IMHO if you do not need the power of the 44 Mag, then the 45 ACP/Auto Rim is the best protection revolver on the planet.
I agree with you on this. Against two legged threats, I really don't think the 44mag is a wise choice for protection. Having fired a 44mag indoors without hearing protection, I now do a lot of lip-reading to compensate for my substantial hearing loss. Firing one inside an automobile would probably lead to complete hearing loss and concussion grenade-like sensory impact. And try firing one while in a grappling situation with the gun against your side, face, or any part of you person for that matter.
The first shot is not always the deciding shot, so I'd rather carry something I can shoot accurately, and quickly. My brother's favorite gun is his 41mag Mountain Gun. For me it's a toss-up between my 45colt Mountain Gun and my 22-4 Thunder Ranch. When we shoot together, I can get three well placed rounds off with either the 45colt or the 45acp to one of his from the 41mag.
If I could guarantee that should the need to use a handgun in self defense ever arise (God forbid), I would be outdoors, have hearing protection on, and not need to fire the weapon with the muzzle in very close proximity to any part of your body, while shooting from a modified weaver stance, and not need a second shot, I might pick a 44mag for my carry piece. Since these variables are seldom controlable, I defer to a cartridge that is effective without significant muzzle blast and recoil.
I know many guys who are comfortable and affective with a 41 or 44mag, but that doesn't rule out the indoor affects, or the impact the muzzle and cylinder gap blast has on exposed or even covered flesh when fired against your body. In my experience, self defense situations are seldom comfortable, convenient, or even expected. If you are going to carry a firearm in case of such an event, it is a wise idea to consider and prepare for scenarios other than a timed shooting event at the local range. Those skills are valuable, but not always applicable. More often, it is an awkward, ugly event involving distances and positions that many never practice for.