Got a Break This Morning . . .Grateful

[Tom S.]

While driving my wife's mini van, I was pulled over by the Ontario (Canada) Provincial Police. The officer came up to my window and said "Sir, I clocked you at 145." Before my brain could engage, I told her she was full of, well you know what, and there was no way on earth that van could 145. She politely reminded me Canada was on the metric system, and she was talking about kilometers per hour, not miles per hour. She let me go with a warning. I told my wife the officer really just wanted to get my phone number because she thought I looked hot driving that van.

 

[A-37]

Air Force License Plates

Got pulled over doing 56 in a 45 zone. Gave the cop my documents and he went back into his car to check me out. Came back, handed me my docs and said, "Retired Air Force, eh?" "Yes, sir, thirty years." "Okay, keep your speed down and thanks for your service." "Yes, sir, thank you!"

 

[LVSteve]

Aah, the classic failure to yield to oncoming traffic, but somehow it's your fault. Yes, I think we've all met that driver and his kin.

 

[32flyingk9]

I wouldn't advise using this one unless you are really good friends with person wearing the badge. Had a rookie that trained on my shift pull me over one evening. I decided to pull my hat down low, and have a little fun with him.

When I pulled over, I waited for him to step out and start his approach, then I let my truck roll forward about 10ft. He stopped. I stopped. He started approaching again, and I rolled forward another 10 ft, really slow. He got back in his car and pulled forward. Then I cracked the window about 2 inches and waited, trying to hide my grin.

Officer: "Sir, I stopped you for speeding. I need to see your license and proof of insurance."

Me: "I know that's a lie. I never speed when I've been drinking."

He stood there for a moment trying to figure out his response to that, with a look of utter confusion on his face. That's when I lost it and busted out laughing.

And no, I had not been drinking.

 

[jimmyj]

Old Cop's saying: "The driver's mouth writes the citation, all we do is fill in the blanks"

 

[Mainsail]

Back in the early 80s I was down at Altus AFB in Oklahoma. There's a main drag that runs through town and takes you to the next real city in the area, Lawton. The road is divided by a grass strip with breaks to cross about every 50 yards or so.

I was heading up that road at about 65mph when I spotted a cop coming towards me on the other side. My radar detector suddenly flew into a rage and I knew he had me. We passed each other right at the midpoint between the breaks in the center strip, and in my mirror I saw him signal a left at the next break. So I did the same.

We both simultaneously made left U-turns around the grass strip and passed each other again about mid way between. In my mirror I saw him slow to U-tun again in the very place I had, so I threw my left signal on and U-turned where he had previously, and again we passed each other at the mid-way point. Now, bear in mind that he hasn't turned on his disco lights yet, so I'm not failing to yield.

Well in my mirror I see him make his third U-turn so I do likewise and now we're both going in the direction we started when it all began. He didn't make another U-turn and we both went our separate ways, with me making a renewed effort to keep it closer to 55.

 

[TX-Dennis]

When I was young and not so smart, I think I was 19 at the time, I was doing about 80 in a 55 coming into town on a highway. I saw the DPS trooper traveling in the opposite lane too late. I knew he had me. I also knew he had a fair way to go on the divided highway before he could do a Uie. So . . . I turned into a neighborhood, made a few quick turns, and parked in an alley for about 15 minutes until I felt it was safe to go home.

I got away with it, but I lived in dread every time some one knocked on the door for the next two weeks afraid that he'd gotten my plate and they were there to arrest me for evading.