Mall Ninjas

[rwt1405]

One of the threads recently reminded me of something/one from a few years ago, perhaps some of you might remember it/them, Gecko45, THE Mall Ninja!

For those that may not remember him (and for those that do!), I found a collection of his posts, you might just get a good laugh reading them (I know I did, again!).

Here ya go, enjoy...!!!!!

Shrine of the Mall Ninja >>
LonelyMachines

 

[Arik]

I remember that when it was being posted! Great times!!

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[Smoke]

I found a link to the actual original threads on Glocktalk one day and read all of the posts. It was hilarious but I never could find it again.

 

[BAM-BAM]

Wow........ those two make my old crew of Hospital Security Dept. Guys..... seem like Barney Fifes...... thank goodness I was able to get them an MRAP for parking lot patrol.......................



Actually they were a bunch of nice guys.... happy with their Model 10s and golf carts.

By the way someone owes me a new keyboard.

 

[Iggy]

I had about forgotten about Gecko45.. Lots of laughs back then.

 

[federali]

What?

By chance, was there ever a shopping mall for the inmates at the Guantanamo Bay detention camp?

 

[chud333]

Some good stuff and those two guys could make
me roll over laughing.
They had outstanding fictional writing skills.
I just want to believe in my heart they were a couple
of jokesters. Trying to out do each other with laughs.

Sadly tho' there are folks out there that might really
think this way.

The internet is not always a good thing.


Chuck

 

[Arik]

.


The internet is not always a good thing.


Chuck

But it's always good for a laugh

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[Jessie]

Funny, yes... But the joke was on anyone who responded.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

I may not be much better than this guy. But I'm just a newbie. I'm not trying to live a fantasy.

But I even laugh at those mall Ninja's!!!
This guy is a joke. Lol.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

I stumbled across that page a couple of years ago. Got a kick out of it.

 

[shouldazagged]

A relatively primitive sub-species of the Mall Ninja is the Wally World Commando.

These creatures are believed to be more numerous but even less intelligent or highly evolved.

The type is not normally dangerous unless found at firing ranges, keggers, or, for reasons scientists haven't identified, Tupperware parties.

They can be difficult to distinguish from the Mall Ninja, but there are telltale differences. The Commando's thigh holster is generally very cheap and empty, and footwear may be sneakers with white socks instead of desert boots. Personal grooming typically is not exhaustive. Naturalists who have studied the subspecies theorize that they use the scents of Tinactin, WD-40 and Skoal to mark territory, but this has not been proven conclusively.

For more on the subject, read Clyde Farthingworth's Poultry Strangulation: The Beer Depot Chronicles, Stalewater Press, 2008.

 

[rwsmith]

I couldn't keep reading...

i couldn't keep reading the tripe that gecko and his other aliases are spouting. He reminds me of Barney Fife. "Now these are our maximum security cells."

And they are the same person
because even though, the name changes, there isn't one change in writing style.

I'm really glad that where ever I go, the gas station, Walmart, or the drugstore there are a lot of people on the roof just clanking in armor risking life and limb to defend soft, unaware targets like myself

Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum Dum

^^^ Something like the 'Dragnet' theme.

PS: Does anybody think that an 8 1/2" minute response time is really slow even in a very big mall? I can walk the length of a good sized mall in that amount of time? How about if the mall is actually CROWDED? His mall probably has secret passages for quicker access.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

True professional s don't brag about thire experience. Those who do water down their stories.

Chris Kyle didn't even wear a thigh holster.

Mall will not form tact teams or use class 3 weapons. They could not afford too.

 

[Ghost Magnum]

There is nothing wrong with fantasise. But he went to far with it.

If someone wants to be in special operations then go after it. If he or she didn't make the cut. There is nothing wrong with that. People can still do great things as a grunt or a street cop. Hell people can do great things in private security.

But gecko45 and hia other name made a joke out of him self. Pretending to be a tact team leader in a mall is just funny.

 

[Mr.Shield]

That guys cheese slid off his cracker. I couldn't read anymore when I got to the part where he's watching over like god. What a goofy *******.


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[Muss Muggins]

I can envision a scenario where a bored blogger with time on his/her hands and a really awesome sense of humor made up every word of the postings of Gecko45 and SpecOps. I also have seen the journals and letters to public officials of several different paranoid schizophrenics over the years, and that is also a distinct possibility. The third choice is that which everyone seems to be making. Wouldn't take odd on any of them being the correct choice. All equally possible . . .

 

[petepeterson]

I vaguely remember that, or maybe saw it when it was re-posted.

That's definitely someone having fun. No one is that delusional.

Right???

 

[Onomea]

Yeah, I remember. That's some funny stuff!

 

[rwsmith]

Right......

I vaguely remember that, or maybe saw it when it was re-posted.

That's definitely someone having fun. No one is that delusional.

Right???

...Nobody could be THAT delusional. I'll have to log off for now. I hear a cry for help across town and I'm going to jump out the window and fly to their aid.