NEWS FLASH!!

[bk42261]

A story on the local "News" says a bear was spotted (i forget in which town-I was laughing too hard)
"Biologists" say the bear "probably came out of the woods and will likely return there"

 

[quikdraw67]

In other news, water is wet, and the sun rises in the East.

 

[dben002]

A story on the local "News" says a bear was spotted (i forget in which town-I was laughing too hard)
"Biologists" say the bear "probably came out of the woods and will likely return there"

Sounds like a group of highly educated Biologist there my man...
Did they by any chance say if this bear 's in the woods.....

 

[326MOD10]

It always amazes me some of the funny things that in print that aren't meant to be funny.

I worked security at a mall when I was in college. The mall was newer and built on farmland on, at that time, the western edge of the city.

One evening a deer was hit by a car crossing the road in front. The deer staggered into an open field on mall property until the PD helicopter spooked it. The deer was pretty mangled but managed to run through the lot at closing time scaring people and it became an ordeal that someone thought newsworthy.

Reporter shows up and hangs around for a couple hours to find out what happened. Eventually, I told him the deer got hit crossing the road and had to be put down by PD.

Next morning there is the drawn out story by a "staff writer" that ends with 'It is unknown why the deer chose to cross the road".

Next day I called the paper, with all the mall staff huddled around and asked to speak to the author of that great story.

I finally get guy on the phone and said, "This is Dr. Doolittle and I been out speaking to my animal friends. I wanted to let you know IT WAS TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE."

He was not amused to say the least. A person I knew worked there and said he went all over the building trying to figure out who pranked him.

 

[Rudi]

So often these idiots know nothing of what they speak.

 

[THE PILGRIM]

I’ve seen some bears, but none of them were spotted.
Once in Yellowstone one leaned heavy on my Pickup mirror and broke a mounting bolt.

 

[duke2002]

Flick said he saw a grizzley bear down by Polaskis candy store!!

 

[Hilldweller]

Used to live in SoCal and took many trips up to Big Bear; the local mountain retreat for summer hiking and skiing in the winter.
Aptly named I had two occasions where a resident black bears crossed the fire road in front of the jeep. Not too scary when we were in the vehicle and could “skidaddle” if necessary. We were away from the jeep on the second occasion.
Both times there was enough distance between us and the bear that it seemed more like visiting the zoo.

 

[K Frame Keith]

Flick said he saw a grizzley bear down by Polaskis candy store!!

Any reference to A Christmas Story gets a like. It’s not my rule, buts it a rule.

 

[UncleEd]

A story on the local "News" says a bear was spotted (i forget in which town-I was laughing too hard)
"Biologists" say the bear "probably came out of the woods and will likely return there"

Quite simply, the bear--a papa bear--was hoping to find who had been eating his porridge.

 

[DonSaba]

A story on the local "News" says a bear was spotted (i forget in which town-I was laughing too hard)
"Biologists" say the bear "probably came out of the woods and will likely return there"

Really? Do you suppose that these "biologists" could provide a definition for the word "woman"?

 

[kev74]

Any word on if he poops in the woods?

Inquiring minds want to know!

 

[sjmjax]

The article pretty much epitomes modern journalism.

 

[lihpster]

While deer hunting once, my brother was in a small ground blind next to a deer trail. As he was sitting there, a small black bear began coming up the trail, directly at him. He said it didn't seem to be following a scent, just seemed to be moseying up the trail, like it was going to work or something. Doug let it get to about 20 yards and then stood up and said "Hey!"
He said that bear swapped ends in an instant and started to head down the trail at top speed. While it was going it was, shall we say, trying to increase it's horsepower to weight ratio for more speed. My brother said that was proof that, this bear, poops in these woods at least.