Gettin Old

[Kanewpadle]

It's very difficult to watch your parents get old. Especially when your the oldest son watching your father age.

My mom is aging gracefully but dad isn't. He hates it.

Mom was in the hospital a couple months ago and dad just had his pacemaker replaced. He's not happy cause he can't do much for 6 weeks.

Keeping him out of the garage is like trying to keep Rosie O'Donnell out of the cookie jar!

 

[snubbyfan]

It was rough watching my Dad, a big strong confident man, getting old and feeble. After the Alzheimers and dementia took over, it was almost a relief when he passed on. My Mom's still alive, my sister's taking care of her and making sure she's taking her meds.
My Dad was buried with honors as a decorated war hero at Arlington National Cemetary.

 

[chud333]

Lost my "Pops" Feb. 2010 to a stroke.
He was a 20 year Marine and my best friend and Hero.
Moms still in relatively good condition.
I'm also the oldest of my parents 3 sons.
I hate to even think about losing my mom but know
that one day it will come. Felt like someone ripped
out my insides when i lost my dad.
To see someone who has given you life and everything
you are as a person die has got to be one of lifes hardest
moments. God Bless

Chuck

 

[BarbC]

I can't even imagine a world without my parents. They never really seem to age to me, although my mom walks slower than she used to.

 

[chief38]

My Dad just passed last year (@84) and it has now sunk in that I am the oldest family member and now I'm starting to understand all the things that he went through while aging but that I just didn't grasp at the time.

Some have it easier than others and it greatly pains me to see people suffer.

Chief38

 

[Aden67]

I am dealing with that now. Dad is 87 and mom is 86. They spend most fo their time going to various doctor appointments. They want to be independent and are still in their own home. They hate being a burden to my sister and brother in law, but rely on them heavily for transportation and such. The other issue is my brother...the oldest in the family...won't do much at all to help. He has worked with my dad for the last 15 years and considers that he has done enough. The family is in the midwest and I am on the east coast with my own small kids, so I can't offer much.

My mother won't allow anyone in the house to help...like a home health aide. She takes care of my Dad who has gotten very feable.

It sucks and it is only going to get worse.

 

[Sebago Son]

My Dad is in his mid-to-late 80's a WW2 vet and still going strong. A lifelong outdoorsman, he still hunting opening day with me and my boys...

... and still gets out on the ice just about every weekend, lugging his own gear in his ancient pack basket.

Yup, Dad is doing well, be me? I'm not taking to the "getting old" stuff very well...

 

[wbraswell]

This is the story of life. You will see them age, become frail, and someday, die. At least that is the normal way it goes, if you, and they are lucky. Life has only one guarantee, no one gets out alive. Just be sure to outlive them. They deserve that.

 

[vytoland]

both mom & dad have pasted and i realize that i am getting closer to "the front of the line".

i make EVERY day count....live, love and be happy.

 

[walkin jack]

You are right. It is hard. Both my parents are gone now and it was about the hardest thing in my life to accept. We were a very close family and it broke my heart to have to watch their decline.

My mom died after a long illness in 1994. Dad cared for her at home for the last 4 years of her life. When she died after 52 years of marriage Dad kind of gave up for about a year.

But he found a good church and a group of great friends and he seemed to be interested in life again. But eventually he started to have declining health. The last time I saw him, in June of 2009, he said to me, "Well Buddy boy, it's just about time for me to go and lay down next to your mama...I'm very tired and tired of it all."

He died 9 days later.

Now my kids are watching me like a hawk. I'm still doing okay but after what they saw me endure with their grandparents I think they are getting ready. I once played a country music video for them that I felt would help. It was "The Walk" by Sawyer Brown. The lyrics are great and tell it like it is.

Getting older in not easy for anyone. But I believe that the way things are set up can make it better if we have the right attitude going into it. Things change but they change slowly enough (at first at least) for us to adjust and accept. The way I feel even though I have had to slow down of some of the stuff I used to do or stop it all together, I try to focus on making the best of each day. Every age of my life so far has had some very beautiful part that I loved. I'm 68 right now and I feel like I still have some good miles left in my path. I honestly don't think I've ever been happier at any time in my life. Life after all is what we make it.

 

[Nico Testosteros]

Getting old sucks. It's far better to be young. But there's only one way to avoid getting old..,

 

[jaykellogg]

It was hard to read through this thread. I lost Mom at age 89 about two months ago. She suffered for years with COPD and had an oxygen tube the last 9 years. Still she was sharp as a whip.

Dad will turn 92 in November. He looks fine but a bit frail. He has a pacemaker and has had two bypasses. He has the beginnings of dementia. He still drives and has a year to go till his license is up for renewal. I am pretty sure he figures it won't get renewed.

My GF is the primary caregiver for her parents. Her mother still recognizes people, but really has no short term memory at all. Her Dad was given a heart bypass a year and a half ago. About six months ago he came down with shingles. It has cleared up, but sometimes the pain doesn't go away. He will not try to improve his health. It is like he is waiting till the end. He will take all the pain medication you will give him. She has moved into their house and gets some help from her siblings, but IMO they should do more. The parents refuse to consider an assisted living facility.


For you men and women who are over the age of 60 there is a vaccine for shingles. Cuts the chance of getting it by 75% and if you do get it you get a milder case. Consider it for yourselves or encourage your parents to get it. (I have had the shot).

 

[Davwingman]

I wish that I could have seen my Dad grow old. He died at age 54, just about the time I came to realize what he was about.

 

[old bear]

My father at 87 died in his sleep, March 6, 2011.

My Mom has not been so lucky(?) she has been in a care facility since late November 2010. Her body is shot but until the last 3 -4 months ago her mind was very sharp. She is really ready and looking forward to death but somehow it's not ready for her.

I call 3-4 times a week and manage to fly out for a week or so visit 3-4 times a year. Sometimes it does not seem to be enough and other time it feels like that's all I do.

 

[arjay]

Dad died at 80 back in 95 after a 4 year battle with Alzheimers.Mom just turned 81 and is showing signs of dementia.My younger sisters are both still dealing with their own families.My family is grown and I divorced a few years ago, so I keep an eye on her.I've got the time.

On the plus side,a friend of mine gave birth to twins last night and all three are healthy,which is pretty cool.

 

[Onomea]

I lost my dad, at 78, in 1995 and my mom, at 87, just last year. As others have said, it is one of the hardest things in life that we must endure, but it is also something that unless we predecease our own parents -- and what an awful tragedy that is for a parent! -- something we all must come to terms with.

It is an odd and lonely feeling when both parents are gone, but one that is mitigated by watching one's own children grow into strong and responsible adults...

 

[hsmith9491]

Lost my dad when I was 18, he was 44. Mom lived to 83. Her mind was good and she walked two miles a day. She lost her life when some punk robbed her and ran over her with his car trying to get away. I turned 63 this August. Should have taken better care of my self when I was young.

 

[jframe]

Lost Mom in March of 2005 due to a staph infection after a routine hip replacement. She'd always had more health trouble than Dad. She was 72; doesn't seem that old to me. Dad is 82 now, walks at the local mall six days a week, and only takes about three pills a day. He's probably in better shape than I am at only 42. I think his blood pressure pill is slowing him down quite a bit lately though; he seems to fatigue more now, and that's one of the pill's side effects. He is short, and used to be stocky, but now that the doc has given him the pills for chloresterol and blood pressure, he just doesn't eat much anymore. My Mom cooked a lot, and he still fixes breakfast, but that's about it, except for frozen foods. I would think this frozen **** was bad for him, but his doc gives him really good health reports all the time. Still miss Mom something bad; always will.

 

[ordy]

My dad passed from a massive heart attack on Christmas eve about ten yrs ago. He was talking on the phone with my brother at the time. When my brother called to tell me the bad news, the first thing I said was, "what the heck did you say to him?". I guess the only thing worse than getting older is the alternative.

 

[Bert Man]

Yes, losing your parents is inevitable (if you outlive them) and it definitely leaves a huge empty place inside you. You take their presence in your life for granted for so many years and then they are gone. If you haven't already, this is when you are forced to finally grow up.

I lost my Dad in 1990 to heart disease at 69. It was difficult to watch his decline during the last year or so of his life. He was a WWII veteran,
loved his family, hunting and fishing, one of the most honorable men I have had the privilege of knowing, and a great role model. Most of all he taught me by example how a man should conduct his life. For that I will always be in his debt.

Mom passed away a little over three years ago at 84. She was tenacious and held tightly to life until the very end. She had always held our family together through good times and bad and, as I later realized, she often did without so the rest of us had what we needed. My sister and I were at her bedside when she finally slipped away from us, and, at that point, our lives changed forever.

I am now 66 and the oldest in our extended family. My greatest wish now is that I may, in even a small way, make the most of what my parents worked so hard to instill in me. Thanks, Mom and Dad, you make me proud to have been your son.

 

[silentflyer]

We all deal with this if we are lucky enough not to lose them to something sudden when they are younger. Dad will be 85 in Dec. a WW2 Navy vet, still in pretty good shape a couple of stints and by-passes, but still drives and is very active. Doesn't hunt anymore, but still loves to fish. Mom is in decline, Alzheimer's and dementia, diabetes slowly, taking there toll on her health. Dad is taking care of her as best he can, my 4 sisters and brother and I do all we can, still have her at home for now. We have a lady that comes in 1/2 days Mon-Fri and we take turns on the weekends. It's rough watching them age, but no one's figured out how do beat the deal yet..our best hope is they go peacefully with out any suffering. When we were young they took great care of us, now it's or turn to try do the same for them.

 

[foggood11]

Lost my dad about 10 days ago, so it's still very fresh. In the end, his mind was gone and he didn't know who any of us were. He was something else -- the quintessential "Greatest Generation". We're all losing something in that regard, little by little.

Lost mom to cancer a little over 2 years ago, and not a day goes by that I don't think of her. They were married over 65 years. If I have a decision to make nowadays, I find myself asking "what would mom tell me to do?" She was always willing to listen and help me.

It's tough to lose your parents, but it's the way of the world. Cherish them while you can. Remember: headstones don't talk back. If I could trade places with either of them right now to repay them for all that they did for me, I think I would.

Time marches on.

 

[WC145]

I've always said that one of the toughest moments in a man's life is when he realizes that his father is mortal. The next toughest comes seconds later when he realizes he is, too. For me, that moment came 8 or 9 years ago when my Dad gave me back a rifle I'd given him for his birthday back in 1979, because a stroke a few years before had left him shaking enough that he couldn't shoot it accurately any more. It broke my heart.

I'm lucky to still have both my parents but now they're in their mid-70s and starting to show their age. It's all inevitable but still hard to watch. Whoever said getting old wasn't for the weak wasn't kidding.

 

[hanken]

I have lost both of my parents now and I never knew lonely like I can know it now.The one thing it has taught me is when I feal lonely now the only place I can turn to get satisfyed is in Jesus.I am getting out of this world alive thru Him.

 

[jdh]

I did the same thing to my parents they did to theirs, joined the military and moved away so I was not there when dad diagnosed with a fast and aggressive lung cancer. Mom is doing ok. She has enough drama in her life with her other two children so I try to maintain a low profile. Which means I don't get to see her very often. I hope she understands.

 

[jspick]

Both MIL and FIL and my father are gone. My mother is in her last year.

I took care of my FIL and great aunt. I am letting my brother take care of mom. It is very weraing and I lost a good deal of health dealing with my FIL and great aunt at the same time. I spent more time gone than home for two years.

I am only 55 but feel a lot older. Death is a part of life on this earth. I only hope when I kick the bucket I can do it with all my mental capacities and with dignity like my father did.

The near death experiance is a great insight for what is on the other side of the dying experiance. The only pain is for those of us who are left behind. That is hard.

John

 

[trapper704]

All of mine and my wife's family has passed on except for brothers and sister and a few cousins. It is pure hell on me, I'm 67, mentaly I feel like I can still do everything I've always done...............but the body dosen't go along. When the hell did all this happen? I guess it's better than the alterative. But enjoy yourself when your young and make lot's of good memories, cause these golden years aren't what they are cracked up to be. The grandkids are a blessing but even they wear grandpa out.

 

[brucev]

Strokes left my mother an paralyzed only able to blink. Nine years later, in 2003 she died at home. A few months later my identical-twin brother died of cancer. From discovery to his death was four weeks and two days. In 2007 my father died of cancer. I conducted the funeral for each of them. I am now the oldest remaining family member with a younger brother surviving. We are much closer than we were when the family was still intact. My daughters seem to have a greater regard for me than I remember having when I was in my 20's and my father was in his 50's. It is a strange thing. I remember how hard Daddy worked. Us boys all worked with him in the family business (landscapping/tree service). It was very hard work. Now... it all seems like a distant memory. I can still hear the sound of my mother singing "How Great Thou Art." I remember the sound of my father's voice the last time I every heard him pray. It is hard to remember the sound of my brother's voice. I don't know quite how to explain it. Yesterday I did my daily jogging carrying a Springfield 5.9 million M-1 Garand w/ a barrel date of 2/56. I was trying to get it ready for my brother before he died. I didn't make it. I have a few things that belonged to my father and mother and a S&W 28-2 that my brother gave to me. I look at them and the memories become stronger. I do wish more pictures had been taken. There just aren't enough of them. Sorry for the ramble.

 

[LTC]

I still have my Father. He turned 91 last April. We lost Mom about 7 years ago at age 86. She was worn out, her back / spine was shot and nearly blind. Pop took care of her to the end.

At 87 or so Pop had to have a new heart valve, a couple of bypass' and a pacemaker. This kept him home from work for about 4 months. Yes I said work. He still goes to work 5 days a week at 91. His health is relitively stable and his mind is as clear as ever.

We have worked togeather in the same industry and employers for the past 45 years. He still proves to be an assest every day. Losing Mom was hard but losing Dad will be the biggest heartache of my life.

While physically he is a shadow of his former self, he does all he can every day. When he can no longer manage to put in a days work and is forced to stay home I'm affraid he won't last but a few months.

I dread the day I know is coming.

LTC

 

[wbraswell]

My story may seem a little strange. I am an only child, and I have always lived close to my parents. I was there to take Dad to doctors when he couldn't drive anymore, and spent 2006-2011 living in my Mother's house more than mine, looking after her. When Dad passed in 1998, strangely I didn't feel grief. I felt so lucky that I had him for 45 years, thinking that Mom lost her Dad at age 5, a cousin lost his as an infant. Others, when they were teens. Mom died last Dec., she was 98, physically wore out and had mild dementia. I saw her take her last breath. Again, I felt so lucky, to have been raised by such great folks, who I loved and admired so much. I think I smiled all through her service. They may be gone, but they are with me every day.