I almost never cry at work....

[WC145]

I've been a respiratory therapist for close to 20 years and between that and many years in LE not much bothers me any more. However, today is one of those days.

A 91 year old man came in the ER first thing this morning. He was unresponsive and not breathing. We intubated him and got him stabilized and went for a head CT. He had a huge bleed, the kind you don't come back from. We took him back to the ER and I put him on a ventilator (life support) and went about my business while they brought his little 88 year old wife in to see him. The doctor and clergyman tried to explain what had happened and that there was nothing we could do to save him.

She seemed to be a little confused and was trying hard to understand everything. They were telling her that the best thing to do would be to take him off the ventilator and let him go quietly. She asked for some time and they left the room so it was just her and her husband and me tending the vent. At times like that I try to give people as much space and privacy as I can but sometimes it's pretty tight quarters.

She got up from her chair and moved close to her husband and stood there crying while she rubbed his shoulders and touched his face. She leaned in close and gave him a long kiss on the cheek and said, "I wish I knew what you would do if it was me. Would you be able to let me go?". Then she left the room. It broke my heart.

I just took him off life support.

 

[Doug627]

I was a respiratory therapist in the 80s. I have been in your shoes. I've silently prayed form many a patient and with their permission opening prayed for some of them. I had to make the decision not to place my father on life support this past April. My mother and brother couldn't do it. I feel for the widow. It is a rotten situation. I do not know what it would be like to live the rest of my life without my wife. I pray that God comforts this woman and you.

 

[mg357]

I will add you and that poor widow to my prayer list.

 

[xray97]

Man that's tough, really tough. Hard not to relate to that on a personal level.

 

[beach elvis]

My heart is now broken.:-(

 

[Memphis]

I also hardly ever cry at work. But I just did, reading that. She is in my prayers sir.

Roger

 

[venomballistics]

What stings worse?
the heartfelt acts seen and told, or the underlying truth that either we, or our better halves will some day face this ourselves?
Most will hold silent the words she spoke, though I dont think we will avoid them.

 

[Iggy]

What happened to my screen? It went blurry on me.
I've been in LE, dealt with dying in my family, and animals and it always tears me up.
Bless you for what you do and may you have continued strength to do it.

 

[airman]

My condolences to you and the widow.
To avoid that condition I have made an Advance Directive disallowing any life support.My relatives, doctors and hospital all have copies.

 

[OLDFED]

Blessings to you and all like you.

So sad a story, but indicative of a lack of communication on the part of the couple. Each of us should know what our family would do in a similar place. Death would be so much easier for all. Vaya con Dios.

 

[Iggy]

My condolences to you and the widow.
To avoid that condition I have made an Advance Directive disallowing any life support.My relatives, doctors and hospital all have copies.

Yup, me too.

 

[Armyphotog]

What is sad to me is that they felt the need to put him on a ventilator to start with. Seems kind of like killing him twice. No wonder his wife was confused. What seems unkind to me is having her make the "decision" for one she had spent her life with, when the decision had already been made by God, or if you don't believe in that sort of thing, how about medical circumstances, instead.

 

[g_conway]

I admire your ability to help others, no matter how much it hurts you.

My condolences to all.

 

[tops]

There is not much that bothers me but that story made me cry. It is hard to let go when you love someone. Larry

 

[bnkrtstk]

11 years ago I had to inform the docs to let my dad go because his wife, and my older brother could not speak the words. It stil haunts me to this day, yet it also gives me peace.

 

[revolvergeek]

Man, that is hard hard. I doubt that I would be strong enough to do your job. My Great Aunt went through basically that same scene with my Great Uncle last year. I was there with her when he went. They were married right at 70 years.

 

[Steve in Vermont]

I believe the hardest part of being a LEO is death notifications, at least is was for me. Walking into a kitchen at 2AM to tell a mother and father their 17 year old daughter will never be coming home, or holding a dying teenager (killed by a DUI) while his sister is standing next to us screaming his name (it was Bobby). God, just writing about this brings tears to my eyes. That's enough for now, but I take some solace in knowing I have many brother officers out there who understand. There is some comfort in a shared experience. We are not alone.

 

[rondo]

My heart is now broken.:-(

Me too.

 

[PA Reb]

What is sad to me is that they felt the need to put him on a ventilator to start with. Seems kind of like killing him twice. No wonder his wife was confused. What seems unkind to me is having her make the "decision" for one she had spent her life with, when the decision had already been made by God, or if you don't believe in that sort of thing, how about medical circumstances, instead.

Armyphotog ~ I have also worked as a resgistered respiratory therapist for more than twenty years now in a level 1 trauma hospital. Sadly, in this line of work, I / we are exposed to this situation on a daily basis (sometimes several times a day) with people as young as neonates clear on up to and including the very old. Unless the patient or the person that will make decisions for the patient is present to tell the resus team what they specifically want done, it is absolutely not "unkind" to do everything humanly possible to "stabilize" the patient's vital signs, find out what's wrong with the patient, and then make difficult decisions on what should or should not be done. Medical professionals are sworn to protect the sanctity of life at all costs until such time as a patient or the patient's next of kin tells us to stop, period. In the end, the Good Lord's decision is final anyway.

So, I'm with you "WC145". Keep up the good fight as best you can. Sometimes we win and other times we lose but, never stop trying my friend!

 

[medxam]

Airman is RIGHT!

Don't put this burden on your loved ones. It is not fair. My wife and I have already settled this question in our lives.

God Bless to all involved.

medxam