Funny Port-A-Potty Stories?

[ASA335]

In the “Locked in a gun safe?” thread someone brought up a humorous port-a-potty incident, and others responded. Rather than clutter that thread up, I thought I’d ask if anybody else had a funny port-a-potty or outhouse incident (keep the story clean please). I’ll start with mine.

About twenty years ago we were conducting a test on some new equipment from atop a hill at one of the Ft. Huachuca, AZ ranges. This test required us to leave a forty foot trailer, loaded with millions of dollars worth of electronic analysis equipment, unmanned upon that hill over night, and a private security company was hired to provide site security in the evenings while we were gone.

This hill being rather remote had no facilities on or near it, so a port-a-potty was placed near the trailer. There weren’t any lights up there either, other than the ones in the trailer which was locked when we left.

One early morning it was discovered that the guard was trapped in the port-a-potty, which was tipped over onto the door. His story was that during the night he decided to relieve himself in the quiet, cool and dark open area – not in the potty. Without any light, other than moon and starlight, he stepped toward the potty (but not in it) to water the ground. He bumped something along the way and it hissed at him, so he kicked it. It then cried out. The next thing he heard was a cougar scream not too far away and he saw the silhouette of the cougar racing toward him! He had kicked her cub!

The potty being the closest shelter, he jumped into it and slammed the door shut; only to have the female cougar slam into the side of the potty! Knocked over and with a mad cougar outside he wrestled with the door and the cougar to keep her out and ended up with the potty face down on the door.

The cougar stayed for a while trying to find a way in, constantly telling him (in affect) he was her new meat toy if she could only get to him! Even after things had quieted down outside the potty, he chose to stay inside – just in case – until relief arrived a few hours later. There was plenty of cougar track outside the potty and many scratch and bite marks upon it to support his story. Oh, and his radio was in his truck.

Your choice; unarmed, do you stay in that mess or do you go outside to see if she is still waiting for you?

The guard didn’t think this was all that funny, but we got a hoot out of it!

 

[beach elvis]

I hate when that happens.

 

[Vulcan Bob]

Other than a huge killer spider that took about five years off of my life span after it appeared in a rather delicate spot, nothing noteworthy.

 

[bennettfam]

A buddy's father worked in a Nat'l Park (Yosemite or Lassen Volcanic I believe) many years ago and they found a perv in the tank of a pit toilet wearing a hooded rain parka. He was there to look up at the "view". Man was he wacked or what!

 

[oldman45]

A local attorney went to use a potty set up at the hunting camp. While tending to business, he was bitten south of the border around the family jewels by a brown recluse spider. We carried him to the doctor and he remained hospitalized several days and very sore for weeks.

 

[adwjc]

Porta potty story

A neighbor of mine sponsers a mini marathon to raise funds for a kid's charity. She draws about 200-250 participants, the town made her get some porta potties so she has two delivered and placed in her side yard near her driveway.

Her event was Sunday morning went well, big crowd, a few vendors, food, beverages etc.

On Monday her 7 year old twin boys were playing on the stacked up tables & chairs next to the porta potties when one dares the other to go in the smelly porta potty.

Of course he goes in and the wise brother starts kicking the outside, threats are exchanged and the inside brother latches the door, the outside brother is now trying to pry the door open, and the inside one is enjoying himself making the outside one mad.

You know what happens next - outside brother climbs up on a stack of folding tables and kicks the side of the porta potty; between the full holding tank, the kid's weight and the well placed kick from the brother on the stack of tables, the potty goes over and rolls sideways, ending up on the door.

I live around the corner, and I don't know which was louder, the screams from the kid trapped inside or those from his mother when she found out what all the noise was about. He was still screaming 1/2 hour later, she was hosing him off in the yard with the garden hose, as I recall, it was a nice cool October day.........

 

[EQGuy]

A buddy's father worked in a Nat'l Park (Yosemite or Lassen Volcanic I believe) many years ago and they found a perv in the tank of a pit toilet wearing a hooded rain parka. He was there to look up at the "view". Man was he wacked or what!

Oh yes, the man from Morro Bay. It actually occurred at Morro Bay State Park. I remember it well. There was a story in the paper including the perps name. I believe he was from around the vicinity of Antelope Valley.

Now for my outhouse story. I was working in Yosemite Natl Park in 1965. This was a few years after Ferril Merril was there on the same job. We were living at Crane Flat in an old CCC camp which had a 4 or 5 hole outhouse. I thought it would be amusing to throw a fire cracker down the hole. Of course it set fire to the TP down there. I just whipped out my fire hose and put out the fire with urine. I sure am glad I had enough capacity to do the job.

 

[pete-driver]

We were at our deer camp about a month before the season doing maintenance, insulating the cabin, building a new out house, ect.. Well someone gave a shovel to a friend of one of younger guys, nice kid in his twenty's. Eager and wanting to do his part, well a spot was pointed to a he was told not too big around as the out house was only 4'X4'. Well he dug about six feet deep and he had to be lifted out of the hole. Seems like forever from the pinch to the THUNK.
Oh the laughter when my uncle saw it and asked "Who gave the pothead a shovel"

 

[rburg]

The Jeep club that started this sordid thread was one of my regular haunts.

This year was our 40th race. And when you own a 67 acre gravel pit, outhouses are the only source of relief. For the first few years we rented them. Then some of our more industrious decided there was money to be saved by us just making our own versions. Not a bad idea and back in the 70s and early 80s plywood was cheap. So we came up with a prototype.

Everyone approved so we went into production. Of course no one tested them under adverse conditions. So as the race went into its second day, a problem developed. They stunk. No ventilation. But the work crews found a quick solution. Someone came along with a 4x4 post and a few good upward thrusts and the cute little roofs toppled over the back! Problem solved. All was well with the world.

Fast forward 51 weeks. It was Gravelrama time again. Our cleaning system involved us taking the club water truck and opening the door, then washing the insides down. Worked well. Until we opened one door. Remember these are once a year use outhouses.

There, inside the door was a giant tomato plant.. Reaching for the sky thru the seat. And on it were beautiful large red/ripe tomato's. So our crew chief told the water crew to hold up for just a second. He walked over and picked about 4 or 5 of the nicest looking ones and took them over to his pickup truck. Then our work continued.

The club always furnished supper to the work crews. Those on the out house crew always took a lot of flak about our work. Funny thing was, Leader (everyone has nicknames) took those beautiful tomato's over to the sink and washed them up. Then he made them into generous slices for the others to eat. Funny thing was, no one on the crew was seen eating even a single slice.. Go figure.