Lawyer Joke

CAJUNLAWYER

CAJUNLAWYER

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'

The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.


Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you ' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.


Then a Lawyer came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill , the barber again replied, 'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Lawyer was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Lawyers lined up waiting for a free haircut.
 
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NIH Directive to minimize the use of Laboratory Rats

The National Institute of Health has issued a directive to all researches to stop using rats whereever possible and start using lawyers instead.
Three reasons were cited:

1. There are more attorneys than laboratory rats.

2. The researches will not get as attached to the rats as they will to the lawyers(Lab rats get real nasty and their bites are painful.. no one in their right mind gets attached to them)

3. Finally there are just some things you can not get a rat to do...
 
Since this is a firearms forum, what do you call a large group of lawyers skydiving?

Skeet shoot!
........................................................

An ethics question.

It is lunch time and you are walking along the shore of a beautiful lake. Suddenly you notice your ex-wife's divorce lawyer and the IRS agent who audited you both drowning in the lake. You can only save one of them.

So, do you read a book or eat your sandwich?

CW
 
Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of US$10,000,000.00
His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place.
It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing, so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer: "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido: "Where's the money?"
Guido signs back: "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather: "He says he doesn't know what you are talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says: "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido: "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs back: "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer: "What did he say? "The lawyer replies: "He says you don't have the guts to pull the trigger"
 
What's the difference between a dead polecat in the middle of the road and a dead attorney in the middle of the road?

There's skid marks in front of the polecat.:D

Sorry, Caj, but you started it.
Jim
 
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