You seem to be leaning toward the 1911. A worthy choice, to be sure. I carried one as a Coast Guard boarding officer back in the early 80s, and it was not only a fine service weapon, but also a link to the thousands of American military members through two World Wars, Korea, and Viet Nam who had carried it. I liked that. (Shortly thereafter, after I was out of the service, the USCG adopted the 9mm; later still, the 40 caliber).
Having gotten back into pistol shooting in my mid 50s, I have now owned both the M&P 45 and 40 full-size models, as well as a Shield 40. From that perspective, I can assure you that those pistols will provide outstanding service to you as well.
There are those who will argue that only a metal pistol is worth owning, and I respect that, but I disagree. Polymer framed pistols have already proven themselves, and the M&P series is if not already a classic, then well on its way. The design, low axis, weight, and reliability of these pistols make them as good as, maybe even better than, the 1911s. Whether you ever would need to defend yourself or someone else with either pistol is unknowable, but I think you will find that for everyday carry (EDC) the polymers are up to the task. Their price point also is in their favor compared to the 1911, partly because you pay a premium for that beautiful, timeless design and metal construction. Ammo-wise, among your choices, a 40 caliber will be a bit more economical to shoot than a 45 and compares favorably with a 357 in the "American calibers".
In sum, if it's going to be a gift to you, then you can't go wrong with any of your choices. When you're spending your own money for a pistol, I think you'll find the M&P 40 to be the best of all worlds, all things considered. Just my opinion, of course.