Here is a toast to lying, cheating, drinking and stealing:
If you lie, lie only to keep a friend.
If you cheat, may you cheat death.
If you steal, steal your lover's heart.
If you drink, drink deeply of the joy of your new life together.
I've also used this one a time or two:
Here's to the perfect girl,
I couldn't ask for more.
She's deaf 'n dumb, oversexed,
and owns a liquor store.