The 9mm is not my first choice, but like Old Cop, I've been at this for a very long time.... (40+ years, semi-retired rent-a-cop.) My 9C is on consignment at a local dealer's (I want a Shield40), but I have an old M39 for my daughter. She likes the 9mm....
That said, either the M&P9C or 9FS would be a good "learn to shoot" gun, as would the .22 version, although I don't consider any rimfire a reliable carry. Recoil is minimal (particularly with the 9FS), and most new shooters should be able to handle either one. The 9FS makes a good "house gun", too, when the time comes, but IMHO it's not a particularly good carry. That thing is BIG.... (I have a 40FS.) Overall, not a lot different than my old S&W M&P10HB .38 Revolver, although it's quite a bit lighter. The 40FS is a little snappy unless you're used to it (I am), but not a bad choice either as a "house gun"....
IMHO, you'd do about as well with a 9C as with the 9FS as a carry, although as a double-stacker, it's kind of thick. A 9mm Shield
might be suitable, but will take some getting used to. I thing you could get either double-stacker under control very quickly. Add the Shield later....
My EDC rotation is a pair of Officer's sized 1911's. A little heavy, but with a good belt, not a problem. Other than the seven round limitation, they are good solid guns that I trust. Lasers and night sights on both, too, but I don't think I'd go the extra money again. I'm not sure there's really any advantage....
'Round the house, it's an M&P40C. Mostly 'cause it's quite light, and doesn't require a special belt like the .45....
I don't get a lot of interest in the weight issue. I'm kinda big, which may have something to do with it, but with a good belt & holster the extra weight just doesn't seem to matter to me.
In the end, you really have to find a way to try these things. Little things can bite you.... My buddy Joe has a beautiful S&W M41 pistol. That's an expensive .22LR target semi. My very petite daughter can shoot her M22A (which is a very cheap copy of the M41

) all day, but can't shoot the M41. The rear joint of her thumb whacks the M41's thumb safety with about each shot. She prefers the M39 anyway....
Pants.... I was in the local gun pusher's a couple years ago when a kid from a local PD was trying on an ankle holster. While wearing shorts.... I reminded him of the first rule of ankle holsters: "Pants"....
Regards,