how not to do a tactical dump
I was on a roadblock with four other MP's during a riot in DC, armed with a shotgun, rifles, ammo, and lots of CS gas grenades among us, when one guy had to take a dump. We had been using a men's room in a gas station on the corner, so he headed over there. When he dropped trou and tried to sit down, he realized that his webgear was too bulky to get properly situated. He unhooked the web belt, shrugged out of the harness, and tossed the mass of straps and pouches on the floor. To his horror, one of the gas grenades went off, leaving him with pants down around his ankles, gas mask tangled therein, business on the way, rifle and gear on the floor, and the small room rapidly filling with the most noxious non-lethal stuff you could imagine. He pinched his loaf, grabbed his gear, and stumbled out of the room in a white cloud of gas, pants still around his ankles. We'd heard him yell and saw him emerge from the cloud, crying, coughing, drooling and puking, an image that is, to borrow a popular phrase, seared in my memory. I can't remember his name or see his face anymore, but I can still see that olive drab wraith with pale legs staggering out of the cloud of gas.