I was told I need to talk about and address this

[Viss]

I will be praying for you. God Bless.

 

[zercool]

I keep coming back to this post and re-reading it. I have not served, and constantly question my decision not to.

I do not envy you your demons. I do not have the salve to heal your pain. I do have an ear, a shoulder, and a thank-you.

Every day is Veteran's Day... o'er the home of the brave.

 

[Bat Guano]

I was out and about today when I saw a motor home with VA markings in a lot; just out of curiosity I stopped by to see what it was about. Turned out it was sort of a mobile outreach program. Got to talking to the reps and they said that they had guys from recent wars, Vietnam, and even WWII stopping by with 'issues'. Apparently somebody felt this matters...

A few years back I ran across a couple of books, I believe by Jonathan Shay: 'Achilles in Vietnam' and 'Odysseus in America'. The first discussed GI difficulties in-country, and the second experiences back in the world. You might find them worthwhile.

Good luck--and thanks.

 

[Kelly Green]

I won't minimize what you went through in Nam because I was there—173rd Airborne 1967/1968. As a survivor of some of the most vicious battles of that war, I can only say that all of us who served over there were affected in one-way or another. I'm not a therapist nor a minister so I won't advise you on how to handle your personal conflict. The surgeons repaired the wounds we could see and left it to other professionals to try and heal the wounds only we know exist. As others have stated, the VA offers an excellent program. God Bless you brother.

 

[pawncop]

Well sir, you now have an extended family, with prayers for your peace, suggestons for your well being, gratitude for your service, and ears to listen with.

I wish I had the right words, the knowledge, the ability to ease the pain you obviously feel. Alas, I do not.

Just know that we are with you, even though we are separated by distance.

May you find the peace you deserve, and pass it on to another you find that needs it as well.

 

[Gray Rider]

Captain Stuart, I have no words that can take away your pain or guilt, no matter how much I feel that that guilt is unwarranted. There is One, however, who can give you comfort, while it may sound trite to the unbeliever, those of us who know Him know that he is the God of all comfort. "I heard a loud voice from the throne saying "Now the dwelling of God is with men, and he will live with them. They will be his people, and God himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."" Rev21;3-4 . I will pray for you and for your lost comrades. All the way, Sir. (82nd Abn 1977-79)

 

[2fingers]

Sir, Thank You For Your Service! Please get the Help you need to let go of the demons. PEACE to You!

 

[K.38]

Sir, thank you for your service, welcome home and God Bless. You and all vets are in my thoughts and prayers.

Most of us have never met in person but we are friends and will help in anyway we can even if it is to only listen.

God Bless

 

[rpbcab]

Read and re-read what Lee and Gray Rider wrote, they were right on target. God has a plan for all of His Creations and he has a specific plan for you. Listen, be still and you will hear from God, I pray for peace in your soul....

 

[Cooter Brown]

"Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less." Robert E. Lee.

This...

Thanks for your service.
69-70 for me, so Vet to Vet-

Damn that war.
Easy to say- "____ it, it don' mean nothin' ", harder to do.

Coulda, woulda, shoulda.
You need to put that stuff down.
If you burned up a 60, you're telling me that it was a bad scene. I'm giving it to you that you did what you thought best in the heat of the moment. EVEN if you made a mistake, stuff happens. You're not perfect, the gun wasn't perfect, and battles are never perfect- the perfect battle plan only lasts till the first shot is fired.
You were in a rough area. Very rough. You don't know what would have happened after that day. As someone else said- it may have been their time.

That you still feel the burden speaks to your character. Use that character today, and honor them with your life. Yesterday's gone; tomorrow never comes. Today counts.

I don't know why, but this really struck me. Maybe the stars are just in alignment, but I had to walk away from this twice. I did a few things I wish I hadn't, and did not do a few things I wish I had. I know you've played "what if" and "if only" and considered what a simple twist of fate can do. Fact is, we'll never know, so we're just amusing ourselves or wasting time when we do it.

Bring yourself home. Nobody else will. Grant yourself permission and whatever forgiveness you need. You certainly have mine for whatever it's worth. I'm not saying don't seek counseling, just that in the end, you must decide to get through it. The help is not a bad idea.

You have my compliments.

Godspeed, and may peace be upon your life, and in your head.

 

[TACC1]

Please remember that there were two sides to that fight. The other
side was playing to win, too. TACC1

 

[CH47gunner]

First & foremost - you are NOT alone.
I started going to the VA in 2005. I started with individual counseling and for the last five years I've been doing the group thing.
The way that this PTSD was explained to me was that we had been indoctronated in Basic training, trained for fight or flight, experienced same, then were told to put it away and go on living with the normal people.
Pretty tough for me to do - I crewed or was in charge a million dollar helicopter, making life or death decisions, and now I'm supposed to pretend it never happened and pay my electric bill.
OK - I get it, at least sometimes or sometimes you'll find me in the garage taking deep breaths.
My point is - go to the VA (I go to one of the local Vets Centers here), talk to them, get involved with one of the vets groups. Talk with people who have been there and have experienced what you are.

Good luck and Welcome Home,

Bruce

 

[badam0112]

I have no experience as a veteran. But I have plenty of experience in carrying guilt, shame and remorse. I chose to drown it in alcohol for many years. That wasn't the answer and nearly brought me to my maker. There is nothing wrong with reaching out for help. As many here have already said, seek counseling. I was able to let go of that guilt, shame and remorse with a lot of outside help and god. I no longer carry that heavy load and life is good today. And I haven't had a drink in over 15 years thanks to that outside help and god. I hope you are able to find that same peace of mind. You will find out that there are many people who struggle with issues like you have described. But there is a lot of help out there and you deserve it. I am praying for you too. And thank you for your service!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Odinkar]

I to want to thank you for your service. Please contact the VA or you might try Militaryonesource. They may be able to help you as well.

 

[sipowicz]

I pray you find some peace in this situation..just know your heart and soul was in the right place.

 

[BE Mike]

Even though I had easy duty compared to you, as a former "Screaming Eagle" 68-69 RVN, I witnessed a lot of what you went through. I can't help but feel that those lost would blame any of us who survived. I think that they would salute us and want us to go on with our lives. We do, at some point, have to forgive ourselves our shortcomings and learn to live with ourselves. I don't think that the scars will ever really heal, but we can learn to live with them, once we learn to live with ourselves. Seek help from the VA, brother.

 

[Speedo2]

The only people that never make mistakes are the ones that don't do anything. Thank you for your service and welcome home; glad that you're here. Take what you've learned and try to pass it on to your kids. Sometimes they even listen. -S2

 

[tacreload]

Captain Stuart
I have read this post over and over,I hesitate to respond but I feel I must.On the date of which you speak I was in the 8th grade vaguely aware of what was going on in the world,especially your world.I had an older friend serve there and lost a cousin there.My father reinforced the cold hard facts thinking that I would be involved.It turns out I wasn't so I cannot imagine your anguish.I believe that you did the best you could have done with what you were given to work with.I admire your bravery and your devotion to your lost brothers.I hope I have not offended.

 

[Badkarma 1]

Sir! Go to the VA and see the councilors there! They have helped me deal with my own nightmares and get back to civilian life!
If you'd like to talk PM me. Dale

 

[semperfi71]

A lot of good advice here. I served from 1971 to 1975 all peacetime.

I do know this. Nobody makes it through life on their own. Please seek help if you need it.

Thanks also for your service. You are braver than most.