Discussion Versus Arguing

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PA Reb

PA Reb

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I recently started a post and have also posted in a few other threads (one that got locked down) that I'm wondering about. Feel free to answer truthfully as I am a big boy and can take it. Maybe a few of the moderators would like to chime in with what they conceive as an argument / discussion.

Is there a difference between a one time post in a thread stating your own personal opinion and posting multiple times feeling that it is a discussion when many others feel you're being argumentative? Do people here feel that I try my best to make my opinion known (or hammer it home as I've been told) with an intent to get someone to change their own opinion? Could it be that some take offense to the writing styles of others when a person makes multiple posts when trying to make a point or offering an opinion? I take part in round table discussions (usually Civil War) with everyone face to face around a table and have become used to "back and forth talk" and everyone is always friendly no matter how hot it may get. Is an internet forum like this different? Do forums such as this one and the different styles people have of expressing themselves with the typed word make a difference as compared to eye to eye discussion? Is it wrong in a forum like this to just plain come right out and say so (without flipping out) when you believe another member is way off base or, are zippered lips the norm? Where is one supposed to draw a line in the sand and not cross it? This inquiring mind would like to know.........just asking.
 
I'm more averse to the whining.

Having two children makes it very difficult to listen to.

Nothing wrong with a spirited discussion. There's no shortage of spirited, opinionated folks here.

There's also a great amount of knowledge, wisdom, and experience...very little of which I possess.
 
Well, in a discussion we share opinions, experience, knowledge. You try to understand where the other one is coming from, perhaps it might even change your own opinion about something. You don't necessarily have to agree with each other.

In an argument you only want to be right. You know everything about it, BTDT (or not) and want the other(s) to agree with you.

Nothing wrong with a healthy discussion. We all can learn something, somehow, somewhere...
 
Patrick Moynihan once said "Everyone is entitled to their own opinion but not their own facts".

Someone else once said "It's better that people think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt".

We need more threads about members pets.I've yet to see any anger or disrespect in any of those. :)
 
I don't recall the topic but in a face-to-face discussion I was having some time ago the other party stopped and asked me "how can you possibly believe that?" my reply was along the line of - I never said that was my personal belief, I was simply making counterpoints to your position for the sake of the discussion, it would be pretty boring if either of us said something and the other only replied, "uh yep" - that discussion was bordering on becoming an argument. I wasn't so much playing devil's advocate per se, more like considering some alternatives, or suggesting possibilities that might help the other party more fully express their position.

Online - even in an email to someone you know well - the way that person interprets what you wrote may have more to do with their mental state at the time than the words or phrases you chose. For example, if someone is agitated or angry at something unrelated to the forum post that might cause them to interpret something you wrote as being argumentative or accusatory.
 
In an original Star Trek episode, Spock was describing the belief/opinion of a certain group/party, I forget exactly what. Dr. McCoy, as was his wont, exploded, saying something like, "Spock, how can you possibly agree with that viewpoint?" Spock replied: "I understand it, Doctor, I do not agree with it."

Does this minor point relate to this thread?

Kaaskop49
Shield #5103
 
I've only been on forums since 2000 but learned quickly that without the facial expressions and body language present in face to face conservations it can be difficult to converse on the written page. Many get offended easily too which I found out in a hurry and you almost have to be on your tiptoes to not offend many people which I refuse to do but do try and respect others and their opinions.
Then too we're from different parts of the country or in some cases the world and have different ways of expressing ourselves. All of it makes for a big mess and glad I'm not a moderator here either.
I like the learned input I get here from many wise members which is why I keep coming back here but also see some that may just want an argument and might do better elsewhere where that is encouraged. Fortunately they are few and the moderators here deal well with that.
 
There are opinions and there are facts, you will always find someone uncomfortable with either. Mature adults can have discussions without turning them into fights the rest of the world needs moderators. Lol lol:D
 
I show little expression, speak in monotone, and my posture doesn't change, so communicating on the net feels no different than in person.
 
Tip-Toe Through The Egos.

Any topic with multiple points of view may cause a thread to heat up. Sometimes, people fail to adhere to objectivity and allow their emotions to kick in. Also, if they can't effectively refute another poster's point of view, they will sometimes attack the poster.

If you feel that you are being personally attacked, your best bet is to simply not respond, and thus, avoid a flame war. At least in this forum, participants adhere remarkably well to an unwritten code of decency and courtesy.

Also, I don't see anything wrong with making multiple responses in a thread where necessary but you should refrain from saying the same thing repetitively or in re-phrasing a question or position so as to elicit the response you were hoping to get.
 
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My brother and his wife would argue. One day it got really heated and he asked his wife " how would you like it to not see me for about three days?" She said "that would be just fine". So first day goes by and she didn't see him, then the second day went by with the same results. Third day came along and the swelling around the eyes went down just enough for her to see again.
 
For me the main distinction between discussions and arguments is that no matter how heated they become discussion do NOT stoop to ad hominem attacks. Also discussions should avoid any sort of inflammatory language.
As example, I do not like aluminum/titanium/polymer handguns, anything not made out of steel. Such handguns are not "junk", it's just that I do NOT like them.
 
Discussion Versus Arguing
Click to expand...

PA, IMO a discussion is a free and open exchange of ideas, with a willingness on all parties involved to admit the other person may have "some" valid points. An argument is just the opposite, no one is willing to move one iota from their point of view.
I really enjoy a well thought out discussion, as much as I dislike to argue.
Now you figure out which one you prefer.
 
The Delicate Ones

Most members accept differing views as part of life. The more Delicate Members view disagreement with their cherished views as a deliberate frontal assault on the their person, both personally and emotionally.

Whining is possible to ignore, but obsession with perfection is beyond tolerance. After 15 years in quality assurance, I still remember that there are tolerances that let an acceptable, not perfect, product ship to the customer. I have no use for statistics or the related assumptions of accuracy.

The Forum Rules are followed or else. Those same Rules ensure that this Forum maintains its high standards of civility and politeness. I have pushed the Rules to the limit several times and the consequences were not a surprise. There are many "opportunities" in this world, but 'Forum Moderator' is way above my patience level. Out of respect for Members and Moderators, I have deleted more than one of my posts.

Personally, I don't think 'arguing' is the problem, but disagreement with the cherished beliefs and opinions of the Delicate Ones. They can just get over it, because I'm real sure it will happen again.

My wife would be truly happy if every light was ON in the house until she went to bed. I make sure that every light, except for night lights, is OFF in any unoccupied room. Neither one of us accepts the other's viewpoint on this topic.
 
BLACKHAWKNJ said:
For me the main distinction between discussions and arguments is that no matter how heated they become discussion do NOT stoop to ad hominem attacks. Also discussions should avoid any sort of inflammatory language.
As example, I do not like aluminum/titanium/polymer handguns, anything not made out of steel. Such handguns are not "junk", it's just that I do NOT like them.
Click to expand...

No, the correct response is, "Steel is real, and real steel is stainless steel". Aluminum and polymer belong in the kitchen. :D And I don't like them either.
 
just jim said:
My brother and his wife would argue. One day it got really heated and he asked his wife " how would you like it to not see me for about three days?" She said "that would be just fine". So first day goes by and she didn't see him, then the second day went by with the same results. Third day came along and the swelling around the eyes went down just enough for her to see again.
Click to expand...
Ha! Hilarious!!! [emoji38]
 
"Delicate ones" is an interesting term, :D I agree that some may be delicate. Others strike me as possessing an all-consuming, freight-train insistence on winning.

The problem is that in so many of our discussions there is no answer that can clearly be declared the winner. When two or more members get to locking antlers on one of these, things can turn nasty and personal.

Is .380 ACP an adequate round for self defense? Hell, I don't know. I don't like to go below .38 Special, but for many people the .380 is just fine if not ideal. For others it's a rodentine caliber and real men should disdain it and carry .357 Magnum or 10mm. Usually the discussions are amicable enough in disagreement; but sometimes the clash of antlers rings through the forest and guys are stopping just short of calling each other cretins, Neanderthals or wusses.

Speaking just for me, I've only used the ignore button once. I've sometimes found reasonably civil ways of telling people they are advocating illegal and/or insane behavior, and telling the antler-bashers that I'm bored with their repetitious sniping and am bailing on the thread. More often I just keep my mouth and keyboard shut and move on. I'm here for discussion, not argument that goes all ad hominem. (Isn't he a rapper?)
 
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I don't think there is winning a argument on the net. You may bring up a good opinion supported by facts that is supported by other members but there will always be those who don't agree. Basically your post of your opinion is just there to see who is like minded.
 
I'm too new to guns to argue with anyone here....All I have to offer is based on my opinion or my experience and I try to let it be known upfront.It's nice when others agree but nicer when one is acknowledged for at least trying to add to the conversation.
 
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