked "which one of those guys is president now?"

 

[bubbiesdad]

During the George Bush/ John Kerry election a few years ago. We were sitting around the firestation watching one of the debates. When it went off one of the firemen looked at me and asked "which one of those guys is president now?"

When it went off one of the firemen looked at me and asked "which one of those guys is president now?"

Sounds like Captain material there.

 

[gamedic]

Well he's not a captain yet, but he is a lieutenant now! Ofcourse he can't spell lieutenant without looking at his name tag. haha.

 

[seagill]

Walked into a machine shop years ago just as everyone was going nuts. One of the guys had just cut off his finger on a band saw! When the foreman asked how it happened, he replied "I just went like this...." and proceeded to lop off another digit!

 

[tyusclan]

During the Bush/Kerry election I talked with a woman whose son had graduated from high school 3 years earlier and had done nothing but party for the whole 3 years. No college classes, no job applications, nothing. The parents were fine with him doing that because, '...he's gonna have to work the rest of his life.'

He had just got a job at Wal-mart unloading trucks right before the election. As far as she was concerned it was all Bush's fault that that was the best job he could find.

Then she starts in about 'all the jobs goin' to China.' I said, 'Yeah, we've lost a lot of jobs, but other jobs have replaced those. Jobs evolve. The economy evolves, etc.'

She looked at me and said, 'My son's unloading trucks at Wal-mart! Those jobs are going to China, too!'

I just looked at her for a second and said, 'This is a pointless conversation.' I have yet to figure out how someone in China is going to unload a truck in NW Florida.

 

[truckemup97]

Just after my wife and I married, my sister came up to Tulsa (about a 90 mile drive) to visit for a weekend. While we were driving around one afternoon, my sister asked what time it was. I looked at the clock on the radio and said, "Four fifteen." Then she looked at her watch and said that it only said 4:09. My wife asked if she had changed her watch to "Tulsa Time" yet. Sister said no, and proceeded to change her watch.

 

[G.T. Smith]

This has nothing to do with idiocy, but more like,"just didn't know" type of thing.
My wife of 32 years was out in the yard one day while my son and I were working on an old dirt bike. We needed to air up one of the tires, so I asked my wife if she would bring me the little portable air tank to us. She asked if it had air in it and I said that it should have about 100 lbs. in it and she said "well I can't carry that!". My son and I laughed for an hour. God bless her heart. I love her so much.
gordon

 

[Beaver]

I asked a young Hospital receptionist to page my buddy Jim Lusby, CRNA. She did so and looked at me to say, "I didn't know we had lusbians working at our hospital". I smiled and said, "Yes we do." A different young receptionist working ER desk, was handed a slip of paper by a maintenance worker indicating a fire alarm. She was new and didn't know what the procedure was. I said to activate the fire alarm, she stepped out into the hall and shouted, "Fire, Fire."

 

[Curmudgeon]

Several years back I had to change a light switch in my dining room. To do so I turned off the power at the main panel so as not to electrocute myself. I called my neighbor and asked if she would come give me a hand while I hooked up the new switch. I handed her a flashlight, and when I got ready to make the connections I asked her to "shine the light right here." Instead, she said "Why don't you just turn on the lights?"

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