Elder abuse opinions needed

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I'm generally not so great at starting threads despite being handy in reply. Please bear with me, theres a fair amount to this ballgame to address, both in elements and timeline, and im not entirely sure how best to organize it.

I have a developing situation with the next door neighbor.
Mr. B as Ill call him is an elderly gentleman in a state of cognitive decline as well as other health issues.
His wife, Ms. B, is a Korean immigrant, with a very think accent, often impossible to understand. She's of sound mind although not exactly Mensa material.

Enter the daughter, who I will refer to as numerous things, including the antichrist, who two years ago attempted a hostile takeover of their home and estate.
After legal battles they managed to fight her off in a rather hairy series of court battles. She is, the single most evil person I've met, and I've known a fair number.

I'll sprinkle in the others as they become relevant.

Round two ....
The Devil came back from Georgia.

Ms.B, as I stated is not exactly Mensa material. Perhaps she was not made fully aware of the gravity of the situation from two years ago due to language barriers, but when the antichrist called, wanting to visit, she ultimately agreed on condition that she not stay and cause trouble as she did before....
Today marks day 22 of the hostage situation.
My direct observations include radical changes in behavior on the part of the B couple. Ms B would commonly be found on the back porch enjoying being outside, and often talking to my wife.
She'd be out there 3 to 6 times a day, weather conditions permitting. This has not been the case over the duration of the daughters visit. What little time she can spend is under the overbearing supervision of the antichrist, who will physically bar her from approaching the fence.
Also, an envelope addressed to Mr B, from a law office, was miss delivered to my address within the first week of her arrival.
I can only speculate as to the nature of the nature of the documents in that thick envelope.
What little interaction we've had in the first week of the hostage situation seems to indicate that Ms B is probably not going to be much use in a decisive action. She might speak of her daughters attitude, and how she seems to hate everyone, but I have no faith in her to speak the whole truth of the situation to liberate herself. Be it she is afraid of reprisal from the daughter, or she does not was to cause the daughter trouble. Perhaps even shame for letting the antichrist through the door ... any of the above will do.

The antichrist has also been making a sport of attacking other family members with various threats of legal involvement and litigation.
The grandson, who I am in some contact with as part of a support network, has some firearms, formerly belonging to his father, son of Mr and Ms B.
Due to his felony conviction and current incarceration, obviously, he cannot own them. Mr B kept notebooks on everything. Even their minivan has a notebook accounting for every last gallon of gas that was ever put in it.
As such, record of these arms exist in the arsenal notebooks as he held these guns for his son while he was in military service prior to the conviction.
The antichrist is after him for the return of these arms. Sheriff has advised him to stand his ground on the matter.
Some items were returned, to include some jack stands and house keys, where the grandson wanted me to be a witness.
I convinced him to bring police officers in this capacity, as they have far more credibility in the courts than I would. They also have a fair number of options to resolve a blowup issue not necessarily afforded the average citizen.
Atop that, I wish to remain as covert as I can in this matter. If I am a known player in a failed attempt, I still have the antichrist living nextdoor.
I saw this unfold ... the daughter bared Ms B from approaching the grandsons vehicle.
It is a condition of totalitarian control over every movement of this couple.
I have these dots, but I cannot connect them to build a proper case to present.
Since the return of the housekeys incident, the antichrist has been using her parents as bait to see if we will initiate contact with them, as a setup to justify giving us trouble.
Department of Health and Human services has a website outlining elder abuse ... they talk a big game, but ultimately, it's been kicked back to the grandson to do a check well-being police call. We really expected a bit more from the agency than that.
I'd love to see a pathway forward. Perhaps the great knowledge base of this forum has some experience in these, or similar matters.
 
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Take a deep breath. Hug your wife.

Do not get involved with this family's drama.

Should you witness injuries/bruises or a physical altercation, call the police.

There are so many unknown's, you cannot speculate. If they are living there, it will have to go through a formal notice of eviction and more depending on the State.

Your categorization of this person is extreme and MAY be valid, but it shows heavy bias. Again, it could be right.

Stay away unless you personally witness something to warrant a call to LEO. Do NOT get involved otherwise. Be mindful of what you say and/or write about this incident. Good luck.
 
Horrible situation.

I am not qualified to offer advice except to say for you to continue to be an observer (documenting) as your input may be valuable in any future legal inquiries or proceedings.

In over 23 years Ruthie has seen the end results of elder abuse when they are admitted to the facility. She says that elder abuse ranks third behind Alzheimer's and Dementia on her list of heart breakers.

The fact that you care so much about this speaks to who you are.
 
I think the currently incarcerated grandson, or the other family members mentioned, need to discuss the situation with and seek advice from a lawyer experienced with elder abuse.

How the grandson does that from a jail cell with, I presume, a lack of financial resources, I don't know. His father, if around, or another sibling of that generation would seem a better choice to act.

For your own peace of mind, you could find a lawyer versed in elder abuse and pay him to discuss the situation with you for an hour. Up to you then if you want to pursue it further.

Here is a source to find lawyers: Online Directory for Attorneys, Law Firms & Consumers | Martindale.com
 
Take a deep breath. Hug your wife.

Do not get involved with this family's drama.

Should you witness injuries/bruises or a physical altercation, call the police.

There are so many unknown's, you cannot speculate. If they are living there, it will have to go through a formal notice of eviction and more depending on the State.

Your categorization of this person is extreme and MAY be valid, but it shows heavy bias. Again, it could be right.

Stay away unless you personally witness something to warrant a call to LEO. Do NOT get involved otherwise. Be mindful of what you say and/or write about this incident. Good luck.

The "bias" is based on the last round. this is the same game, she's just a little better at it.
all Im looking to do is line up possible solutions for the grandson and daughter in law to implement.
Short of Ms B breaking free to seek asylum at my door, I am not getting goat roped into any direct involvement.
The probability exists that we are going to get blindsided with something at some point despite my efforts to avoid getting cat-fished. and yes ... she is actively trolling
 
I think the currently incarcerated grandson, or the other family members mentioned, need to discuss the situation with and seek advice from a lawyer experienced with elder abuse.

How the grandson does that from a jail cell with, I presume, a lack of financial resources, I don't know. His father, if around, or another sibling of that generation would seem a better choice to act.

For your own peace of mind, you could find a lawyer versed in elder abuse and pay him to discuss the situation with you for an hour. Up to you then if you want to pursue it further.

Here is a source to find lawyers: Online Directory for Attorneys, Law Firms & Consumers | Martindale.com

grandson is not convicted, his father is ... just for clarification.
Thank you, I will pass that resource along and see what research leads it gives me.
 
I went through he** with my father when he became demented following the death of my mother. He had invited an ex-con to move in with him. I got elder protective services involved, and they found out that this piece of sh** had his name on the title of my dad's car, had put his home in a trust with him as the beneficiary, and had his name added as a signatory on my dad's bank account.

The court had appointed a local attorney to protect my dad's best interests, and he turned out to be almost worse than the ex-con. It took me two years of legal battles, a complaint to the bar association, and lots of money to undo all of this, and get this court appointed attorney to leave my dad alone, and quit charging him exorbitant fees for doing absolutely nothing to actually protect him. He actually went to court and argued for allowing this convict to stay on living with my dad in his home!

These people know no shame. Given that there is a thick envelope from an attorney's office being sent their way, it is obvious that your neighbors are going to need legal help.

After personally going through all of this, I would say that the only way to derail the evil intentions of this "antichrist" and protect the elder gentleman and his wife is by finding a good elder care attorney and have a legal guardian and conservator appointed by the court. The guardian is in charge of determining what is best in terms of the health and well being of the elder, i.e. where they live, who cares for them, medical treatment, etc. The wife may be able to take on this role.

The conservator is in complete control of the purse strings. It sounds like in this instance, the best would be to have the attorney act as conservator, and perhaps both. It would keep the daughter at bay, and any legal b.s. she tries to pull would be met with stiff and legal opposition. It isn't cheap, but if you find a good one who actually cares, and takes his role seriously, it sounds like the only thing that would save these folks, and would be worth it.

I'm hoping for the best with your neighbors. They are going to need help finding a good attorney. With the daughter hovering constantly, that may turn out to be difficult, and there may be nothing you can do to help. As mentioned earlier by others, be careful what you do and say. It is admirable that you care enough to want to help, but it truly is not your business.

I would also agree that in situations that require a witness, it is always better to have the police, a social services ombudsman, or attorney present.

Good luck with this terrible situation.
 
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Horrible situation.

I am not qualified to offer advice except to say for you to continue to be an observer (documenting) as your input may be valuable in any future legal inquiries or proceedings.

In over 23 years Ruthie has seen the end results of elder abuse when they are admitted to the facility. She says that elder abuse ranks third behind Alzheimer's and Dementia on her list of heart breakers.

The fact that you care so much about this speaks to who you are.
well, it's in two parts ... I've helped the grandson and DIL look after them for years. Some repair and other things Mr B couldn't handle due to physical limitations of age / illness. For those things outside my wheelhouse I had the grandson to call in as cavalry. They are friends, and man, let me tell you about egg rolls. so I look after them as such... good friends.
To be completely honest, I also must act in terms of self preservation. I've seen her handiwork in the last battle. She knows no bounds, and attacks everywhere she can find the slightest excuse to do so.
basically im in a position I most despise .... sitting waiting to get hit.
The dust up over the guns kinda works like a family of ducks.
You see all the little ducklings swimming along with the momma duck. It's a safe bet that momma had a nest, but if pressed to prove that, you'll have some difficulty as you'd have to provide evidence of the actual nest.
I know Mr B kept notes on everything.
The fact that she knew of these arms, as well as who has possession of them tells me she's both reviewed the records and taken an inventory of these assets.
Oh look ... ducks.
What I cannot see is the nest, where she's been taking inventory and control over all their assets. but you know it's happening. you just can't make enough of the case to present it.
 
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I'm doing my best to avoid this ... but I have no control over what may come over the fence.
 
She’s not the Antichrist.

Mind your own business.

perhaps not ... she may only be an apprentice.
But Im still going to refer to her vehicle as the broomstick.
We've done our best to extricate ourselves from any direct involvement. I hope to maintain that separation though I cannot control what comes over the fence.
The daughter is actively trolling
 
Depending on your State Laws and how “ family services”, elder care services actually work will be the deciding factor. Usually relatives will or may be appointed to manage the affairs of elders. Typically sons or daughters unless they decline.
IMHO, as mentioned above, do not get involved. Such situations are Perfect reasons to have a trust.
Having taken care of my mother for 14 years , all I can say is I’m glad I was an only child. Families I knew from the 50’s had horrid events of fighting siblings when parents became unable to care for themselves.
Sad situation.
 
Sounds like the grandson should get an attorney to initiate Court proceedings to have a conservator and a guardian appointed.

These folks are supervised by the Court. Their payment is reviewed and approved by the Court.

Typically, the costs would be paid by the grandparents.

Your role would be as a witness.
 
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