I'm having a well-deserved drink...

[Neversink n Klapperthal]

after my mom died in 2017 my older brother told me that I was the favorite and he was always jealous of me. That explains the years of sarcasm to me and the insults. It explains why he was always beating me up as a kid.We`ve gone our separate ways. I dont care if I never hear from him again. Good riddence

 

[G-Mac]

after my mom died in 2017 my older brother told me that I was the favorite and he was always jealous of me. That explains the years of sarcasm to me and the insults. It explains why he was always beating me up as a kid.We`ve gone our separate ways. I don't care if I never hear from him again. Good riddance

I feel the same way about my brother. We're done. He had been using my mother his entire adult life. I had just hoped that we could put all that aside until after she was buried. Apparently, we can't, and that was his choice.

 

[Doug44]

G-Mac you have my sympathy. Sorry for your loss. My Mom passed away a few years back. There were 6 of us kids. She left everything to the younger brother. Because of that I never offered to pay any of the expenses and he never asked. He made all the arrangements since the rest lived out of state. I have to no ill will toward him. We talk and text on a regular basis. Maybe someday you and brother will mend things.

 

[9mmPatriot]

I have nothing to add except my condolences for your loss.


There's a special place in heaven for mothers, I'll bet to dollars to donuts your mother is already at ease there.

 

[grover99]

After I retired as a chef I got a job as a caretaker at a funeral home. I’ve been doing this for the last 15 years and you see all the best and all the worst behavior in people. The best advice I can give is pre-plan pre-plan. We call it pre need. A Funeral Home will be happy to set a plan for you at no charge and keep it on file until needed. you can also make payments in advance and whenever the service is needed you will pay what the charges were when you set up the plan even if it was 10 years earlier. In Missouri even if the funeral home goes out of business there is a fund set up by the state that will cover your preneed

 

[A3great]

sorry for the loss, may her soul rest in peace


And as for your brother try sort things with him, Peace be onto you two

 

[TheHobbyist]

I "liked" your post because I have empathy and sympathy for what you are going through. I am truly sorry for your loss and her family and friends.

My Dad died, unexpectedly, about two years ago. It was very hard on our small family.

Not trying to defend your brother, but he might not be "all there" on this matter.

Funeral homes, I genuinely have a low opinion of. I am sure that there are some doing good work in this world. My experience is that they charge a lot of money, when folks are having a hard/emotional time...I was literally told by the place that took my Dad in..."Wouldn't you want a comfortable pillow to rest his head for all eternity"? Said pillow was around $1,500.00. So you may be able to perceive my skepticism.

Dad could hold a quarter and with enough time, make it into folding money. That is, he was cheap, although he needn't be. We had his funeral and cremation I believe for around $4,000.00 and that was basic, but in accordance with his wishes.

I obviously do not know your situation, but I will say that it may be good advice to consider where your family is coming from. Loss of a parent is very tough. Even now, two years later approximately, it is still challenging for a number of reasons.

I hope and pray you find peace. Doesn't matter the age, someone who made a huge impact on your life has passed on. They are in a better place. Take comfort in this thought. Best, TH.

 

[Laketime]

Prayers sent to you and your family.

 

[G-Mac]

Well, my brother and I are still not talking. I doubt we ever will again. I called the funeral director to see what, if anything, was going on with my mothers remains (she was cremated). He said that he felt he could act as an intermediary between my brother and I. He then said that my brother told him to tell me that I could do "whatever I want" as far as funeral arrangements for my mom. So, I bought a plot in the cemetery that I originally wanted and have arranged a grave side service with a minister and a bag piper (Mom was from Scotland) for next Saturday. I also arranged a buffet lunch at a close by restaurant for after the service. The restaurant is opening early just for us to do this. I'll be ordering the grave stone too. Will be glad when this is over. Thanks for listening.

 

[ladder13]

G, sorry to hear about your mom, my condolences.

 

[KalamazooKid]

Sad to hear this G. Wishing the best for you going forward. Your brother has his own demons to deal with.

 

[NYlakesider]

Sorry to hear the bad news my friend!

Soon things should get a little better!

Unless it has changed the person closest to the deceased "owns" the body in NYS and thats what by law the funeral director pays attention to! I personally had a situation like that when my dad died.


Be well, Dave