"He don't know

[Biginge]

Bigwood from brush." Another of Grandfathers sayings. Again the merit of his wisdom shines through. Seems we are surrounded by neer-do-wells these days.

 

[Mule Packer]

I always heard it as, "He don't know manure from honey"...but we probably shouldn't say something like that on a family forum. Sorry.

 

[shouldazagged]

If you put that boy's brain in a jaybird it would fly backward.

Somebody said, "Cheer up, it could be worse." So I cheered up, and sure enough, it got worse.

 

[vonn]

Something about Shinola I don't know

 

[cussedemgun]

He don't know-

Can't tell apples from onions.

That boy's sharp as a marble.

 

[Chipmunk6]

"He couldn't pour p**s out of a
boot, with directions on the heel
and the toe cut out"....from
my granddad.
Chipmunk6

 

[HOUSTON RICK]

Not even as sharp as a truckload of basketballs.

 

[Iggy]

His brain is like a BB in a box car.

 

[bricker]

My ex-father in law's favorite saying was "He is about as broad between the eyes as a redworm."

 

[ironhead7544]

Couldnt find his butt with both hands and a flashlight.

 

[Bkreutz]

Raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock!
Howling like a dog passing razor blades! (I substituted the word passing for the word Dad actually used )

My Dad was a proficient expert at one liners. (me, not so much)

 

[ironhead7544]

If you break both your legs, dont come running to me.

 

[oberon]

Shiverin' like dog passin' ice cubes.
(passin' as the socially acceptable participle form of the infinitive: 'to pass'.)

 

[Step N. Mud]

He leaves a trail a herd of elephants couldn't cover.

Or

He couldn't trail a herd of elephants.