The things you find out after someone dies...

[Golddollar]

If you're not the Executor of the estate or otherwise responsible for the deceased's property, I strongly suggest you walk away and don't look back.

I have an aunt and uncle who both passed on within the last 1 1/2 years. I was very close to them all my life. It was hard to keep from putting my nose into things. I had to keep reminding myself that I was not the Executor and not an official heir. Happily my cousin the Executor gave me some of my uncles shirts and coats when the house was being cleaned out, and I was glad for that. When requested, I was glad to help with the Estates as being another set of eyes and ears as far as dealing with the major items.

 

[Bullet Bob]

"Asking for money means he doesn't have money."

Not in my experience. I won't breach privacy laws, but I could tell you some interesting stuff about people who have money, but still borrow from family.

 

[The Last Standing Knight]

As someone who is going through this....but an only child....makes it easier in this state as far as probate goes. But I am learning things that were probably best left buried.

I leave it at that.

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

My wife and I set up a living trust. Our stuff is all ours to do as we wish....But when we're gone it automatically belongs to our 2 kids(no grand kids)to do as they wish..........NO probate......No cost to them.

 

[djohns6]

Went to an estate sale over 10 years ago, an old woman who died and had been living alone. Same story. House had a two car garage packed full of unopened boxes of “stuff” that appeared to have been bought from Home Shopping Network. Stacked to the ceiling. It was a pitiful but amazing sight. I bought none of it. I didn’t bother going inside, probably the same situation there.

We went to an estate sale last year that was the same situation . Widow with a lot of money apparently . The house was filled with stuff from HSN . Nice stuff . Enameled cast iron cookware in unopened boxes . Stacked to the ceiling . Multiple complete sets of dishes , expensive Christmas decorations , Crystal , and on and on . We picked up some decent deals on cast iron stuff .

 

[Martyk]

When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctor told us that the diagnosis was very serious and that she should get her affairs in order. We decided on a trust, which was moderately more expensive than a will. One of the advantages of a trust is that it is not a public document, like a will. Only the Trustee(s) and the beneficiaries know where your assets go. With a will that is filed in probate court, anybody so inclined can go to the county courthouse and read it.

 

[Rustyt1953]

 

[robvious]

I haven't had parents this century... and I am only 58... co trusty of their estate with my brothers... I was executor, financial power of attorney and trusty of my Aunt's estate... she owned the family homestead that was in the family for over a century... inheritance makes people crazy... a knock down drag out mess over worthless crud.. money just amps it up.. thankfully parents and my aunt were Smart and organized.. both had trusts spelling out everything... it does make life easier for those left behind to deal with it.. mother-in-law only had a will... probate stinks... thankfully wife was an only child... which simplified things.. we have set up a trust to make it as simple as possible when our son has to deal with what will eventually happen to us all... if you don't HAVE TO be involved... stay clear... stupid people like lawyers...

 

[docbrazos]

Stuff is just Stuff. The Wife gets Everything to deal with. Right now I'm in the process of planning and paying for our Funerals. Everyone want's the stuff but know one wants the responsibility of planting or cremating the remains.

 

[Mike SC Hunter]

When my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer, the doctor told us that the diagnosis was very serious and that she should get her affairs in order. We decided on a trust, which was moderately more expensive than a will. One of the advantages of a trust is that it is not a public document, like a will. Only the Trustee(s) and the beneficiaries know where your assets go. With a will that is filed in probate court, anybody so inclined can go to the county courthouse and read it.

I agree.............I'll give it 2 amens and a hoo-ha ...........Good information

 

[Terry G]

I worked with a guy who was big on the V.F.W. always pestering me to join. He was forever telling "War Stories" about Viet Nam. I wasn't a joiner or a drinker which he was both. Anyway, his stories didn't ring true. Helicopters from another Division pulling him and his Men out of a fire fight, where were the 1st Divisions helicopters? And 60 round M-16 magazines were just a couple of the stories. He drank himself to death and the VFW was going to give him a burial with full Military Honors. His Wife was a German Citizen and that's where he met her. He was a Finance Clerk in Germany. He never set foot in Viet Nam.

 

[djohns6]

Stuff is just Stuff. The Wife gets Everything to deal with. Right now I'm in the process of planning and paying for our Funerals. Everyone want's the stuff but know one wants the responsibility of planting or cremating the remains.

Yep . Our cremations are paid for and our final wishes are documented . Beneficiaries for insurance policies and retirement accounts are named . The " Stuff " is in the Will and most of it isn't worth fighting over .

 

[BE Mike]

I worked with a guy who was big on the V.F.W. always pestering me to join. He was forever telling "War Stories" about Viet Nam. I wasn't a joiner or a drinker which he was both. Anyway, his stories didn't ring true. Helicopters from another Division pulling him and his Men out of a fire fight, where were the 1st Divisions helicopters? And 60 round M-16 magazines were just a couple of the stories. He drank himself to death and the VFW was going to give him a burial with full Military Honors. His Wife was a German Citizen and that's where he met her. He was a Finance Clerk in Germany. He never set foot in Viet Nam.

These kinds of stories make me mad and then sad for the poor soul who feels that he has to dream this stuff up. I'm kind of surprised because the VFW usually reviews DD 214's before allowing vets to join. My father, a WWII vet told me a similar story about a dude in the American Legion. Come to find out, he played trumpet for a military band and never left the states.

 

[Golddollar]

These kinds of stories make me mad and then sad for the poor soul who feels that he has to dream this stuff up. I'm kind of surprised because the VFW usually reviews DD 214's before allowing vets to join. My father, a WWII vet told me a similar story about a dude in the American Legion. Come to find out, he played trumpet for a military band and never left the states.

I had to quit wearing a service related bracelet when one time it was assumed I was in the Armed Forces, which I never was. I always state to people that I belong to the Sons of the American Legion and that it was my grandfather who served, not me. I don't want to even imply by silence that I have valor that I know I am not entitled to.

 

[JoeBeDeaux]

After my wife died and I finally booted my last adult child out of the house I discovered something about myself. I never knew who I was. I was born someone's child and grew up as someone's sibling. I met my wife in Jr High and was her boyfriend until we married. I had a 14-month stint overseas where I got a hint of something I was missing but it was too short, and I had a wife to return to. I became a father time and again and never relaxed about being who I should be for them. After my wife died, I was lost, did not know what I was going to do with myself but eventually found out who I was. I found out I liked myself. I found a mantra I have heeded since. I don't know who the author is, I am sure someone out there does but, here it is. "A man can be himself only so long as he is alone; and if he does not love solitude, he will not love freedom; for it is only when he is alone that he is really free."

 

[decuerno]

These kinds of stories make me mad and then sad for the poor soul who feels that he has to dream this stuff up. I'm kind of surprised because the VFW usually reviews DD 214's before allowing vets to join. My father, a WWII vet told me a similar story about a dude in the American Legion. Come to find out, he played trumpet for a military band and never left the states.

The VFW in the next town over from me advertises on their marquis that they are accepting new memberships by anyone/everyone who wishes to participate.
It USED to be that if a traveling veteran was passing-thru and needed a meal or temporary accommodation, all that was necessary was to drop by the local VFW.
Unfortunately, they’re all becoming just another beer-joint.

BTW, re: TODD (Transfer on Death Deeds, also known as Title Upon Death in some locales).. it was recently discovered our alzheimer afflicted mother had been talked into a TODD giving ownership of her house upon her death to another relative. Her neighbor was a (crooked) lawyer who drew it up for her on behalf of the relative’s prodding, fully aware of the situation. (His own mother had died of alzheimers… both he and the relative were aware Mom had no capability to make financial decisions.)
Only because the relative’s wife accidentally mentioned it over adult beverages was it discovered. My sister was the executor and Power of Atty according to Mom and Dad’s Will… and I was the secondary E and POA.
Years ago, when Dad and Mom developed their Will that house was to pay for a grandchild’s college.
One thing about a TODD: It only becomes effective upon the homeowner’s death. The POA which my sis and I held allowed us to sell the house before her death (she was already in memory-care) and pay off the college for the grandchild.
A homeowner cannot “transfer on death” a home no longer owned.