Not A Good Week

[quikdraw67]

No, this isn't going to be about me *****ing about work, weather, inflation, or anything like that.

I got some shocking news about 2 classmates.

One dead at 55, the other fighting a losing battle against brain cancer at 53.

I know a lot of the members here are older than me (I'll be 55 in October). You guys and gals have dealt with this one way or another. I've dealt with it with my parents, my brother to suicide (he was 20 years older than me, but we were close), and I had a good friend/classmate die to substance abuse.

Everyone's parents die, my brother I processed over the years, and my friend I knew it was going to sooner than later.

But these 2 people....

The classmate that died was 55. He worked his *** off to get where he did. He started out as an EMT, then got a PhD and was also a NP. He had his own urgent care clinic. This guy was smart. The other day he wasn't feeling right at work. Called 911, while wheeling him the the ambulance he passed.

The other classmate went to beauty school. Somewhere along the way she decided to do something else and got a medical certification. Again, a smart gal. Only child, took care of her parents, both gone now. Never married, no kids. Had a motorcycle, lived life on her terms.

Beginning of August she's getting terrible migraines, which she never had. Gets checked out. Brain tumor. Found out yesterday that its a glioblastoma. I doubt my friend will see Christmas, let alone 54.

I'll pray for the soul of my dead classmate, and I'll pray for my sick classmate.

I'm not special or by any means looking for sympathy. But I would say this is a wake up call to my own mortality.

It's one thing when you read about strangers dying/being terminal.

It's another when you see it happen to peers you've known for 40+ years.

 

[JohnRippert]

I know some of what you are feeling. I lost two of my best friends, multiple close acquaintances and a good workmate in the last 10 years. All in their 50's. Getting close to 60 now and it is happening more and more every year. I hate to get used to it but it will only increase with time.

 

[arjay]

Seems like several go quite young,usually to accidents or suicide,then in our 50s several more are lost to undiagnosed coronary disease or cancer.You never know how much time is left. Make the most of it!

 

[paplinker]

I get where your coming from. I am 56 and two good friends of mine past away last fall.

My one buddy got covid and died after only 4 days in the hospital. He was 55. Died of a heart attack while being intabaited,

My other buddy since childhood died from blood clots in his legs.He was 57 Drove 18 wheelers across country. He actually messaged me in the hospital to wish me a happy birthday the night before, and passed a couple hours later.

Both guys were very healthy but were over weight.
Makes me feel I could do better with my weight.

I dealt with covid and blood clots myself in the last 5 years. I am very grateful to be here!

 

[Huskerguy]

I graduated from a small school in SW Nebraska, 13 kids in my class. 7 girls and 6 boys, 3 of the girls were my cousins.

My best friend died in 2016 at age 63. He smoked and had emphysema which I did not know about. Anyway, came home, fixed a meal, laid down before he ate and never woke up. Another boy was killed in an auto accident in Oklahoma and another just passed a couple weeks ago. He and his wife were at our 50th reunion in June, hadn't seen him since we graduated in 72. Between him and his wife, they could both hardly move, he was HUGE, not a tall guy, maybe 5'6" always stocky. About two weeks after our reunion they found a brain tumor, operated, he went home, had some infection, ended back in the hospital, fell out of the bed and killed him!

One classmate, a cousin, just found out a couple days before we got together that she has Parkinson's. She shook like crazy and drug her right foot and leg.

Sadly, of the ones who were there, I was in the best shape. The moral of the story is we don't get to decide when it is time, that's God's job. We need to make the most of every day, that is my job. Oh and today is my 49th anniversary.

 

[Bald1]

Seems that when I hit 50 people around me started to pass. I worked with several guys who retired 55-65 only to die within 1yr. My own dad died at 57. I'm 53 and I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about my own mortality. I guess it's natural to do so.

 

[robvious]

about all I can say is remember them... smile when you do... I lost my big sister when she was 40... lost 2 friends in college... 1 to leukemia, 1 to drunk driving.. lost my mother 13 months after I graduated from college... lost future father in law before we married.. lost father 11 months after son was born... diagnosed with stage 3 colon rectal cancer my sons senior year... died just after his graduation... got better... have had lung cancer.. squamous cell skin cancer... pancretitus... gall stones... blood clots... and severe lower back issues.. and some hearing loss.. I carry a diaper bag whenever I leave the house, which isn't often... I listed all this to make a point... kind of... life happens, choose to embrace it and enjoy it as much as possible... because it can and will leave you behind.. live laugh & love... so sorry if this makes no sense.. dealing with a pinched neck nerve and meds make it rough.. keep smiling...

 

[Krogen]

Ouch, Quikdraw67. I empathize. It keeps striking closer and closer. A Chinese friend once said it is to be expected of whitehairs, but blackhairs shock us. We are all gradually becoming whitehairs, but we still feel like blackhairs. When friends and contemporaries go it underlines our own mortality.

My Dad was the last survivor of his siblings, parents, aunts and uncles. One day he looked at me and said "I'm the last one." It weighed on him. Survivor guilt? Perhaps. More likely, it was "I'm next." He lived to 94, so while his own mortality concerned him, he went on with the business of life.

There comes a time when we've lost more friends and family than we have left. It's sobering for sure. I retired last June and I can tell you that this very issue was fodder for my decision. About a month before I bailed, a good friend fell to a catastrophic heart attack. Boom. It just happened. I won't hear Pete's voice again on this earth. It stings, but the only answer is to keep moving forward. Building new friendships helps heal the damage.

 

[pawncop]

I can relate. Young lady I worked with was 43 and died recently.

Take no day for granted. Tell the folks you care about how you feel about them.

 

[Beemerguy53]

For thirty years, I saw more people than I can remember leave this earth when they least expected it. Some of them passed away in their sleep...some were ill and fortunate enough to be with loved ones when their time came...some died terrible, painful deaths, the victims of fires or vehicle accidents or acts of violence. Some were gone when we got there, and some passed away as we were trying to save them.

The one indelible lesson I learned from those experiences is that the only moment we are promised is the one we are living right now. Make the most of your life, and never pass up the opportunity to tell those close to you that you love them.

Quickdraw, I'm truly sorry for your situation...I hope the memory of your friends will be a blessing and a comfort to you.

 

[Rustyt1953]

I know the weight you are bearing as many here have also borne those loads.

We are all but a breath away.

 

[Chubbo]

Why?

I've pondered the phenomena you mention for many years. Most of my friends, relatives, fellow-workers, and acquaintances have expired. Most of them wanted to continue living.
At 91+ years of age, why I'm still alive, bumfizzles me. There are times that I'd much rather be dead, as I've made more than my share of mistakes and regret them all.
I know that one shouldn't condemn his maker's methods, but the question of why, nags me.
There is an ultimate reason, for all things, we mortals just aren't deemed needy to know just why.
Just be patient, all will end for the best.
That's my candid belief.

Chubbo

 

[Golddollar]

Right now I seem to be getting caught between "I'm retired, I don't have to rush, I have time now" to "Hey, I'm getting up there." The question seems to be how to find the balance between them.

 

[michael1000]

Since New Year's Day I have lost 3 high school friends. Cancer seems to be the winner here. Funny, though, two of the guys never smoked and the last one was a "consumer." Like me.

 

[LVSteve]

These events often come in batches, I'm afraid. For a while it felt like I was on a treadmill of funerals of coworkers or their spouses. The causes were various, cancer, being run into the ground by their family, post-surgery infections, and the old favorite, heart attack due to poor diet and no exercise. As others have said, when you're a similar age, it does get your attention.

 

[Chubbo]

Yesterday I advised you on how to cope with unexplained happenings in our lives, today I am experiencing one of my own; This morning our sump pump failed, our basement flooded , and a lifetime of material things are ruined. Inevitably, one loses material gifts. It's best to enjoy those gifts while possible. And don't cry over spilled milk when they are gone. I'm trying to swallow that bitter pill at the present time, and practice what I preach.

Chubbo

 

[pittpa]

Yesterday I advised you on how to cope with unexplained happenings in our lives, today I am experiencing one of my own; This morning our sump pump failed, our basement flooded , and a lifetime of material things are ruined. Inevitably, one loses material gifts. It's best to enjoy those gifts while possible. And don't cry over spilled milk when they are gone. I'm trying to swallow that bitter pill at the present time, and practice what I preach.

Chubbo

Sorry to hear that hopefully insurance covers it at least.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Golddollar]

Yesterday I advised you on how to cope with unexplained happenings in our lives, today I am experiencing one of my own; This morning our sump pump failed, our basement flooded , and a lifetime of material things are ruined. Inevitably, one loses material gifts. It's best to enjoy those gifts while possible. And don't cry over spilled milk when they are gone. I'm trying to swallow that bitter pill at the present time, and practice what I preach.

Chubbo

i certainly feel bad for you and your wife about this. But you still have the memories of what those things represent.

 

[crstrode]

Perhaps you may consider the news as a reminder to do your best to make the best of your time on this earth.

We are all traveling upon the Level of Time to that undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns

 

[LVSteve]

The OP got me poking around the Web. Put in one of the more distinctive names from my school days and boom, there was his obit. Two years younger than me and taken by a heart attack last year.